Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (Full Version)

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eyesopened -> Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 2:49:18 AM)

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't  seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.




sirsholly -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 4:51:13 AM)

LMAO




purepleasure -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 5:34:02 AM)

LOL  Great list!




mztresn0w -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 6:17:05 AM)

LOL




domahpet -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 8:12:45 AM)

[sm=sucks.jpg]




GreedyTop -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 8:26:50 AM)

LOL  for some reason as I was reading that list I kept seeing Larry the cable guy...




rubberpet -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 11:34:56 AM)

Here's a few more things you'll never hear a redneck say:

1.    Hand me my toothbrush.
2.    I like the scent of deodorant.
3.    Camoflage is not a color.
4.    I graduated high school.
5.    Roadkill is NOT dinner.
6.    Stop doing that to your sister!  What's wrong with you!?
7.    I love my wife more than my hunting dog.
8.    A pick-up truck is not a Country Cadillac.
9.    Commercial fishing does not include dynamite.
10.  My idea of light reading is reading "The Grapes of Wrath".




slaverosebeauty -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 9:20:19 PM)

[sm=biggrin.gif]




servantheart -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/22/2008 9:31:42 PM)

Too funny! 




HypnoticDan -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/23/2008 2:19:08 PM)

- Should I diversify my portfolio with a hedge fund?
- Hell no I won't take the law in my own hands.  I pay my taxes so I don't have to!
- Ever since my Chinese sight-seeing tour I've been trying to implement some of the more progressive socialist ideas I learned over there.  The county judge is on my side, but now I need to convince the electorate.  I think it's time for another wine & cheese social.
- Walk, Forest.  Walk.





AVoiceofSanity -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 4:03:13 AM)

- This country SUCKS!
- I don't care if the cops did beat his ass for nothing - he deserved it!
- Yes I have the money but I am NOT bailing him out!
- So what if your house burned down.

And on a Lighter Note
- PLEASE stop performing oral sex on Me, or I will have to call the police!




Saratov -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 12:26:19 PM)

A virgin?!?  Well heck, if her own family won't mess with her I ain't gonna waste my time with her neither.












Oh, wait, they just might say somethin' like that.




hammernhoney -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 12:35:25 PM)

sorta OF A red neck myself,I can relate to having 10 or so deer heads in my den which also happens to be my dining room and kissing cousins are OK in my book but have to be second cousins,I have my integrity you know,was invited to a friends house warming party to help him take the wheels off his new home and Larry the cable guy has it down,now with this said tongue in cheek I will admit when Diane and got married all my trophy deer mounts went out in the trash lol...




spinninsweetness -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 4:11:53 PM)

So I understand the joke completely... never having encountered a redneck, or spent much time in America.

Some of the list could be Britished -up... change redneck to Cornishman.... and I can say that, I'm Cornish!




hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 4:27:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

LOL  for some reason as I was reading that list I kept seeing Larry the cable guy...


I kept seeing the faces of a couple of my ex's.....
 
1.    No, it's not a good day to go fishin - the weather isn't good enough
2.    Hunt Bambi for the Freezer? That's just cruel and inhumane.
3.    I just can't understand why someone would Want to get mud on their truck.
4.    We can't go out to the bar with you and Bobby Sue, Bubba - we have tickets to La Boheme tonight.
5.    2step?  I thought that was called the Foxtrot.
 




GreedyTop -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 5:46:05 PM)

*snort*

(btw..Great profile :) )




LadyRainfire -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 6:04:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

I kept seeing the faces of a couple of my ex's.....
 
1.    No, it's not a good day to go fishin - the weather isn't good enough
2.    Hunt Bambi for the Freezer? That's just cruel and inhumane.
3.    I just can't understand why someone would Want to get mud on their truck.
4.    We can't go out to the bar with you and Bobby Sue, Bubba - we have tickets to La Boheme tonight.
5.    2step?  I thought that was called the Foxtrot.
 


Or don't forget Bill Engvall........

[sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]




DiurnalVampire -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 6:06:20 PM)

I know people who resemble this list.
I might add:
I cant wear this shirt with that bra... the straps might show!
Do white shoes start before or after labor day?





christine1 -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 6:20:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

 
 
nevahhh!!!!




Saratov -> RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: (5/24/2008 9:29:29 PM)

The water in this jar smells kinda funny, should I pour it out?




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