sirsholly
Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
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The truest definition of StuckOnStupid is offering to run a dress rehearsal for eight 3yr olds ready to sing "The Bee And Me" at the parents-night program. They were all dressed as little wee bees with little wee wings and hats with little stingers.
Letting them have the hats was a mistake.
The only thing they had to do was line up and sing. Thats it. I did not ask them to stand at freakin' attention. I did not ask them to stand in a straight line. I did not even ask them not to sing off-key. All i wanted the pint-sized poops to do was line up and sing, damnit!
But NOOOOOOoooooooo. 
They choose to ignore the one-armed crazy lady who was trying not to cuss, because it was way more enjoyable to take off their hats and jab each other in the butt with the attached stingers.
So...after several good jabs resulted in several bent stingers, i wised the hell up and made them hand over the hats...and hand them over FAST.
So...back to the fucking bumblebee song. But NOOOOOOOoooooo. 
The issue now? I had a stage full of eight highly pissed off 3 yr olds who had no intention of following the directions of the one who caused their enjoyment to be shot in the ass (no pun intended). They just stood there with their little arms folded across their chests (except for the third kid on the right who had his index finger crammed up his nose).
I was in the process of taking yet another deep breath when a teeny tiny 2 yr old wandered onto the stage. The child was simply adorable, dressed as a thundercloud and leaving a trail of cloud-fuzz in his wake. He decided to rest his fluffy tush on the end of the stage...plopping down to take a load off. Fine. I was busy with the bumblebee crap and really didn't pay any more attention to him.
That was a mistake.
The little thundercloud suddenly decided he was bored with sitting, picking and spitting out cloud-fuzz. So.. he turned his attention to the silver lightening bolt he carried. Actually i should say he DIVIDED his attention between the lightening bolt and the rump of the bee closest to him. That particular bee just so happened to be my son.
Yanno...keep your eyes open to your children and you will learn something new about them on a daily basis. Todays discovery is that the LoudOne does not appreciate a whack in the tush with a lightening bolt. Nope...not one bit.
So...since the boys were finally singing that ridiculous song (and the third kid on the right finally got whatever he was fishing for) i quietly headed to the opposite end of the stage to remove the lighting bolt from Mr. Cloud and send him on his rainy way. But NOOOOOOOOoooooo... i was too slow. While i was busy noting the booger-picker completed his mission, the LoudOne reached behind him and removed his bee wings. He then took the wings and slapped the thundercloud upside the head. Of course this was noticed by the other seven, who were rather dismayed that they themselves did not realize they could beat the snot out of each other with their own wings. This situation was quickly remedied, wings were torn off and the free-for-all began.
< Message edited by sirsholly -- 6/2/2010 12:25:48 PM >
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RE: The Holly and Potty Show - 
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