Advice for a new guy please

Advice for a new guy please (Full Version)

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trav608 -> Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 2:53:23 PM)
I have lurked here for a while, just joined – I am a reasonably fit and attractive 40 year old (so I have been told) – a bit shy about posting a pic yet but will work on it. Recently divorced, and I would like my next relationship to have this aspect to it as well. I listed myself as a switch – my experience has mostly been a spankee to a reluctant spanker, and she was rarely interested in getting. I’m not interested in being a slave or having one, I want to have an apparently vanilla life with the occasional spanking involved, and open to new things behind closed doors. Am I at the right place? Do people meet and find a new friend here, possibly more? - Thanks for any advice

softness -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 2:55:12 PM)
umm .. yes put something like that ... but maybe with a little more clarity in your profile ... and am sure you will find someone I would ... if you are actually looking for a real time partner ... get yourself to some munches, clubs .. parties etc ... and meet people in the flesh for the flesh good luck s

Phin -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 2:59:13 PM)
yep... what she said.... be clear about what you are looking for...

darchChylde -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 2:59:59 PM)
Yes, flesh out your profile with some information on your non-bdsm interests, desires and life in general. The main things are to be patient, honest and up front about your expectations and desires. Though, things will likely go slower for you here than finding a local (some drive 3-4 hours or more to get to an event) munch or social to meet people in real life. It is perfectly ok to just be into the physical aspect, many of us "serious" life-stylers started off that way (though it seems most seem to completely forget the fact); and many people never move beyond that stage, which is also perfectly alright. Edited to Add: Dammit, those fast typers beat me to it.

fluffyswitch -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 3:01:55 PM)
yes i agree. i met my master on this site and it started completely casual. just fill out your profile and be aware that this could take some time. this is my second profile and i've been on the site two years, and i've only recently met Him.

Madame4a -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 3:02:09 PM)
Take a look at the ask a mistress forum... look back and you'll see a lot of GREAT advice from women, among others, about profiles.. what Dominant women want .. and then some... good luck

SteelofUtah -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 3:02:24 PM)
On the Collar me side you should think about maybe posting a picture that hides your face then at least the can see the good looks you are proud of. Beyond that put in your profile EXACTLY what you want and what you are looking for in a partner and what your partner would be getting in you. And then just start reviewing Profiles in your area as well as surrounding areas and if you like thier profile stop by and say Hi and tell them why in a reply. I think you could find a person who suites your desires. Steel

CruelDesires -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 3:07:28 PM)
My advice. Don't post a penis picture. It puts alot of people off. CD

SteelofUtah -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 3:35:06 PM)
And he speaks from experience. Steel

trav608 -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 3:39:05 PM)
Thanks for all the fast responces, It's not that I am proud of my looks - it's just that I'm not the comic book store guy from the Simpsons either - and thanks all for the advice - I will work on my profile and see what happens - thanks for the warm reception

Prinsexx -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 4:31:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CruelDesires My advice. Don't post a penis picture. It puts alot of people off. CD I find I have mood swings on this one. Some days I need a face pic another day I prefer a cock shot. getting both I like well kerchung!! stability [:D]

katie978 -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 5:11:05 PM)
Although you may have luck on collarme, I also suggest you join some vanilla dating sites. None of the activities you suggest seem to be that kinky, and on non-kinky sites, the female-to-male ration is a lot more even (here on collarme, I imagine women are outnumbered at least two to one, possible much more). You could just add a little bit on the profile that you like getting a little wild. ^_^ Good luck in your search.

pinksugarsub -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 5:12:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trav608 I have lurked here for a while, just joined – I am a reasonably fit and attractive 40 year old (so I have been told) – a bit shy about posting a pic yet but will work on it. Recently divorced, and I would like my next relationship to have this aspect to it as well. I listed myself as a switch – my experience has mostly been a spankee to a reluctant spanker, and she was rarely interested in getting. I’m not interested in being a slave or having one, I want to have an apparently vanilla life with the occasional spanking involved, and open to new things behind closed doors. Am I at the right place? Do people meet and find a new friend here, possibly more? - Thanks for any advice Lots of P/pl on CollarMe seem to have a spanking kink...s'times it's T/their only kink. Yr in the right place, and i wish You well in Yr search. pinksugarsub

kiwisub12 -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 5:16:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CruelDesires My advice. Don't post a penis picture. It puts alot of people off. CD I would agree with this - I have to say, as a female that has seen more penis' than average, that it isn't the finest part of a male. Now , give me a good butt shot, and i'm all over it. I do think penis pictures are off-putting. There is something about an isolated penis that is just sad!

Aine -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 5:19:51 PM)
Sounds like a kinkster to me! Plenty of kinksters hanging about looking for something that isn't necessarily a total power exchange and whatnot. Just be honest and open about what you are looking for! :D Good luck

MrSpectacular -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 7:05:07 PM)
Of course you are in the right place -but - not having read your profile and just from your post it seems like you possibly like to indulge in some kinky stuff from time to time - or when the urge hits you. There is nothing wrong with that. As long as you are upfront about it - and are not seeking to deceive anyone who may want a relationship with you as a submissive, for example. It is really important that your communication is clear about what you want. There are also plenty of pro-dommes who satisfy some of those urges fairly well also. Sincerely, N

opensoul -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 8:05:39 PM)
I have been reading Collarme for over a year, may i suggest, read a few books on Bdsm, to see what may arouse you. I met my Master on a different site and He suggested several books . Then we talked about what i liked, what scared me and we went from there. Screw the roses, send me the thorns, is good IMHO. This is to the OP

CruelDesires -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/5/2008 9:13:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah And he speaks from experience. Steel Yep. My old profile was "TwoHandsNeeded" and I had 29 marraige proposals and 2 porn movie making offers in 2 days. I killed the profile and now live a life of seclusion and denial . Or was that delusion and senility? [;)] CD

ViceVersa -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/6/2008 3:39:20 AM)
Hi trav608, If you haven't already investigated it, you might also see if there's a local group nearby for you to join and meet people. Local groups often have workshops, munches and special interest groups (SIG). For example, we had a local group here that had a very successful Spanking SIG for a number of years. Here are a couple of resources for finding local groups (in addition to googling): http://domsubfriends.com/a-wwwdir/org.shtml http://www.fetishscene.com/fetishscene/cgi/main.cgi Good luck! Vice

LadyLynx -> RE: Advice for a new guy please (6/6/2008 7:30:31 AM)
lol cock shots. sometimes I like viewing them, other times I don't. However prefer asking for them, a cock shot being sprung on me without notice.....shudders Also, cock shots rarely do much for me, unless there is something rude being done with it. (CBT,and what not.) if even then.

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