RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (Full Version)

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Kinkypupper -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 11:14:09 AM)

NO not at all.. questions placed in a reespectful mannor should ALWAYS be welcome in fact encouraged



Lordandmaster -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 2:05:59 PM)

That's true, but, in my experience, most slaves' questions have been sincere. A slave who tries to use questions in order to undermine authority probably does a lot of other things to undermine authority as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

As well people need to understand the difference between questioning for understanding and questioning for undermining authority. Many insecure dominants do not see the difference and thus refuse all questions in order to remain in charge.




plantlady64 -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 2:27:55 PM)

Hello There,
Asking about your lifestyle is one thing we should all be permitted to ask as we need to figure out how to live pleasingly to our Masters. If we didn't know what protocol he led in how could we follow it?
Like the Gorean thread said though, asking him about his personal choices or business ie. his bank account or asking where he's going or when he's coming home are something all together different and none of my business unless he wants it to be.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne



daddyspooka -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 3:04:58 PM)

This girls' questioning in NEVER to undermine the authority of her Master,only to understand better the lifestyle that W/we've chosen to lead together.But Master believes that if His girl should have known the answer to her own question.,He then will, inform girl that she'll recieve punishment for asking stupid questions.


With NO intended offense to ANY Master/Mistress,Dom/me ... if this girl had KNOWN the answer to the question asked..... the question would have never brought up.And this girl is intelligent enough to realize that repeated questioning of the same topic or improper timing of questioning,would and SHOULD result in punishment.


WANT to ask my Master questions in regards to a comment that was made BY Him recently,but because of past punishments FOR asking questions,this girl is hesitant.Any advice for a good girl that's NOT looking to be disobedient in ANY manner?



KCMOLucky -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 3:40:09 PM)

Personally, I think it's deplorable to punish someone for asking a question pertaining to anything. A punishment isn't something to take lightly, or dole out because you're having a bad day, or to get out of having a conversation with your submissive, and that's what it sounds like to me.

Secondly, your master is listed as a "VERY submale looking for an VERY dom female". That right there causes me concern, because, if he doesn't know what HE is looking for, how in God's green earth can he expect to control someone else?

It sounds like you're in a very toxic relationship, one that just might be detrimental to your lifestyle, both in and out of S&M.

Whatever path you take, whether it be to continue to search, or linger in a relationship where it seems like your intelligence is being questioned, I wish you sincere luck.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 5:02:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyspooka
WANT to ask my Master questions in regards to a comment that was made BY Him recently,but because of past punishments FOR asking questions,this girl is hesitant.Any advice for a good girl that's NOT looking to be disobedient in ANY manner?[/color]

You have two choices- have a good long discussion about what exactly his question protocol and standard is. There IS such a thing as a stupid question. Anyone who has seen Serenity knows the "River look" at a dumb question and I can mimic it perfectly.

The other choice is, as someone else said, ask permission to speak freely and take your chances.



IronBear -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 6:29:10 PM)

Slaves will ask questions. It isn’t an option as I expect them to ask, especially when it involved the daily operations or something they are unsure of. So the question is how do they ask and when do they ask. Answer is simple; a slave will kneel and beg to be allowed to ask a question. She will be tole either yes or no. If no, she will be instructed when to ask. She will also be asked if the question is one, which can be dealt with quickly, or will it take time and even an open discussion. I will make time when it is appropriate to have her with me in a quiet area so she can open up and ask away. Some questions may result in her being told that she doesn’t need to know the answer, “Curiosity is unbecoming in a kajira” or that the subject is the business of the Free and she will be told what she needs to know. However most things I am happy to discuss and explain to said slave. As in all matters slaves will ask/beg in an appropriate manner suitable for their station (property).



BlueDevil -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 7:20:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyspooka

Should a sub be punished,by her Master/Dom, for asking questions regarding her D/s relationship with Him.
Have read in many places,regarding the D/s lifestyle,that communication is a vital part of it,but if the sub is continuelly told that punishment is a consequence of asking questions,then wouldn't that keep her from wanting to openly communicate with her Master/Dom?


All that I can do is tell you what is acceptable in my relationships, I can't tell you what is right or wrong in someone else's regarding protocol or rules.

However, if you want a relationship with someone who feels that communication is important, and allows you to ask questions, you can communicate that to the one you're involved with, refuse to except punishment for questions, and/or ask for release.

Not advice. Just options.



OscarHargraves -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 8:34:33 PM)

I believe the problem is WHEN to communicate......... and maybe how. I seem to remember a thread a couple of days ago where ES2 mentioned that she has a way of writing questions down someplace so that her Master can read them. Ask her specifically how this is done and how it works. It might give you and your Dom an idea of how to settle this issue.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 8:41:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves
I believe the problem is WHEN to communicate......... and maybe how. I seem to remember a thread a couple of days ago where ES2 mentioned that she has a way of writing questions down someplace so that her Master can read them. Ask her specifically how this is done and how it works. It might give you and your Dom an idea of how to settle this issue.

Twasnt me, the only thing I was encouraged to do was email with specific questions so he could answer at his leisure. Leaving questions down so he could read them would be the best thing to do if I wanted them to be lost and completely forgotten about. :)



Delvin -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 9:39:13 PM)

the girl was/will be punished for asking a question. What was the question ?

Asking, directing, confused over the same topic, repeating the question, didnt like the answer the first time, so asking again....

there are many different factors here, and not knowing the following...

a) what was the question ?
b) when was it asked ?
c) did she interrupt her Master ?
d) was she instructed to do something else and decided to ask a question ?

the list can go on until all the facts are out, but really, there is never a cut and dry answer to most questions asked.

Should she be punished ?... yes... no... maybe... maybe not...only the Master knows and the slave will learn from the punishment

D



Wolfie648 -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/20/2005 10:31:03 PM)

quote:

WANT to ask my Master questions in regards to a comment that was made BY Him recently,but because of past punishments FOR asking questions,this girl is hesitant.Any advice for a good girl that's NOT looking to be disobedient in ANY manner?


I can understand your hesitancy. From what you have uotlined, it sounds like you need to stop asking questions or suffer the consequences?; only you can find the balance.

D (owner of j).





Soulhuntre -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/21/2005 12:15:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyspooka
his girls' questioning in NEVER to undermine the authority of her Master,only to understand better the lifestyle that W/we've chosen to lead together.But Master believes that if His girl should have known the answer to her own question.,He then will, inform girl that she'll recieve punishment for asking stupid questions.


Sounds fairly reasonable to me. Heck, I find that policy to be downright permissive. But then I am probably a somewhat bad guide for what is "reasonable" it would seem :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyspooka
With NO intended offense to ANY Master/Mistress,Dom/me ... if this girl had KNOWN the answer to the question asked..... the question would have never brought up.


The issue is not whether you knew. It is apparently whether you should have known it seems. Those are radically different things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyspooka
WANT to ask my Master questions in regards to a comment that was made BY Him recently,but because of past punishments FOR asking questions,this girl is hesitant.Any advice for a good girl that's NOT looking to be disobedient in ANY manner?


Well, if your goal was to be obedient then from what you have told us of his preferences I would say your best option is not to ask. Sometimes obedience and service means you don't get to do everything you want to do, or know everythign you want to know or demand all the answers you might want.

That would be why it is service, submission or slavery and not "happy fun I get everything I want time".



Focus50 -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/21/2005 3:56:23 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfie648

If the sub has asked the same question 3+ time (up to 3 is acceptable to me but that is my own limit not everyone's) and asks again, I can only assume they weren't listening the first 3 times. If they aren't listening to me 3 times on the same subject, (or they aren't understanding my explanation, it is their responsibilty to let me know that, as I cannot read minds) they had better be prepared for a punishment. I am not here to be ignored.

Though I know what you mean, I don't actually put a number on it because if she has to keep asking, *one* of us is failing in communication and I'm big enough to admit I'm a 50% chance of being that one. So I don't necessarily see it as her fault for not understanding my explanation and I'll consequently go the extra yard in sorting it out.

Personally, I'm happy to explain the majority of decisions I make but it's not always so easy when that decision is based on nothing more than my preference - so I do draw the line of tolerance somewhere.

Sure, a dom can just pull rank and tell her it's not her place or right to question him but I'm not against some transparency if it makes life a little smoother all round. Besides, any clueless oaf can cop out that way, too - especially if your sub/slave is one of those annoyingly intelligent types capable of asking insightful questions. And they ARE my preferred type....

Focus.



daddyspooka -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/21/2005 6:05:24 AM)

This girl deeply appreciates all the advice and answers to her post. Will respectfully request that Master allow her to talk to Him soon regarding questions that i have.
This girl in no way wants to disrespect,dishonor,undermine or disappoint Master in any way,but feels that there are things that need to be addressed and only through open communication can this girl be clear on certain aspects of her relationship to Master.
And yes,Masters' profile DOES state that He is a very submissive male seeking a Domme.....but He is MY Master and a Switch in all reality,but none the less, still my Master.
This girl hopes that things can be resolved for she hasn't been in the lifestyle long(going on a little over a year)and is still being trained and guided.But hates the idea of the possiblility of having to resort to asking to be released and searching for a new Dom/Master.
Once again,this girl respectfully thanks all Masters/Mistresses,Dom/mes that have taken time to reply.



wetrope -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/21/2005 6:57:22 AM)

Are you nuts, what on earth are you thinking, no questions are part of communicating, never a subject of punishment. What do you want a piece of wood to punish!!



SirSix72 -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/22/2005 4:01:31 PM)

First the question in the original OP was a little vague...........what is the questions you were being punished for? Then we may all discuss the possibility that your Owner has a viable reason to punish you for asking them........

Master Six



Hallittlelolita -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/22/2005 8:22:05 PM)

No not all, you must communicate, communicate. Communication is everything, and i communicate all the time with my Master and you should too[;)]

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal



fyreredsub -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (10/23/2005 6:34:14 AM)

the brief time i had a knowledgable Master training me, i had occasion to question him on a matter,
w/ some thoughts that had occurred after a conversation we had.

so i asked.

of course the manner used.... i feel is important.

one does not wish to sound demanding, stupid or ill mannered.

communication is vital(i'm sure many have stressed this).

i would not wish for a Master that didnt allow me to think or express myself.

how else is he going to come to understand what makes me tick or i to understand and know how he thinks.....

so i can better anticipate his needs, or make decisions in his absence?


quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyspooka

Should a sub be punished,by her Master/Dom, for asking questions regarding her D/s relationship with Him.
Have read in many places,regarding the D/s lifestyle,that communication is a vital part of it,but if the sub is continuelly told that punishment is a consequence of asking questions,then wouldn't that keep her from wanting to openly communicate with her Master/Dom?




MastersBabieGirl -> RE: Questioning your Master/Dom (11/21/2005 8:53:23 AM)

personally i always ask master if i may ask him a question i have yet to be denied
i think its all in the timing and how you go about asking the question each dom/domme is different in their way of handling this situation
but to be punished for asking doesnt make sense to me



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