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English for confusing people - 5/16/2008 9:04:57 PM   
Aanakaris


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1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse .

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind in the kite.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'
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RE: English for confusing people - 5/16/2008 10:46:59 PM   
GreedyTop


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lol this is great!

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RE: English for confusing people - 5/17/2008 7:49:38 AM   
Saratov


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Then too, don't forget to mention the varied ways two gets spelled.  Might want to get comfortable, this may take a spell.  I mean "fast" can mean 'to refrain from eating', to 'move quickly' or to 'be secure'.

BTW, I think the folks in Great Britian might wish to point out what we are discussing is more correctly american or at least american english rather than what is spoken in england.

< Message edited by Saratov -- 5/17/2008 7:50:13 AM >

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RE: English for confusing people - 5/17/2008 6:31:29 PM   
CMastersen


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Ah Yes - English class made Me homophone-phobic!! (There are Way Too To Two Many types of Homophones!!  )

< Message edited by CMastersen -- 5/17/2008 6:40:31 PM >

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RE: English for confusing people - 5/17/2008 6:37:01 PM   
KCherry


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This thread is really cool. Thats Hot!

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RE: English for confusing people - 5/18/2008 4:53:14 AM   
Politesub53


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There are also the varied ways spelled can be spelt, you can use either or either, and still be right. Is the opposite of right, left, or is that wrong ?

I love how you can be shot by a hood but not by a bonnet, and gas is even a liquid in Amercia, except when having a laugh or gossip, then its having a gas.

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RE: English for confusing people - 5/19/2008 12:38:24 AM   
JulieorSarah


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I never know whether to let the wether out in the weather!
                  (a choice)     (neutered male sheep)       (rain, etc)

generally i have a problem with left and right!

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RE: English for confusing people - 5/19/2008 1:54:23 AM   
rukna


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a small typo
6) The soldier decided to desert his "company" in the desert.

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RE: English for confusing people - 5/19/2008 6:58:23 AM   
Aanakaris


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rukna

a small typo
6) The soldier decided to desert his "company" in the desert.

The reference was to leaving ones sugary treat behind in the desert, not ones company of soldiers...

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RE: English for confusing people - 5/24/2008 3:39:11 AM   
kitarina


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reads and rereads. smoke pours from ears with a grinding sound then a bang- We're sorry, the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try again!

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