ZandD
Posts: 59
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
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One of the most common arguments in BDSM discussions is the question of who's practice is the "true" way, the "right" way, the "ethical and moral" way... ad infinitum.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. These discussions can educate, keep people thinking, keep people evolving and most importantly I think, is to keep those who are new from making costly mistakes.
The problem I do have however, is how these discussions tend to cause divisiveness within our community. Your kink may not be my kink, and your way of doing things may not be mine, but truthfully, I am tired of those who pontificate on how "pure" their way is, as well as those who pontificate on what others may be doing is completely, utterly and without question...wrong.
It seems to me that there are those who think that slavery is new. This is obviously not so. Slavery has been around since time immemorial, on every continent, in every ethnicity, in nearly every religion, and in nearly every walk of life, with some execptions. Yet there are those who proclaim that what we practice here in the 21st. century was created by us. People speak as though the current form of BDSM/Domination/submission/slavery is a relatively new concept.
There were slaves before the advent of organized religion who were sacrificed to various and sundry Gods. Egypt's Pharoahs were buried with slaves to serve them in the afterlife. The Roman's had slaves for everything from pure entertainment to fighting their wars. And, of course, there were those slaves who were pampered pets, who got away with behavior that would otherwise not be tolerated from anyone else.
This of course goes on today. Some Dominants prefer to have no emotional attachment to their slave, keep them in cages, care nothing for their health, be it mental, emotional, spiritual or physical. There are slaves who say they need this. Is this a moral issue? For some it is.
There are those Dominants who treat their slaves like valuable property, who take care of them exquisitely. Is this a moral issue? For some it is.
There are more variables in BDSM relationships then I can intelligently discuss here. You will find that most styles are less extreme than those I mentioned above.
It also seems to me that there is much talk on whether one's dominant style is better than anothers, whether one's submission is deeper than anothers, how someone's relationship is more "lifestyle oriented" than others. In essence, there seems to be a lot of competitiveness amongst us kinksters.
I believe that we should stop "eating our young", that we should seek to educate, mentor and lead each other into a cohesive community especially in the light of the recent activity by the US Attorney General's office via the Justice Department. Instead of focusing on what is different amongst us, if we continue to indulge in the same old tired rhetoric on what is wrong with the other guy, we are not focusing on protecting our way of life. We should look to what others do and attempt to see some value in that. Finding common ground rather than standing on the tectonic plates of dissension.
I welcome your comments, please just be kind. I am very sensitive.
D
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