kiwisub12
Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006 Status: offline
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Hell - the poor woman is working, and has two small kids to care for - one of which is special needs, is pregnant and has adhd, as does her son. I have a couple of kids with add, and the effort of having to keep them on task was horrendous. I imagine when you have it yourself, it would be even worse. Combine that with a pregnancy with some problems, massive tiredness, and housework - i am surprised she even gets out of bed in the mornings! Give the poor woman a break! Literally - take over some of the housework, and child caring. Make it a specific duty - eg the laundry or the dishes. Do it. Maybe do more than one chore. Taking a break from the lifestyle may be the best thing the two of you can do. but you need to talk to her about it first, and present your reasons, in a very nonguilt inducing way. She may not want to take a break. You need to reassure her that if you do take a break that you aren't planning on leaving, and that it is up for renegotation in a specific timeframe. When i was in a similar, vanilla situation, i was so tired from doing all the housework, working fulltime in an ER, and basically doing whatever my husband demanded that i didn't want sex - i just wanted to sleep. Help around the house and with the kids, cuddle her, rub her feet, touch her in passing, tell her she is beautiful. Tell her she is desirable, and when ever she is up for it you would love to prove it to her. I really think at this time in your relationship you need to make allowances for her. And i don't think she is topping from the bottom - I think the poor woman is trying as hard as she can to cope with some major life issues at a time in her life when she is probably wiped out physically.
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