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Thanks for all the Help - 6/8/2008 2:19:38 PM   
peterpan200510


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		I previously posted and got lots of advice and I just want to thank everyone again. I have since explored the vanilla side of relationships and now have come to seek a balance between them. thanks again!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/8/2008 2:24:51 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		It was nothing. Don't mention it. (Evil chuckle...)

But seriously: I perved your profile, and you sound really interesting. I wish you'd flesh it out.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to peterpan200510)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/8/2008 2:32:16 PM   
peterpan200510


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		thanks Dreamerdreaming, okay I will. :)

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/8/2008 7:36:34 PM   
peterpan200510


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		I updated my resume (haha) as you and some others have asked :) Feel free to find faults with it 

(in reply to peterpan200510)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/8/2008 7:44:37 PM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		Dooood.  You're up 35 but still short of expectations. You're underperforming your segment. Target price is 250 words. The market opens in 10 hours. Spin baby.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to peterpan200510)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/8/2008 11:40:19 PM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline 		Ohhhh,  you poor child. You have NO idea of the avalanche you unleash with that offer! If I may offer some constructive critiques.......
First...you're only 26 years old, brand new & totally virgin to any domination & you have a mile-long list of Hard Limits. I PROMISE that you can not know, before trying, that you will HATE all these things!
Second...if you've had no experience, how can you know what you will love so much that you "live for it"? Short answer, you cannot.
Third....finding a Dominatrix with whom you bond & who believes you to be compatible enough to collar is EXACTLY like finding a wife, or even, for that matter, a girlfriend! It takes trial & error. You try, you'll fail; hopefully you'll learn something. You try again, it may last longer, but it may fail after a few months. Hopefully, you'll learn even more. We are homo sapiens & trial & error is how we evolved. It is still the way we learn & probably will remain so.
So, essentially, you've written a profile saying, in essence: I want a lifetime supply of kiwi fruit. I'm absolutely certain that kiwi fruit is the perfect food for me, even though I've never actually seen one in a grocery store or held one or smelled or tasted one. I have seen photos of them & have read about them & I KNOW it's the food I want for the rest of my life. But, hey! mangoes? raspberries? ICCHHHHH!! I've heard about those! Don't ever offer me a damn mango! Ever! I saw a picture of one & it looks absolutely hideous! I know it's got to taste like crap!
I understand that this is sarcastic & probably laying it on thicker than need be. Please, it's meant kindly. Please drop your preconceived absolutes & start networking with real humans with their real lives & foibles & flaws. Meet some of them on this site, chat & then go meet them in person over coffee or a beer. Go get involved with your local Munches; volunteer to help man a table & print nametags or something. Get to know the kinky people in your community & let them introduce themselves & get to know you. Learn how this lifestyle really works in all it's glorious diversity.

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to peterpan200510)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/9/2008 12:34:42 AM   
peterpan200510


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		:) thanks for the advice TC and EvilKitty. Evil Kitty you've written an essay. I understand the kiwi fruit example, and I guess I need a first partner, a first supplier of fruit if you will, who will initiate me and help me explore (perhaps slowly). About bdsm munchies, firstly given my large number of hard limits, am I really in bdsm? its like a grey area between bdsm and vanilla perhaps? Secondly, I want to meet one person and if I get more comfortable then meet a whole bunch of people. Right now I can't imagine walking into a bdsm hangout, I'd feel really embarrassed and wouldn't fit in for sure. From what I hear, there are all kinds of wacko people. Even here, I clearly stated I am straight and looking for a female dominant and yet get messaged by male doms.. and here at least I can just block it out and still feel unpleasant while in real life it would be really really unpleasant and distasteful.



(in reply to EvilKitty)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/9/2008 1:14:06 AM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline 		As a domme, I respect a submissive's hard limits. They are normally things like: No Scat, No Bestiality, No Pedophaelia.
But, so MANY of the things you list as hard limits are SO MUCH FUN!! Just to start with, CBT is freaking awesome & there's a really good probability that you'd love it! A LOT! If you like have your genitalia played with, then you have the capability of having some serious fun! It frequently gets paired up with orgasm control. Wax play can be sooothing as all get out! So can plastic wrap. But how will you know?
I don't like to sound mean; but I am very straightforward. The list of hard limits that you put in your profile will probably put off 99.9% of all female dominants on the planet, & that's being optomistic on my part.
May I recommend some reading on your part? "SM101" by Jay Wiseman is an excellent place to begin. Google it, order it, read it cover to cover & then reread it a few times.
Yeah, I do tend to stay up too late & write too much. Strong maternal streak that I tend to exercise on my subs & my spouse, but occasionally spill over when someone asks what seems to be an honest question.

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to peterpan200510)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/9/2008 1:24:37 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Agrees with Evilkitty. There are more hard limits there than anything else!!

Personally, I want my slave to be into body worship (mine of course) and he'd better do more than tolerate housework. But that's just me.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to EvilKitty)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/9/2008 1:30:51 AM   
peterpan200510


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		Evil Kitty thanks so much for your mentorship, I am glad and happy to learn. I understand that in the end I will be shaped by my dominant partner, and will in all probability like what she wants me to like. this was my attempt to describe wht I presently like and presently don't like. I will modify my hard limits with your advice. thanks again and thanks Miss Magnolia

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/9/2008 1:43:58 AM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline 		 Yeah, "hard limits" means, "I will never try this, don't even ask me, because it WILL break us up." It may also mean, "I tried that once or twice & still hated it. It totally turned me off." 
For example: I see a lot of subs put down things like "knife play" & "fire play" under hard limits, but they've never actually had someone try it out on them. It just sounds too scary or dangerous or too painful, so they're sure they'd hate it. Just like flogging, knife & fire play can be done safely, lightly & carefully & cause little to no actual pain.

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to peterpan200510)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Thanks for all the Help - 6/9/2008 4:31:45 AM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		This. This is what should go in your profile. It's thoughtful and authentic. It's sincere and well thought-out. It's a window inside your head making you a little vulnerable and a throwing a little light on who you are and what you want.

It's spelled correctly.

In short, it's gold. Incorporate this into your profile and you'll be well on and above the curve.



quote:

ORIGINAL: peterpan200510

:) thanks for the advice TC and EvilKitty. Evil Kitty you've written an essay. I understand the kiwi fruit example, and I guess I need a first partner, a first supplier of fruit if you will, who will initiate me and help me explore (perhaps slowly). About bdsm munchies, firstly given my large number of hard limits, am I really in bdsm? its like a grey area between bdsm and vanilla perhaps? Secondly, I want to meet one person and if I get more comfortable then meet a whole bunch of people. Right now I can't imagine walking into a bdsm hangout, I'd feel really embarrassed and wouldn't fit in for sure. From what I hear, there are all kinds of wacko people. Even here, I clearly stated I am straight and looking for a female dominant and yet get messaged by male doms.. and here at least I can just block it out and still feel unpleasant while in real life it would be really really unpleasant and distasteful.





_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to peterpan200510)
Profile   Post #: 12
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