pinkpleasures
Posts: 1114
Status: offline
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First, i am honored IronBear considers me a friend...as i do He and Neets, His Wife and Companion. The thing about tolerance (understanding set aside for the moment) is the "hot button" issues of mysoginy, abuse, and bigotry. i was just contacted this morning by a Man who is African American but seeks a white slave. i don't understand the kink and it makes my hair bristle...i want to criticise Him but i'm unsure whether or not to do it...so i let it go.. The thing about abuse -- the sort we can all agree on, such as sending a woman to the ER -- is that i have said it can be avoided by following one's instincts and getting some hard, verifiable information before being alone with a Dom or Master. i got so much crap for saying things like this i have thrown in the towel. The thing about bigotry is i have not tolerated it in my life before BDSM and see no reason to do so now. i'm talking about ethnic, religious, racial, and sexual orientation bashing. i kid around about being scottish, but i will always respond angrily when someone takes a swipe at another due to these descriptors. Understanding is hard. My learning curve when i first found D/s in jan '04 was extremely steep...and remains so. i do not understand playing with scat or pee...i do not understand many s/m activities. i know what they are...i just do not understand why people do such things. But i have learned to let the person be...and i have friends who are sadists, poly, etc., whom i love dearly...though i could not understand fully their "kink". This is the problem as i see it: an opinion is expressed, and a member takes issue with it, but rather than staying on-point, they attack the poster. i vividly remember FlButtSlut discussing her sorrow over losing one of her dogs, and someone posting that she was inadequate and should not even have a child...that she should put the child up for adoption. i cannot understand such cruelty...FlButtSlut needed compassion and kindness due to her loss, and at least one member decided to kick her while she was down. It has happened to me as well; i once posted a thread on sadness...due primarialy to the dwindling hope that i'd ever find a Dom or Master...many people were kind and supportive but others jumped me and kicked me whilst i was down as well. i think some people are just cruel. i cannot understand the posts about "limiting the Dom"; what i seek is highly personal and i have developed an idea of what sort of relationship/Man would make me happy. i do not understand why this serves as a limitation on the Doms; no one has claimed me yet (though i have explored a relationship with some Doms) and i have failed to find a Dom or Master who fulfills my needs/wants/desires...so i do not bother Men who cannot or become Their friend. i fail to see why seeking what i need/want/desire sets limits on anyone...the Men are free to end the discussion just as i am. It would be a significant improvement to the boards if we treated one another with mutual respect, and stayed away from flaming, but some people post such incendiary things that is very hard. So it's a conundrum; do i allow the cruel remarks to go by and say nothing, or do i call the member who posted them to task? i'm still unsure. pinkpleasures
< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 10/24/2005 3:43:54 AM >
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