'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (Full Version)

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MstrVik -> 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/26/2008 2:23:18 PM)

I came across an interesting article in The Guardian today. I just read it and not at all sure what to think of it yet, but it's relevant to this forum so I'll simply post the ingress and the link:

'Claire Taylor thought she knew her husband inside-out. One day, however, she stumbled across some websites he had been secretly visiting - and another side of him began to emerge
I'll never forget that afternoon. It was 5pm and my world turned upside down. I'd just ordered John, my husband of 30 years, a jazz festival ticket for his birthday, and, to keep it a surprise, wanted to wipe the site from the computer's list of recently visited addresses. I'd never done this before. But instead of "Cheltenham Town Hall" at the top, sites were all mixed up, going back two or three years. Names such as "Spanking", "Fetish" ... What? What!'(...)  http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/relationships/story/0,,2282188,00.html



MstrVik -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/26/2008 4:50:54 PM)

After pondering a bit on this one, I have decided that I think there ought to be a sequel to this article, perhaps titled something like 'And then all those things that seemed possible actually happened'. - I have a feeling that, if it ever gets written, it will not be posted in The Guardian however.



sophia37 -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/26/2008 5:44:32 PM)

And 4 months later, their life is perfect. Or as perfect as it gets once you man-proof, or lock your husband out of the computer. That kind of happiness, I can live without.  



LadyRainfire -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/26/2008 6:21:01 PM)

[8|]  I must be a sick bitch... I would have offered to tie him up.



MstrVik -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/26/2008 6:35:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRainfire

I would have offered to tie him up.


Seems like the least one could offer!



Roselaure -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/26/2008 7:30:25 PM)

Poor guy.  Nothing like a little righteous judgment to kill a good time.



clearshooter -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/27/2008 10:44:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRainfire

[8|]  I must be a sick bitch... I would have offered to tie him up.


Someone should have!



camille65 -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/27/2008 11:21:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Roselaure

Poor guy.  Nothing like a little righteous judgment to kill a good time.
 "The day after my discovery, I made decisions. Our relationship could only continue if he stopped looking at porn and never did so again, and if he agreed to come with me to see a sexual therapist. Normally liberal, I was driven by a gut instinct of revulsion. I was not prepared to accept pornography as part of our sexual life, and that was that. " And folks can't figure out why there are so many married people seeking out what they need online behind their partners back....



dreamerdreaming -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/27/2008 11:35:30 AM)

Yeah, poor guy... His wife squashed him like a bug. What a waste of the perfect opportunity to aid him in his quest for self-actualization. Just like anyone else, he has a right to be himself. To become more and more himself, with each passing day. How dare she interfere.
I would have straitjacketed him to make him feel all comfy and sweet and safe while I used him... (Evil grin...)



Shawn1066 -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/27/2008 11:51:23 AM)

Eh, the both suck.  Him for hiding something like that from her for years, and her for her reactions to it.  They deserve each other.

DV's Fox



BlackPhx -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/27/2008 12:09:23 PM)

Prediction..one that we will probably never know if it comes true or not..

He will continue this way for about another year and then his own need will make him reach out for release..either a dominatrix or porn. She will get nearly everything in the divorce, and he will get what he truly needs, to be free to be him.

Or, he will continue to push her buttons until he gets what he needs from her. Right now, he's getting it as she is controlling the entire marriage, all he is doing is pushing the right buttons to keep her going, but he will need more and then the above will occur most likely.

poenkitten (sighing)



LadyRainfire -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/27/2008 12:17:45 PM)

[&o]  Possibly not, if he knew this would be her reaction. Remember, they'd been married for some years so he probably had a pretty clear idea of what her reaction would be. What I found sad is that while they talked about sites that showed women being bound and tortured, not once were the Female domination sites mention. Ummmm, wanna bet those were the sites the husband visited? Oh well.....



MstrVik -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/27/2008 12:52:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

Prediction..one that we will probably never know if it comes true or not..

He will continue this way for about another year and then his own need will make him reach out for release..either a dominatrix or porn. She will get nearly everything in the divorce, and he will get what he truly needs, to be free to be him.

Or, he will continue to push her buttons until he gets what he needs from her. Right now, he's getting it as she is controlling the entire marriage, all he is doing is pushing the right buttons to keep her going, but he will need more and then the above will occur most likely.

poenkitten (sighing)


I think you may be right. Clearly, when the wife here tries to boil it down to a sort of 'porn addiction', she also forgets / denies / suppresses the important fact that it wasn't just any ol' nudies he was after. Apparently, simply the porn aspect in itself freaked her out so much that she couldn't manage to digest the main issue here - or it's simply that it isn't real to her.

Given that, I think it's unlikely he'll be able to push her buttons in a way that'll produce the type of scenario he needs, so I think that first suggestion is more likely. Very obviously, he's gotten a great deal of insight into the workings of his own mind through that entire process. He may simply be doing his best to keep her happy until he's ready to leave or do whatever he has to do - his needs and urges are not going to simply disappear, and I think he probably knows that - even if she doesn't.  



petdave -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/27/2008 5:10:01 PM)

Geez, that was depressing [:(] Wonder if the poor guy ever gets any time alone for a bit of self-bondage, at least... Surely his wife must get out of the house once in a while to share malicious gossip or spend his money...



GoddessTeaze -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/28/2008 7:12:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrVik
After pondering a bit on this one, I have decided that I think there ought to be a sequel to this article, perhaps titled something like 'And then all those things that seemed possible actually happened'. - I have a feeling that, if it ever gets written, it will not be posted in The Guardian however.

It's great to read, how people
get out of the closet, and this is just one story.
It's not that simple to "just" open up.

It's way too easy to judge them.

I hope they've found what they we're looking for.

GoddezzT`



beltainefaerie -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/28/2008 7:25:50 AM)

I find it sad in that there is sexual repression.  However, at least there is communication.  I would rather people enjoy their sexuality, but some people are really freaked out by their own ideas and desires.  Maybe realizing what the tying up was about (feeling safe) helped him find it a different way.  I don't feel like I can or need to judge their relationship.  Maybe she's a repressive bitch or maybe she is just a confused wife supporting her husband through a percieved crisis in the best way she knows how.  It is always interesting to see how different people choose to lead their lives.  I am glad, though, that my husband doesn't react that way to my porn (or my sex toys, or my Master, or my companion [:)])



Leatherist -> RE: 'Suddenly anything seemed possible' (5/28/2008 8:29:30 AM)

I agree with her, he needs to quit looking at porno and get medieval on her ass instead. [:D]



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