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opps - 7/24/2004 4:06:36 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Moderator three
Sorry for posting incorrectly and being negative. I did not see anything saying we could not warn others of predators of any nature. sorry for doing wrong. How can we protect ourselves and to help protect others from users and abusers of our lifestyle. Just a wondering slave

RE: opps - 7/24/2004 4:21:45 AM

Posts: 935
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I made this post a while ago concerning a different thread but similar issue. I will post it again now.

http://www.collarme.com/forum/m_4954/mpage_1/key_//tm.htm#4954

We had to remove this thread, because to be honest, we have no way of knowing whether what was posted is true or not. That isn't a judgment call on the person who posted it. It could have all been true and posted with the best of intentions, but then again, it could have been posted with intentions of slander or spite. We have no real way of knowing.

We want this board to be something to help the community in terms of promoting safe and responsible behavior, but in most cases this is better served by the writing of more generalized discussions on the various topics related to these ideas. Such essays provide a learning experience for people. They are able to empower themselves through learning how to recognize warning signs that may lead to deception rather than blindly follow direct accusations that point at individual people, which neither the board nor the individuals reading it can really be certain of the validity of.

Thanks,

Mod One

< Message edited by ModeratorOne -- 7/24/2004 4:34:34 AM >

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps/protection - 7/24/2004 1:15:58 PM

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thank You Moderator One,
I understand the concern and know one must be careful. All i can say is the experience was one which will remain with me for sometime. How can one protect themselves is a question id like to put forth>? When one thinks they know someone so well and to only find out this person is not what they claimed. How do others protect themselves ? I am a very honest person, involved for more years then i can count and know that one thing one must have is trust and honesty. One cant put their lives in the hands of others without this. Perhaps me personally trust to easy and just wish to help all. Ive always wanted to open the home in as a safe house for abuse victims and its times like these which myself wonders is posssible. Perhaps the abused is really the abuser in some cases.

Again thank you
shy

(in reply to ModeratorOne)

RE: opps - 7/24/2004 10:43:20 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

I did not see anything saying we could not warn others of predators of any nature.

Can we hear your story without using specifis names? It might help someone else.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps - 7/25/2004 6:26:51 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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i will post if the Moderator agrees to it, i will leave out the names but will include the cities if that is ok.

thank you
shy

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: opps - 7/25/2004 7:00:05 AM

Posts: 935
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I dont mind if the story is posted as long as names and very specific references trying to show who the person is indirectly are not mentioned.

Cities are fine.

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps - 7/25/2004 5:59:43 PM

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/1/2004
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ok let me try to put details to what took place without names.
About 6 months ago started chatting with a girl here who i believed at the time was in South Florida. She stated she was 44. We were talking alot and then all of a sudden it stopped. Then about three months ago she sent me an email telling me she had been in ohio and recently returned to Fla. She was living with a gentleman age in mid 80s she was taking care of. Then afew days later said she was wishing to leave there and find a new home. She gave no reason why, and then quit writing again. Then about a day later said she was leaving because this old man crawled into bed with her nude. I didnt doubt it. she admitted at that time she had been released on parole from prison for a drug charge she served 8 years for. She was leaving going to North Carolina to live with a Dom couple and to be their slave,housekeeper and nanny to their children. I thought ok, she doesnt want to remain in Fl and it is her choice and told her id be her friend . About two weeks after she left she started emailing me stating how unhappy she was and how the man was abusive and his wife was using her as an excuse to get a divorce. Things seemed odd. she then spoke with my Master begging to allow her to come to Him under a training contract. We blew it off. Then she asked to call and cryed to us she was being kicked out and had no place to go. We wired her the money to come and she arrived 3 weeks ago. Right from the start we knew most of what we had heard was not true,starting with her age she was not 44 but 49. She was on parole and had to report to an officer weekly, she had 2 heart attacks and had other major health issues which needed attention as well as MS and walked with a cane. She had mental issues and was unable to tell real from fantasy. She claimed she had been a chef and could cook, which we found she could not. She couldnt remember anything she was told and each time she told about herself the story changed. Now she is out of this house for Master asked her to leave and before she left made her make an appointment with a shrink and call her PO officer here in Boca. There is alot more to it but can not go into it .... Let me just say ive learned not to be so trusting, not to be so wanting to help those in need and cry wolf. This is the second time in the last year we had opened our home to another who needed a place to live. But its hard when you live paycheck to paycheck and have a person come into it, who will not work or states they can not and wants you supporting them. We did not know of this until to late. Never again is all i can say. Replacing things missing is easy, replacing the hurt in the heart is another. That is something not replaced or fixed that easy.

Be careful all
for she is looking already again

thank you
shy

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps - 7/25/2004 6:33:01 PM

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Sounds to me like you didn't listen to your inner radar very well. You say you had doubts about her, yet you still invited her into your home to live? That's extremely generous of you, but perhaps a bit foolhardy. Opening up your home to a stranger is always risky business. You might get lucky, but the risk/reward calculations would likely make me leery of doing it.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps/protection - 7/25/2004 6:54:37 PM

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shy,

How long did she live with you?

January

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps - 7/25/2004 7:08:18 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Thank you for sharing shy. It is so hard to know whom to believe and trust. A very good friend of mine had a son who met a homeless couple in a bar and took them home to feed them a meal. Big mistake--they murdered him and severely injured his wife and robbed them. Fortunately they were caught and convicted. I guess you just can't be too careful.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps - 7/25/2004 10:02:36 PM

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Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

I think you were both very generous to attempt to help another. As you have already stated you will not do this again, I see no reason to whip that dead horse. But I will say, it is always better to try than to years later wonder could I have help sallysub, now you know. You can't save the world, but nice thought. Stay safe, Sundew

_____________________________

~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps - 7/25/2004 10:54:29 PM

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Joined: 7/3/2004
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shylittleheart-
I think that you and your SO should have listened to your gut and watched her behavior. She obviously wasn't stable. I am all about helping others. I volunteer frequently and believe in helping others. I, too, have been burned by people that I was helping and thought were worthy of helping. (worthy- people who are already helping themselves) Very recently, in fact, but I won't go into it. If you're curious, please mail my box. The burning was done by a vanilla person in a vanilla situation.
*sidenote* I think that because we are involved in what is considered (by the vanilla world in general -there are exceptions-) a very different subculture, we feel the need to reach out. I mean, look at all the bald, true, nekkid honesty on these threads. We put ourselves out for others in the subculture.
As Always-
Berlin

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps/protection - 7/26/2004 2:09:56 AM

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January,
She was in Masters home for 3 weeks, The other couple she was with them 4 weeks, the man before that 6 weeks and in a halfway house before that we found out.

We live and we learn next time will just request alot of references...........

thank you for asking everyone

shy

(in reply to January)

RE: opps/protection - 7/26/2004 6:44:55 AM

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Joined: 4/17/2004
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shy,

I'm glad you're going to insist on lots of references from now on. I can understand your disappointment; she sounded like a sponge more than sister.

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps - 7/26/2004 2:31:21 PM

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Someone was claiming the other day. You can't be a victim unless you choose to be a victim.

Very true in this case. You didn't check references. You even felt deep down within yourself something was wrong. Yet you surpressed it. Which only leads me to ask. What did you want out of the whole situation? If you had gotten it, would you still be complaining here about it?

(in reply to shylittleheart)

RE: opps - 7/26/2004 6:01:46 PM

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/1/2004
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well my mistake for not following through but you know sometimes our hearts go out to those in need, that is my fault. I felt sorry for her, big mistake, i admit poor judgement. I must say valuable lesson learned here

shy

(in reply to sub4hire)

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