RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. (Full Version)

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jim64 -> RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. (6/17/2008 9:41:06 PM)

I have to agree with you.We do not have sex to be connected to our BDSM life. We are monogamous and so do not include others in our sex life. Our sex life is fun, but does not always include S/M.

As a sub/bottom, i might find someone sexually attractive, yet having a scene with them does not turn me on.(OK, that might  turn me on a bit more .) I enjoy the pain/pleasure!

jim64




TwoNYCDommes -> RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. (6/18/2008 1:14:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boyforyouruse
Would you be interested in dominating or being dominated by someone that is either: A) Not compatible with you sexually (ie. lesbian dominant and male submissive), or B) Compatible with you sexually but you're not sexually interseted in? (ie hetro dominant female and hetro male submissive, but one or both are not sexually attracted to each other)


Absolutely.  Sexual attraction is not at all a necessary component of compatibility for a scene--or even a D/s relationship--for me.  Sex and BDSM can go well together, but are in no way inseparable.  The idea of dominating someone whose orientation makes them uninterested in me sexually (i.e. a straight woman or a gay man) actually has a unique appeal because they would be serving me for a reason other than the usual.




TwoNYCDommes -> RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. (6/18/2008 1:29:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
For Me, the non-sexual encounters (I know someone's going to have a field day with that, but I mean it as sex between two people isn't going to happen) that I have with those I play casually with, doesn't mean there's not a connection.  There's a difference in My book between sexual and intimacy.   

I completely agree. 
I can have shallow, connectionless scenes with subs to whom I am strongly attracted, and I can have deep, meaningful scenes with those to who I am not at all attracted sexually.  Connection and attraction are independent of each other, for me.




DesFIP -> RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. (6/18/2008 4:06:16 PM)

I'm monogamous. Thus that scenario would mean I'd be without sex. Since play is very sexual to me, I'd also be without that. What that leaves is pure service and since I'm not service oriented, there isn't any way such a relationship would meet my needs at all. Or the top's, for that matter.

However I can see a masochist having a part time relationship with a sadist as long as they're both willing to open the relationship.




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