Motivated with fears and a search, is this the right way?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Motivated with fears and a search, is this the right way?

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Motivated with fears and a search, is this the right way? - 5/20/2008 6:23:02 AM

wettoy

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I have been interested in submission for many years, it has been in the last year that i met one time with a dom, it was a very wonderful experience for me. Now it leads me to more questions, more fears, more needs. I first decided to seek out sessions and time with TPE, then if i feel that my submission is in actuality a need to serve, then work towards ltr of slavery. If my fears are too great, is this a better course to find my answers?

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/20/2008 6:39:03 AM

CruelDesires

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Do you have a local submissives support group meeting that you can attend? Mayhaps learning more about yourself and who you are might be a better idea before you toss yourself to the "online" wolves ,might be a better idea.

CD

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Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
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(in reply to wettoy)

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/20/2008 6:39:28 AM

Madame4a

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From: Washington, DC area
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I don't have a clue where you will find your answers, and I challenge anyone who says they know -- other than within yourself.

Personally, I think that slavery and TPE are not for the faint of heart, and are not things to rush into. While I realize here you see someone brand new, uncollared one day and then calling themselves a slave and in a TPE relationship the next -- it is, in my mind and experience an illusion.

I think that TPE and real slavery are a progression and a place one goes after a lot of experience and soul searching -- that takes time. Its also not the easiest thing in the world, no matter who you are.

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/20/2008 6:43:53 AM

wettoy

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this is true, i have been active in bondage for ten years or so, and i asked these things then. it is now much needed, and i should hope the wolves have manners.

(in reply to Madame4a)

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/20/2008 6:44:00 AM

SirMIkeSD

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From: San Diego, Ca
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I would recommend joining local groups as well as asking questions here of other subs/slaves to help your fears. But remember that without stepping outside of your comfort zone there will be no personal growth. So no matter how much you ask about, there are still going to be fears until you actually step outside of that zone and do it. That is not to say that you should not ask all the questions (or look in the archive, for those already asked) to calm your fears.

Mike

(in reply to wettoy)

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/20/2008 6:46:02 AM

wettoy

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thank you

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/20/2008 6:50:43 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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The wolves have no manners. Rather than seeking the relationship you want and finding a Dominant to fit into it, consider going about your search a bit differently. Find a dominant you get aong well with and see where things progress from there. Not every relationship becomes a lifetime commitment, but to focus on the one that does to the exclusion of those that might not is robbing yourself of a lot of potential experience. And you never know when a relationship might be THE ONE even if it wasnt planned. When I met my Fox, it was just to chat about the lifestyle becaue he was frusterated at the lack of involvement he found in his area. Meeting to reassure him he was not alone, and possibly for some information has turned into a lifetime partnership and an engagement. You never know where something wil lead unless you let it happen.

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/20/2008 4:55:39 PM

antipode

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I am not understanding your question. "If fears are too great, is this.. etc.". What "this" are you referring to? And a better course than what? And what if "fears are not too great"? Too great for what?

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/20/2008 5:33:06 PM

DesFIP

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Prsonally I'm much more a believer in finding the right person and allowing the relationship to grow organically.

And just because you don't have much experience doesn't mean you don't know what you want. You know what gets you hot and horny vs what's a complete turn off. Just because some dude puts a capital d in front of his name isn't going to change your responses that greatly.

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/21/2008 4:16:32 AM

Dnomyar

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I put a capital D in front of my name. Op listen to what DV said.

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/21/2008 4:46:48 AM

daddysliloneds

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sounds a lot like the way different religious groups handle things; motivating people through fear and searching; works for them.

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RE: Motivated with fears and a search, is this the righ... - 5/21/2008 10:15:54 AM

batshalom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wettoy

and i should hope the wolves have manners.

Reminds me of that snake story. It needed help, the boy picked it up, the snake bit the boy, the boy was dying from the poison and said, "I can't believe you bit me." The snake said, "You knew what I was before you picked me up."

Like DV said, the wolves have no manners. Use your noggin and save your heart for someone who matches what you need and want.

(in reply to wettoy)

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