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RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 12:57:09 AM   
SleepyDom


Posts: 118
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I think you already know the answer to your question, but I understand why it's tough to see or even acknowledge it.  But if it's not so obvious, maybe I'll just state the obvious:  Your talk of marriage etc. are just rationalizations, in the end it does not mean anything.  Even if he does marry you tomorrow, it won't change anything unless the underlying issue changes, which is, TRUST.  You don't trust him.  He lies.  You put up with his crap because you love him or because putting up with his crap is easier than confronting the issue head on which could very well lead to ending the relationship.  But as one who's been down this road quite recently let me tell you that you can't avoid this by putting it off or turning a blind eye.  That will only make things worse and worse until one day confronting the issue IS the easier course.  But some people can't help that.  They have to hit rock bottom before they'd do anything.  But I'm saying that you'll have to deal with this cancer sooner or later--it'll actually be less painful if you do it sooner.  And if you do it soon enough, it might actually be salvageable though it sounds to me like your relationship has passed the point of no return.  I'm a Dom, but not your Dom, even your future Dom (meaning I don't want to be your Dom--hey I don't know anything about you, no offense), so this is an objective advise I give you:  Confront him about the lies, about all his crap, albeit respectfully and in accordance with your status.  If he's not an honorable Dom, if he will continue to lie to you, if you can never really trust him (so much so that your conscious mind has to find "logical" ways to cope with it, like marriage or other ways of "motivating" him to be honorable), then you'll never be truly happy with him, things will ONLY get worse, and you will eventually leave him (or he leaves you, really the same thing), and the longer this continues the more you'll suffer no matter how much you think you love him.  I'm not saying leave him.  I'm saying:  Leave him if he won't come clean, if he won't sincerely try to salvage the trust in your relationship.  Otherwise you're only wasting your life, your valuable time, being with someone dishonorable.  The sooner you do this, the sooner you'll find an honorable Dom you could be happy with, yes one that you could love just as much if not more.  You're just selling yourself short putting up with this crap.

Just curious, how did you end up a sub after being a pro-Domme?  Or are you a switch?  That sounds like an interesting story.

(in reply to DomAviator)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 1:03:00 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
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In some familial backgrounds, parents push their daughters to marry, they are still stuck in generational mentality where they feel their daughters are of merit equal to their husband's assets. The funds necessary to educate male children are limitless, as for female children the only careers available (what the parents were prepared to pay for) were nursing or secretarial. Sadly, that mentality is still prevalent and when marriages dissolve, the women, with little to no skills relevant to the employment sector, find themselves unemployable, a disappointment to their parents/peers and also in 'no man's land'.  

So while it's fine to consider one's self a 'trophy', one also has to remember that those trophy looks will soon dissipate, along with the man, the lifestyle and the only seat offered to them will be the one infront of their own bedsit mirror while they're smearing their red lipstick over their puffy alcohol sodden lips as they repeat the mantra, "I am beautiful."

Co-dependency is unattractive, but then, so is self-delusion.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomAviator
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
Shrugs.

I have decided that being thin and very attractive is part of what drives me crazy. All the guys I know are always telling me that everything will be ok, that there is no way a successful guy won't marry me, that I am totally fine and wonderful.

I think at some point I lost a realistic grasp of the relationship between actions and consequences. Ex, I once lived a whole year without a job because I had a boyfriend who very willingly supported me and told me not to worry.

See, it aint so great being a trophy.


Britney?? Is that you? Kevin was never right for you in the first place.... Call Dr Phil again hell make it better... Stop hanging around Paris, wear underpants, let your hair grow back it will all be OK sweety...

On a serious note though I understand the trophy thing I can see you are a real prize...


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Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 1:17:04 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Go to Nursing school.
You'll *never* be without a job and they make very good money!



Not everyone's got it in them to pierce others with needles, but since you're suggesting kittty goes into a medical career, why didn't you tell her to become a brain surgeon? Far more lucrative, and god knows, always needed - especially as many brains out there are showing signs of malfunction  .


I'd like to pierce you with something!

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 1:32:12 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

I would truly enjoy being a fiction writer. Unfortunately, this is not exactly a career path.



Isn't it?

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(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 1:35:26 AM   
stella41b


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From: SW London (UK)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

Kitttty, is there a reason why as an adult, you are unable to manage your life?


I am crazy.


So am I for reading this thread.

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(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 1:44:37 AM   
MissMorrigan


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But Stella, you must admit this is a fine start to the OP's literary career.

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A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

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Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 2:07:53 AM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
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what a future you have in writing fiction OP!  this thread seems to be full of it.  then again, we could just say it's full of something.  you're going to whine and cry about being "forced" to go to school, get a good career and then whine about being forced into law shool?  and you love your dominant, but you're not sure you want to be with him forever.  i wish i had such problems!  grow up, get through law school and then write legal fiction!  seems right up your alley, you can practice law and have your dream sideline.
PM


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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 2:17:15 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
LMAO!!!
 
Thank you, Stella!
 
: )

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 3:33:00 AM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
I do not know what to do. I also do not know how to leave my Dom and I seek to leave him more and more each day.


Tell him to read this thread that should do it. Is he computer illiterate or something?

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 5:02:31 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

But I do not know what to do because I do not know if I want to serve Master forever.


Perhaps he also realizes this and he's putting you on a path in order to help you leave. Just a thought.

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 5:44:45 AM   
cyberdude611


Posts: 2596
Joined: 5/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

what a future you have in writing fiction OP!  this thread seems to be full of it.  then again, we could just say it's full of something.  you're going to whine and cry about being "forced" to go to school, get a good career and then whine about being forced into law shool?  and you love your dominant, but you're not sure you want to be with him forever.  i wish i had such problems!  grow up, get through law school and then write legal fiction!  seems right up your alley, you can practice law and have your dream sideline.
PM




(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 6:10:02 AM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
In my case, you ought not fuck me up as a sub if you are my husband because then you have to deal with 1) a fucked up wife or 2) loss of half of assets.


Ok... but he's already dealing with a fucked up sub... so.... what's the difference???

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 6:18:41 AM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
Not for me. A collar just does not do it. I can't even feel the meaning of a collar unless I believe the person who put it on me intends to marry me. Like I said, it's my fetish. Some people can only submit to people in latex. I can only submit to someone who psychologically fills the role of husband.

And yes, I absolutely believe in the importance of marriage. It's something that every society on the face of the earth has invented because "honey I promise I'll take good care of you" does not stand up. If private agreements actually held up, marriage would not be a concept with official sanctioning in every country out there.


Clearly he didn't "psychologically" fill the role of husband yet you've been "his" for a year?? Not making a lot of sense here sweetheart. And, i've been the marriage route - trust me, it doesn't hold up anymore than a private agreement does. Wait, SHIT!! i bet i got a submissive for a lawyer that was forced to go to law school even tho he didn't want to!!! THAT was the reason i've struggled to feed my kids the last 5 years!!

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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 6:30:56 AM   
shannie


Posts: 200
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
This is precisely what happens if you do not go to a top ranked school. Seriously, law is not like the rest of America. You get hired based on where you go to school. Graduating from a top ranked school does in fact guarentee a six figure salary even if you are the bottom of your class. As for liking it though, that is another story.


This is not necessarily so. If you're going the "big-name law firm" route, this may be true -- but then, MANY people from top-ranked schools get used up and spit out by big name law firms (after all, not everyone makes partner).  But if you're real smart, and a "maverick," it doesn't really matter what law school you went to. (Of course, if a person went to Walmart Law School, it's a sign that perhaps they were NOT "real smart.")

On the other hand, yes, I've known doctors, lawyers (and lottery winners) who ended up dead broke.  Some people have a knack for that.







(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 7:21:53 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
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..

< Message edited by kc692 -- 5/11/2008 7:24:40 AM >


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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 7:25:36 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
I do not know what to do. I also do not know how to leave my Dom and I seek to leave him more and more each day.


Tell him to read this thread that should do it. Is he computer illiterate or something?


if he read this thread and didnt throw her "trophy" butt to the curb, she should hang on to him for dear life.....hes a gem.

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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 7:56:23 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I am crazy.


wow, just wow.
How about learning how to manage yourself before attempting a relationship, let alone a marriage.  Just a thought.


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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 8:58:19 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

what a future you have in writing fiction OP! this thread seems to be full of it. then again, we could just say it's full of something. you're going to whine and cry about being "forced" to go to school, get a good career and then whine about being forced into law shool? and you love your dominant, but you're not sure you want to be with him forever. i wish i had such problems! grow up, get through law school and then write legal fiction! seems right up your alley, you can practice law and have your dream sideline.
PM



That's it! Panthersmom, you're onto something.. I mean, she's unable to do anything but whine and complain, she's studying law, unable to manage her own life, interested in writing fiction, she has problems with relationships...

..wouldn't that make her an ideal politician?

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Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 11:26:17 AM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline
oh dear god, don't put that idea into her head!!

PM

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Sigh. I am in at law school. - 5/11/2008 11:36:35 AM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline
Do something that you want to do. Something that u are PASSIONATE about. Doing what you love makes you happy. Not many can claim that in a job fullfilment.

I can understand doing what your Master says to do but in a job i disagree. Not only will u be unhappy in the job you will resent Him! If you need help get therapy for heaven's sake to help you understand what you want out of life, job, happiness etc. Do not seek happiness from somebody else it is a short time effect. YOU HAVE TO DECIDE what you want and what makes you happy. If you don't know seek help!

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)
Profile   Post #: 100
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