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ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Owner, you didn't ask me, but I'll answer anyway. When you say someone needs "shaping and molding", to me, that screams that they are immature, naive, not street smart, less than intelligent, etc.  Like a big smart man needs to come along and take a stupid woman and teach her how to be a functioning adult.  I'm a grown woman, I'm fairly intelligent, I keep my own house, take care of my kids, work several jobs, balance my checkbook, etc., etc. I don't need a man to come along and change me into an ideal woman. I'm already an "ideal" woman for somebody, somewhere.... now I just have to get him to come and find me!

Cali

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ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

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ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

For submissive/slave types;
"What does being shaped and molded actually mean to you personally"

It means that I would not be compatable with someone who wanted to do that and I would not consider a relationship with anyone who was into that kind of manipulation.
 
the.dark.

 
I'm rather curious as to why these words, have a negative meaning to you?

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ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave
For all the Dom/mes out there;
"What does shaping and molding somebody mean to you on a personal level"

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....
I am already a person.  I do not have to be molded into anything to make me more compatable.  I do have the realisation that I may not identify some points of me that could do with enhancement, but to be molded and shaped?
No.

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ORIGINAL: softness

I never used to like the idea that I was imperfect ... and so I was hostile to the notion fo being changed "shaped or molded" .. I used to be particularly snappy about suggestions I could be slimmed down. that has changed. I think maybe its a maturity thing, I think its also learning that just because some things need to change - it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with what is there .. just that things could be better

I see it like this, we are all imperfect beings, we  can all do with improvement. Now that improvement is best done by ourselves, we all know however how easy it is to find excuses for not getting something done - and self improvement is often on that list. Who better then than your trusted loved one to encourage that change, perhaps even direct it? In a healthy, positive well balanced relationship shaping and molding will most likely be improvement. Also, it isn't always just the submissive that changes, often the relationship can shape and mold the Dominant's behaviour (for instance into the habit of eating real food, rather than surviving on a diet of popcorn chicken and quadruple strength coffee) though this is likely to be a secondary/indirect  effect. I need to be in a relationship where my Owner holds me to account for what I lack *and* guides me to improvement - that is the type of man I want to be around and share my life with.

I look at shaping and molding as a positive thing - without it I wouldn't be losing weight and getting fit, or I would still be smoking, or I would still be sucking my thumb, or biting my nails, or suffering from low self esteem, or self doubt, without shaping and molding I would still be flailing around unfulfilled rather than having a clear, focussed and well thoughout out plan for my life that I am totally at peace with. Without being shaped and molded I would still be going to sleep at night with a vague sense of unease, that something was out of place or missing .. rather than ending the day smiling and looking forward to tomorrow.

Sir has said to me often, I dont just want you - I want the highsest standard of you, the best version of you there can be. I am already a better person for having been trained, guided, shaped, molded .. whatever you want to call it ... it works for me .. and it is making me exceedingly content.

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I never used to like the idea that I was imperfect ... and so I was hostile to the notion fo being changed "shaped or molded" .. I used to be particularly snappy about suggestions I could be slimmed down. that has changed. I think maybe its a maturity thing, I think its also learning that just because some things need to change - it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with what is there .. just that things could be better

I see it like this, we are all imperfect beings, we  can all do with improvement. Now that improvement is best done by ourselves, we all know however how easy it is to find excuses for not getting something done - and self improvement is often on that list. Who better then than your trusted loved one to encourage that change, perhaps even direct it? In a healthy, positive well balanced relationship shaping and molding will most likely be improvement. Also, it isn't always just the submissive that changes, often the relationship can shape and mold the Dominant's behaviour (for instance into the habit of eating real food, rather than surviving on a diet of popcorn chicken and quadruple strength coffee) though this is likely to be a secondary/indirect  effect. I need to be in a relationship where my Owner holds me to account for what I lack *and* guides me to improvement - that is the type of man I want to be around and share my life with.

I look at shaping and molding as a positive thing - without it I wouldn't be losing weight and getting fit, or I would still be smoking, or I would still be sucking my thumb, or biting my nails, or suffering from low self esteem, or self doubt, without shaping and molding I would still be flailing around unfulfilled rather than having a clear, focussed and well thoughout out plan for my life that I am totally at peace with. Without being shaped and molded I would still be going to sleep at night with a vague sense of unease, that something was out of place or missing .. rather than ending the day smiling and looking forward to tomorrow.

Sir has said to me often, I dont just want you - I want the highsest standard of you, the best version of you there can be. I am already a better person for having been trained, guided, shaped, molded .. whatever you want to call it ... it works for me .. and it is making me exceedingly content.

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"What does being shaped and molded actually mean to you personally"

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ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Owner, you didn't ask me, but I'll answer anyway. When you say someone needs "shaping and molding", to me, that screams that they are immature, naive, not street smart, less than intelligent, etc.  Like a big smart man needs to come along and take a stupid woman and teach her how to be a functioning adult.  I'm a grown woman, I'm fairly intelligent, I keep my own house, take care of my kids, work several jobs, balance my checkbook, etc., etc. I don't need a man to come along and change me into an ideal woman. I'm already an "ideal" woman for somebody, somewhere.... now I just have to get him to come and find me!

Cali

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ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

This is 100% dead on the money, to what I was trying to express! thank you!

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ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

For submissive/slave types;
"What does being shaped and molded actually mean to you personally"

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ORIGINAL: laura2161

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ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

For submissive/slave types;
"What does being shaped and molded actually mean to you personally"

You know, I actually have something about this in my profile. I wrote more or less that I hope the Man that finds me does not want to mold me into someone new, that I am who I am. I also mention that change for the better and learning new things is always good.

When someone tells me they want to 'mold' me, it does have a negative connotation with me. What I hear, is that I am not acceptable the way I am, and he therefore has to mold me into someone different to be with him.

Something I have learned from this thread tho, is that is does mean different things to different people and the next time a man tells me he wants to mold me, I will ask explicitly what he means before thinking the worst.