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mistoferin -> RE: Getting into sub space (5/19/2008 12:52:05 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gordie452000
I am talking about getting a sub into her comfort zone over the phone or the internet, or even in person without contact of any sort.
A few years ago I wrote a post about the "zone" I think you are talking about. This is what I wrote....is this close?:
quote:
There is a feeling that I have gotten from the Dominants who I have been with in my life that I am at a loss for a name for. In talking with other submissives I have found that I am certainly not the only one who gets this feeling, although I have never heard an actual name put to it.
It is the feeling that you get when you are chatting and laughing with your girlfriends at a munch and your Dominant walks up and strokes your hair, the feeling that you get when your eyes meet from across a crowded room, the feeling that you get when you are hurrying around waiting for Him to come home with butterflies in your stomach...and He walks in and puts His arms around you, the feeling you get when you're balancing the checkbook and he comes up and strokes your cheek......the list goes on and on.
The only way that I can really describe the feeling with any accuracy is to say that it is very much like the feeling that you get when you sit down to nurse a baby and that intense calm comes over you when the oxytocin is released into your body. It is like you can feel your mind stop racing, your heart rate and breathing slow and you become enveloped by a calm and serene cloud. It is sometimes as profound as a shot of Valium.
I have always described the feeling as a "settling into place", because quite often it comes at a time when I am pre-occupied with anything other than submission, and it instantly puts me into "submissive mode".
Also, around the same time frame I wrote another post, one that describes the type of man who can put me in that "zone"
quote:
I think I understand the "It" although I am not sure I can verbalize it very well myself. I have felt the "It" on several occasions, not only coming from my own Master but also from others in the community that have "It". The things that the dominants that i feel "It' from seem to have in common are that they are all very respectable, honorable men who have that air about them that tells you that they are very real and sincere in their pursuit of this lifestyle, but also that they are self assured and in control of their lives. They are like Father figures and have qualities about them that make one feel safe and comfortable in their presence. I know that the "It" for me is an overwhelming feeling that I would just like to curl up in their lap like a cat and be stroked. This is not to say it is at all common, I have been living this life for many years now and can probably count on my fingers the number of dominants who I know that I feel have "It".
Beyond what I have written, I don't think that there is anything that they have consciously "done" to trigger that response in me. I think it boils down to having built trust and a high degree of respect between you and your submissive.
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