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SleepyDom -> RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. (5/11/2008 12:57:09 AM)
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I think you already know the answer to your question, but I understand why it's tough to see or even acknowledge it. But if it's not so obvious, maybe I'll just state the obvious: Your talk of marriage etc. are just rationalizations, in the end it does not mean anything. Even if he does marry you tomorrow, it won't change anything unless the underlying issue changes, which is, TRUST. You don't trust him. He lies. You put up with his crap because you love him or because putting up with his crap is easier than confronting the issue head on which could very well lead to ending the relationship. But as one who's been down this road quite recently let me tell you that you can't avoid this by putting it off or turning a blind eye. That will only make things worse and worse until one day confronting the issue IS the easier course. But some people can't help that. They have to hit rock bottom before they'd do anything. But I'm saying that you'll have to deal with this cancer sooner or later--it'll actually be less painful if you do it sooner. And if you do it soon enough, it might actually be salvageable though it sounds to me like your relationship has passed the point of no return. I'm a Dom, but not your Dom, even your future Dom (meaning I don't want to be your Dom--hey I don't know anything about you, no offense), so this is an objective advise I give you: Confront him about the lies, about all his crap, albeit respectfully and in accordance with your status. If he's not an honorable Dom, if he will continue to lie to you, if you can never really trust him (so much so that your conscious mind has to find "logical" ways to cope with it, like marriage or other ways of "motivating" him to be honorable), then you'll never be truly happy with him, things will ONLY get worse, and you will eventually leave him (or he leaves you, really the same thing), and the longer this continues the more you'll suffer no matter how much you think you love him. I'm not saying leave him. I'm saying: Leave him if he won't come clean, if he won't sincerely try to salvage the trust in your relationship. Otherwise you're only wasting your life, your valuable time, being with someone dishonorable. The sooner you do this, the sooner you'll find an honorable Dom you could be happy with, yes one that you could love just as much if not more. You're just selling yourself short putting up with this crap.
Just curious, how did you end up a sub after being a pro-Domme? Or are you a switch? That sounds like an interesting story.
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