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plantlady64 -> RE: WIITWD? (10/26/2005 8:00:56 AM)
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quote:
WIITWD
What It Is That We Do
Hello There,
For me what we do is find an alternate way of communication and interaction than the traditional puritan vanilla couple. It’s a dance all of it’s own nature for me.
I think the open communication and need to have trust in the alternate lifestyle relationships is more necessary than it could be in vanilla realms. I think since we talk and trust deeper, our relationships reach deeper levels than that which are obtained in mainstream vanilla culture in general.
I've also felt people into BDSM & Gor are more real and open with their friends, co-workers, community and loved ones, have a better self esteem, and seem more balanced in life overall then a lot of other people.
Of course there's the bottom feeders hanging around making it bad for all the real people in the scene, but I choose to just overlook them in this conversation.
quote:
How many share the same definitions, beliefs, pleasures, kinks, loathing, fears, needs, wants, desires, etc? How many have compromised to start a relationship only to have the differences that we thought we could agree to disagree over push the relationship over the edge? Is 'pushing' limits really about helping our partner explore new ground, or forcing them to eventually comply with our own needs, making their limits match our own, their interests mirror our's?
Do we each need to find our exact match, or, are we really better off with our opposite? Are we strengthened by the compromises we make, or are we molded into someone that we don't want to be?
The way to answer this for me is I feel I am forged by the same metal as my Master. We come from the basically same belief system & home values.
I look at how we fit much like the two halves of a yin/yang. It's the same metal, but two separate halves must meet perfectly for the union to not be filled with gaps. His Yin fits my Yang like they were forged as a set. We bring different things to the relationship, but the overall product is balanced scales, not one side up and one down.
My Master does indeed push me to try things I don't like or am fearful of. I know if I honestly think I’d freak out he wouldn't want do something to me that he knows I couldn't handle. Sometimes my body language is a tell tale sign of the fact I submit for him and hate something.. I love and respect him for the choices he makes to push harder or not push at all. Over all he’s very fair and loving with my limits being pushed. I don’t think this molds me into someone I’m not, but rather it helps me find deeper places inside me I didn’t know existed before my Master shed light on them.
Though he pushes me hard occasionally I feel it's not something he does selfishly, but rather selflessly. To take someone you love through something that's freaking them out or that scares them is a huge gift, and a huge responsibility to undertake.
To give us the confidence to know we can do anything we set our minds to is a valuable gift we can learn from this type of control in my opinion.
I'd also say my whole life is geared to complying with my Masters needs. That indeed is part of the "WIITWD" that works for me & makes me happy.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne
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