The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (Full Version)

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solvr70 -> The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 12:44:32 PM)

Having seen a number of different forced-xxxx topics come across the forums, forced-bi seems to be the one that catches the most flack on the "forced" word. With various opinions and observations stemming from it not being possible to force people to do things they do not already want to do, to the person checking off forced-bi as an option really being bi at heart.

i'll not belabor those. but with this variation let's assume this particular activity/service centering around it only being exciting at all, perhaps wildly exciting, if it is done at the direction of a Domme, and the key being how excited She is about is, is there a better word to use, or better way to describe it? any number of things fall into the the excitement comes from the excitement it brings the Domme. but, since this one tends to get hung-up on that, is there a more appropriate word to use or better way to describe it?



chamberqueen -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 1:40:42 PM)

I believe that there is such a thing as forced bi.  If a Dom/me directs this activity, and the sub wants to please their top, they may go along with it even though at heart it may disgust them.  In cases like that it is only for the enjoyment of the top and the willing participant, though the bottom may come to like it with time.



TwoNYCDommes -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 1:55:47 PM)

I've seen the term "encouraged-bi" used before, but not often.

Personally, I object to the "bi" part of the common term as much as I do to the "forced" part, since not all who participate in such activity are bi, any more than they are all forced.  (One could perhaps argue that they are either one or the other, but not both.)

However, as dissatisfied as I may be with the term "forced-bi," it is a commonly-known term that can be conveniently used to cover a certain set of activities, and thus can serve a useful purpose.



LadyPact -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 1:57:48 PM)

I don't believe you to be incorrect.  One thing I'd like to point out about the 'forced' bi scenerio that a lot of people fail to mention.

There are two different sides to this kink.  There are those who willingly, graciously engage in this activity.  In these cases, the term 'encouraged bi' is probably a better fit.  These are the cases where one will happily engage in this activity with the right Dominant woman.  There is no struggle or inner turmoil on the part of the submissive.  These are the types who can embrace the fact that he is a sexaul creature.  One who is commanded to participate in this task.  He does so for the reasons that the Domme has decided that she wants him to.  Whether it is for her own arousal, entertainment, or just because it's Tuesday.

The other side of that coin is something that is more of a 'forced' variety, but it is within the submissive.  There's internal struggle, especially with his *manhood* because he has been raised in a society that hasn't yet moved forward enough to realize that being bi shouldn't be any different for him, as it is for his female sub counterparts.  He will submit to the activity, but the Domme in question must be ever watchful for the fallout.  Emotional insecurity, guilt, shame.  None of which is warrented, but happens in some cases. 

On a personal level, a good bi scene can keep Me going for weeks.  My husband has reaped the benefits of My directing a boy to service someone, because it keeps the sex life at home high on the scale for quite a while.  Oh, and should the boy chose to get on his knees (meaning in front of Me afterwards) to thank Me for allowing him the pleasure of providing this entertainment for Me, the additional thrill from the look in his eyes, can keep Me going for months.

Did it just get really hot in here?  I need a shower.



bashfulhuck -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 2:04:31 PM)

This for me is a bit of a loaded topic i think. In my normal life, i am most definetely not bi...
However, there were a few times with my Domina that she introduced another male into a scene, and she had me service him. Would it be something i would normally as a rule do? Nope, but it pleased her and that was important to me. Did i hate doing it? Not at all, because i'm comfortable with my manhood in everyway.
Should i ever be lucky enough to find another Domina, and she brings this into play, i would most certainly do it for her out of love, with no hesitations, and no anger in my heart. Is it something i crave and seek out? No it isn't. But i truly don't have much in the way of true hard limits, and with the right Domina, those hard limits would soften up over time anyway.



TallDevoted1 -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 2:48:44 PM)

I think people get a bit too hung up on the semantics of this.  

If someone told you that they forced themselves to eat salad for lunch because they're on a diet, would you jump on them and claim that in fact it wasn't "forced" because they willingly ate the salad?  Would you then claim that they, in fact, were actually vegetarians in denial, and just needed the "permission" of a diet to eat salad?   The whole thing seems ridiculous to me.



solvr70 -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 3:17:39 PM)

*sweating a bit*

took me a while to even post, chat about it. rt would be a whole new level of it. would certainly take One such as Yourself that is excited a great deal by it to get past all the things You mention in your second scenario

yea, i do believe it is getting hot on here!



MissOchistic -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 3:45:45 PM)

Of course you can do sexual things with someone of the same sex without being bi. I can do sexual things with someone I have absolutely no sexual attraction to. I'm not aroused, I'd really rather not be there, but I'm still in control of my muscles and can do it; it's hardly as if straight people would be unable. Much like I don't have to be attracted to my vibrator to use it. It's just...a prop.



solvr70 -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 4:12:00 PM)

very true. particularly when on the receiving end.

if on the giving end, depending on the situation could be kind of like trying to shoot pool with a rope
[:D]



solvr70 -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 4:15:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

I've seen the term "encouraged-bi" used before, but not often.

Personally, I object to the "bi" part of the common term as much as I do to the "forced" part, since not all who participate in such activity are bi, any more than they are all forced.  (One could perhaps argue that they are either one or the other, but not both.)

However, as dissatisfied as I may be with the term "forced-bi," it is a commonly-known term that can be conveniently used to cover a certain set of activities, and thus can serve a useful purpose.


also a good point. as "bi" does imply some sort of attraction on it's own. but is much shorter then detailing "taking c*ck to please and excite One". that is just waaaay to long



boyforyouruse -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 4:44:14 PM)

quote:

If someone told you that they forced themselves to eat salad for lunch because they're on a diet, would you jump on them and claim that in fact it wasn't "forced" because they willingly ate the salad? 

In this case shoudln't it be that at lunch someone forced them to TOSS salad not eat it?

*ahem* On a bit more serious note..
I think people are taking the "forced" wording of this or forced feminization just a bit to literal. They're also both things that seem to be hotbuttons to various dominant females & submissive males, so it's not surprising. In my opinion they're kind of grasping for a way to attack it because it's not their thing. When threads like this come up or when people aren't interseted in it, I don't know why they can't just leave it be. They've got to go after it and explain why it's so wrong, etc.

When I see forced-bi my brain translates it to "A guy who is willing or enthusiastic to have sexual interaction with another male, but wants a woman watching / directing / enjoying this interaction."

Any time you read something exactly as it is written without considering the bigger picture it's bound to cause problems.Myopic viewpoints generally fail to convince anyone, and are commonly used as a way to attack something someone doesn't like. If you don't like it, or even if you hate it, just leave it be and dont' participate.



Reigna -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 5:08:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: solvr70

Having seen a number of different forced-xxxx topics come across the forums, forced-bi seems to be the one that catches the most flack on the "forced" word.


As you point out, mention of something like "forced come eating" rarely excites much controversy. With "forced bi," I think that people are reacting to the "bi" part more than the "forced" part. For various reasons, bisexuality, like homosexuality, is an emotionally charged topic. So of course, people respond.

quote:

... let's assume this particular activity/service centering around it only being exciting at all, perhaps wildly exciting, if it is done at the direction of a Domme, and the key being how excited She is about is, is there a better word to use. or better way to describe it?


A million monkeys banging on a million keyboards for a million years probably would chance across a better term. But you'd probably get a huge argument whatever term you use, simply because bisexuality in and of itself is such a loaded notion. 



khem -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 9:06:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boyforyouruse

When I see forced-bi my brain translates it to "A guy who is willing or enthusiastic to have sexual interaction with another male.."



I tend to disagree.  For me, the attractive part of that particular kink is taking an otherwise heterosexual man and having him interact with another man solely because he wants to please me.  It's not forced anymore than me asking him to take out the trash or do the dishes.  Without me, trash, dishes, and man-sex are not turn-ons.  The rush is that he is willing to do it because it's what I want.



boyforyouruse -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 10:22:06 PM)

quote:


I tend to disagree.  For me, the attractive part of that particular kink is taking an otherwise heterosexual man and having him interact with another man solely because he wants to please me.  It's not forced anymore than me asking him to take out the trash or do the dishes.  Without me, trash, dishes, and man-sex are not turn-ons.  The rush is that he is willing to do it because it's what I want.


That's basically what I said. A otherwise hetrosexual guy won't seek this out on his own, he wants the woman there.

"
quote:

A guy who is willing or enthusiastic to have sexual interaction with another male, but wants a woman watching / directing / enjoying this interaction.
"



MissOchistic -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 10:37:55 PM)

The phrasing does make it sound a little like you mean the guy actually wants to have sex with men but wants a woman there as a prop. 



LadyPact -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/3/2008 10:43:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boyforyouruse

quote:


I tend to disagree.  For me, the attractive part of that particular kink is taking an otherwise heterosexual man and having him interact with another man solely because he wants to please me.  It's not forced anymore than me asking him to take out the trash or do the dishes.  Without me, trash, dishes, and man-sex are not turn-ons.  The rush is that he is willing to do it because it's what I want.


That's basically what I said. A otherwise hetrosexual guy won't seek this out on his own, he wants the woman there.

"
quote:

A guy who is willing or enthusiastic to have sexual interaction with another male, but wants a woman watching / directing / enjoying this interaction.
"



Ok, let's get the mini-hijack out of the way first.  Exactly where were you when I was in Colorado?

All right, all right.  Back on topic.  There's a huge difference between the wording when you say willing or enthusiastic.  It's also a range of things in-between.  Some that I've shared this experience with have literally let Me see them battling their inner demons when receiving the command that they would service another male.  Others have been more accepting of the task, knowing they had only slight hurdles in their way. 

A key element that we're skipping over here lightly is the energy that is fed off of from the Dominant Woman in the room.  It is her very excitement that solvr alluded to that can make or break this scenario.  Sure, it's one thing to engage in this solely for the idea of having power over another.  That's a given.  But to do it, not just for the power that one willingly gives by obeying this command, but the fact that the act also sexually excites, arouses, and titillates the Dominant Woman giving the command.  You have a whole new ball (oh, excuse the pun) game.

I could turn this into, probably one of the worst triple X rated posts on all of CM if I really chose to get into detail about the things I like about this particular topic.  I'll save the viewing public from how much of a perv I can really be when something excites Me.



iwearpanties -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/4/2008 3:09:08 AM)

as a sub male i understand both sides of this topic / coin   .   for the male sub that wnats and seeks forced bi at the hands of a Mistress / Domme  just as was stated here the sub may feel more at ease or relaxed  with the female there as a way of his / her guideing them thur this type of session or play.   i feel it can and dose work with both femming and bi . one thing i thing that not benn mentioned here is the humiliatuion / embrassment  but also the Excitement of this type of play just may set the tone for a great session with there Mistress / Master / Domme....



solvr70 -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/4/2008 5:13:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
A key element that we're skipping over here lightly is the energy that is fed off of from the Dominant Woman in the room.  It is her very excitement that solvr alluded to that can make or break this scenario.  Sure, it's one thing to engage in this solely for the idea of having power over another.  That's a given.  But to do it, not just for the power that one willingly gives by obeying this command, but the fact that the act also sexually excites, arouses, and titillates the Dominant Woman giving the command.  You have a whole new ball (oh, excuse the pun) game.


[sm=yourock.gif]
Exactly! thank You m'Lady! what You said above! i've never heard it worded that way before "fed off of from the Dominant Woman in the room." That is spot on. An excellent way to describe it. You are most spot on the dynamics of it more then most any other Domme i have seen.
[sm=bowdown.gif]

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I could turn this into, probably one of the worst triple X rated posts on all of CM if I really chose to get into detail about the things I like about this particular topic.  I'll save the viewing public from how much of a perv I can really be when something excites Me.



*tilts my head* and that would be a bad thing? W/we're all pervs here, well i supposes i should only speak for myself. And hearing how closely one of my particular kinks matches up so well with Another's does help with the acceptance of it. But truth be told, does make is one of those threads that i go back to over and over due to the heat and excitement it causes. All the better if i'm at work or somewhere that i can't do anything about it.
[sm=mademyday.gif]



MissSepphora1 -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/4/2008 5:18:13 AM)

If a man watches a "forced" bi scene to heighten his sexual arousal, does that make him bi as well?



solvr70 -> RE: The dreaded "forced" word in forced-bi. Anything more fitting? (6/4/2008 5:44:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSepphora1

If a man watches a "forced" bi scene to heighten his sexual arousal, does that make him bi as well?


Hummm...[8|] i'm not sure what effect that particular variation would have on me. if it was in the context of Her letting me know "you're next!" that would cause a great deal of apprehension, and excitement that would come with it. but just watching, now sure that would do much for me.

the is he bi, would be a thing that would just have to do with is he attracted to men also, not so much having much to do with the D/s context of it all. imho that is.



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