RE: switch per person or per relationship

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 8/2/2008 8:41:25 AM

massmissy

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/31/2008
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Yeah I would have to say that for me its all about the chemistry and connection with a person. When the right kind of feeling is there I find it naturally tells you what direction it should go in. For me that has meant that I'm more of a switch per person type since in that situation it just feels "right" to me. That isn't to say I wouldn't consider it with a specific person if for whatever reason it sparked that interest...but its kinda unlikely just because so much of it depends on a spark being there Dom/sub or Domme/sub wise that I havent found it also works reversed.

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 8/2/2008 11:57:20 AM

ftmboyfag

Posts: 23
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline

Switching really depends on the person you have a relationship with. I think my past three relationships(including my present one) are perfect examples.

1) B, a Dom who brought out my subbiness for the first time.
Most of the time I bottomed to him, though we definitely had a lot of fun with me on top(though sometimes I bottomed from the top). Most of the time when we got kinky he was on top. He once ordered me to spank him and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of wrongness and couldn't finish.

2) M, a boyfriend who I never estabilished a formal bdsm relationship with.
M and I switched often and each of use did eveything to the other, though I would mostly be the first to suggest new kinky things. Sometimes we would focus on one set of roles for that time, or switch once or several times during the act.

3) D, my current submissive boyfriend.
With him, it's just assumed that I would be topping. I'm very new to this, since I always assumed I was more of a bottom, but he seems to be happy with what I'm doing. I'm surprised at hom much I like it, too. The only time D is on top is to get off, sinc ehe has an easier time doing it that way. Even then he's mentally bottoming since I tell him to do it.

So all are good! It's all sex

It's all love :3

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Happy novice top to D! :3

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 8/5/2008 12:20:51 AM

Violently

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Uk West Midlands
Status: offline

I have a nothing's written in stone approach to most of my relationships. I don't tend to mess with the ju ju :)

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 8/5/2008 6:06:29 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
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Per scene... per moment... only with special people... Don't ask. Because if you have to ask, then I won't Switch for you!

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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 8/6/2008 4:15:00 PM

TanukiChan

Posts: 37
Joined: 3/11/2008
Status: offline

I'm a pleaser, and tend to do both forms of switching. My partner has always come first - but if I can, I try to end up with another switch long-term, so that at least the options are open for both of us.

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 9/5/2008 7:52:10 AM

pdv99

Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Generally, I've either been Dom in a relationship, or sub, but have had occasions when a partner has switched things around a little... and I think my ideal would be to find my "equal" - another switch, someone with whom we could both adopt either role, depending on our needs and desires at the time. That way we could both satisfy all our needs within the closeness of a one-to-one relationship.

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 9/9/2008 2:11:09 AM

ErosandPsycheNZ

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/29/2008
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I started as a sub, to a kind, caring Sir. I was and still am totally His.... when I'm on my knees before Him, He is my Sir and my world. Yet, he saw in me a need to Domme, and I saw in him a need to submit... and I realised if he was to submit to anyone, I wanted it to be me. So now we switch... and WOW..... my world is technicolour - lol.
As they say, each to their own.... and I'm loving my own way.

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 9/17/2008 11:39:01 AM

ohbiguy32

Posts: 281
Joined: 9/2/2006
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My wife andI both switch with each other. Outside of our marriage, she is domme and i sub.
dave (rayshell when dressed)

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 9/23/2008 11:16:57 PM

djaleksandr

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/10/2008
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I switch whenever the mood strikes, and due to situation. If my partner is a more solid sub or domme, then I will act accordingly. If it's another switch, well, then all bets are off and it's fair game!

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'is simplicity best, or simply the easiest?
the narrowest path is always the holiest.
so walk on barefoot for me,
suffer some misery,
if you want my love.'
[ depechemode judas ]

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 9/24/2008 12:33:35 AM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

Im a switch per relationship. Like my sub is a decidedly beta personality...theres no mistake about that. My Leather Sir and My Master (not the sane person) are decidedly Alpha Males, I couldent even contemplate topping them at all in the slightest it would just fuck it all up for me. Even if my Leather Sir is a switch, and he asked me to Dom him one night during play, hes taught me so much, I would be so nervous, I couldent even think it. Now if he told me to slap him or bite him or what have you...I could easily, but to actually DOM him... watching lick my boots and be subservient to me.....i couldent do it.

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 9/25/2008 10:27:43 PM

hurtme45

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/25/2007
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For the most part I don't switch with the same person. I like to keep the two sides of me seperate. I have only switched lightly with a sub buddy of mine as he was helping me practice a few techniques.

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 10/16/2008 3:12:19 PM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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In my limited experience, it's been pre relationship.
Davan

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RE: switch per person or per relationship - 10/27/2008 11:36:36 PM

lunar7

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/27/2008
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yah see for me that's just the thing - it has to be per partner. i can't do it per relationship because polyamory to balance it out would cause too many problems and that's not what i would look for anyways.

i would look for another super creative mind to really enter uncharted territory with - because clearly there is a severe lack of creativity in any of the media i have ever had access to - which was some of the most far out stuff that exists as far as i know - i'm a quality over quantity person so i would delete about 99% of stuff found in extremely refined searches to begin with as it was.

i was never really that interested in what actually happened - it was all about finding the rare stuff that actually has a convincing psychological situation going on - so ironically often the writing and animated stuff would work out better than the majority of video-based stuff ever could.

and this was always a type of quest to see if there were people out there applying ideas like mine or better yet stuff i might not have thought of. and it remained so rare!

i started to wonder if the scenes (beyond BDSM included) all started to focus way too much on the physical and so from then on I knew that I would only be happy finding a single partner that could explore the fullest aspects of themselves with me so that at least we could prove these levels i always think of (and hopefully they would to) can be made possible at least in isolated pockets.

but i would feel guilty keeping it contained so it would be so much better to write fiction with them and get the ideas out there - someone else could do the animes or produce real videos - fiction is enough for me. i find that it's the best for applying the fullness of the individual imagination to the situations described anyways... but the greatest frontiers remain to be broken in the videos still.

we need more psychologically deep video media to get more of the Doms and switches thinking outside the material box (not subs, they should not be allowed to generate ideas to apply if they are truly subs, unless they are in their "off hours" and want to submit suggestions into some sort of conditional suggestion box as a reward for best behaviour only)

you can really make do without a lot of gear if you have the right frame of mind, creativity, and willingess to assume the most convincing roles and act them out, i think. in fact if i had the opportunity (and hopefully soon will if this site is any good for meeting ppl???), i would hold off on introducing any gear until the psychological rapport was firmly established first.

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Post #: 33