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Aine -> RE: switch beginnings (5/22/2008 6:41:32 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jim64
Sure this has been ask before, but how did you first begin to "switch"? As a bottom i do not even know how to think about it. My partner/Domme is never going bottom for me! lol! i don't want her to. Other than working on flogging skills, what is there to practice or work on? It is a learned skill with participants.
i think i know the answer to this. Just watch and wait. The rest will come as it may. i just know that i am much more nervous about my first time as a top than i ever was as a bottom.
Real question is ???
Any stories out there about the first time you "switched"?
Depends on what you consider switching.
SMTop: Someone who administers pain for the purpose of administering, or because they enjoy administering it. This person can be a Dominant, or sub/slave. subs/slaves can be sadistic, with or without the direction of a Dominant in a scene.
SMbottom: Someone who receives pain merely because they like it. This person can be sub/slave, Dominant, or neither.
The flip side of this is a Switch, someone who is inherently both Dominant and submissive. They can be a slave to one, and Dominant to others. They can be sub to one, and Dominant to others. They can be Dominant to one, and sub to others. You get the idea.
Topping - Playing the "role" of the "in charge" person in a scene or under direction of another Dominant in a scene, for SM reasons, or otherwise, learning under that Dominant to see if they do indeed have a dominant side of their own, and to develop it, mentally, emotionally and physically.
Bottoming - Being essentially, the one on the "bottom" of a pair of people in a scene. This person is not always and inherently a submissive or slave. In most cases when it comes to SM, it's a Dominant who happens to like receiving pain. They direct the Top (occassionally a submissive/slave) in how to administer the pain for their pleasure. But in some cases, it's less to do with whether a person is even submissive or dominant. It could just be that someone enjoys the sexual act of being overpowered in bed...being there for the enjoyment of another, and live very "normal" lives out side of the bedroom.
Oi...I hope you're still with me...'cause I'm not even sure if I'm still with me at this point.
Anyways.
I am a switch. I am inherently both dominant and submissive, I engage in both activities with my switch Mate/Fiance. I am a sadist and a masochist, so I also enjoy giving and receiving pain. For me, it comes rather naturally, but I've also spent the last 6 years working on the mental aspects of this lifestyle, reading, watching, talking to people and adjusting things as I see fit for myself and my personality.
As for starting out....it depends on what you want to do, what you want to try, and how you feel about it. Comfort is a good thing, being as aware about any particular activity as you can before engaging in it...trusting those around you to help you out where you need it, and to be patient and understanding with you. You can also find a Top or Dominant to mentor you in things, physically and mentally.
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