Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 5:22:26 PM)


I'm getting older (sigh) and my clients are getting more conservative as I find myself in a few niches lately.  I'm consulting with a group of extremely conservative, male dominated groups (think extremely conservative corporate attorneys or high end academics) and surrounded by such conservative styles of dress that my head boggles.  The couple of women I have encountered, all older, dress even more conservatively than their male partners.  I have a pretty nice conservative corporate wardrobe, but to be honest, my style is a little more edgy than that - never unappropriate, never nasty, never too sexualized.  But I like sexy, cute shoes now and then, or boots, and may enjoy wearing a little more makeup or styling my hair in a more fashionable way.

I have to think the men in these uber-conservative worlds are not blind to "kink chic" and can appreciate it, so long as it's not unprofessional. However, I don't like to bring a wrong impression into a board room.  I guess my question is this - for men who work in VERY conservative industries, you KNOW when you see a woman in a conservative business suit with a little "something" extra (ie, black patent leather boots - NICE ones, not trampy go-go boots) and you "get it." But do your business peers say things like, "that's a little over the top," or do you sense the lady is losing some credibility if they don't know her?

For ladies -- do you ever bring your own personality and flair to extremely conservative business situations in a non-risky way, or do you stick to super safe? 


Akasha



leadership527 -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 6:03:29 PM)

OK, perhaps not fair since the computer industry is hardly "conservative"... I did spend some time in the telcos though and they are, in many respects dinosaurs in terms of corporate culture.  In general, neither myself nor my peers ever made [in my hearing] any snide remarks about a woman wearing a business suit who happened to have a little extra sex-appeal tucked into it somewhere or another.  That pretty much comes out as "she's pretty", not "she's a tramp".  There were, however, a great number of jokes about women who dressed in micro-mini's and sheer blouses.  From your description, hard as it is to judge these sorts of things via text, I'd say you're fine.



chicagoswitch -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 6:11:35 PM)

I am a female executive in one of the industries you mentioned.  I like to add a little "edge" every now and then.  There is nothing like showing up for court in a conservative suit and 4 1/2 inch patent leather stilettos.....yum.  If you show it through accessories and not skin (low cut or short skirt) and have the brains and confidence to pull it off, you will be fine.



flower2007 -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 6:13:51 PM)

I work for a fairly conservative, male dominated company.  No, we don't wear suits on a daily basis, but I typically wear one when dealing with my customers overseas.  And it's funny you mention boots, because that's generally what I wear with a suit.  It's not sexy or sleazy at all, just classy, if the pants are hemmed correctly.  I suspect that even if I wore them with a knee length skirt, I'd be ok.  It's edgy, but not too much and if I wear something like that, I tone down the makeup (not that I wear much anyway). I think that's the key, only have one thing about you that might not be as conservative...shoes, jewelry, makeup, but not all at once.
But I'm also in my 20's, so maybe I can get away with that. I don't know.



DesFIP -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 6:23:44 PM)

I would imagine that shoes and boots are the things you could most likely be more edgy with simply because there's a belief that all women are crazy about shoes. As long as everything else is of excellent taste, people will just assume you're another shoe collector.



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 6:33:58 PM)

I used to feel the same way..  On one hand, I wanted all eyes on me and to be desired by everyone in the room..  I never showed too much skin.. My suits were tailored and hugged me in all the right places.. 
However I did have that worry about losing credibility.. Like if I looked desirable the men would want me and the women would dislike me. 
I think I still have that worry to this day. I went on an interview the other day and kept changing my clothes so I would look more conservative, less sexual..
So when it comes right down to it I guess I try to stay on the less risky side of things..  When I am able to become Alexis Carrington though.. All bets are off..



floridaslavetobe -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 6:40:54 PM)

BSB,

i am not sure how You could make Yourself look less sexy, but go ahead and try the rest of us sane people know better.  i think You could make a burlap sack look sexy!!



Photozenic -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 7:00:35 PM)

I've never seen anyone who does this have a problem with it, as long as you followed the rules as above (not flashing too much skin, etc).  I doubt a leather skirt would fly, but tall shoes and boots can be written off easily enough by those who are a little more on the conservative side.

The key word in all of this is tasteful.



MaamJay -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 7:05:11 PM)

I tend to dress fairly conservatively ... and per Master's orders, always in skirts! However where I let loose is with My hair. It's an asymmetric style (that was really "out there" when My hairdresser first hit on it years ago ... now everyone else has caught on it seems) ... always neatly combed as I can't stand the fuzzy just pulled out of bed look ... just the wild bright purple and red streaks in it shock people LOL! I'll never forget the first time I had it done, just before I attended a conference which I have attended annually for some years so know most people there well. I walked into the lecture theatre and there was just this collective intake of breath! Awesome [:D] One of My bosses (at a very conservative govt body) used to go on about it ... so I explained it was to ensure people were looking at My head and face while I was talking to them instead of at My rack! She shut up (well no one would want to look at either her face or her rack or lack thereof!). It's lost a bit of its shock value these days of course, but I still love it.

Akasha, You always come across as a very classy lady, so I can't imagine You doing otherwise at work. And I bet there's more than 1 guy dreaming "i wish!" Little does he know! [;)]

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



KnightofMists -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 7:05:32 PM)

frankly... Her ability to do the job is much more noticable than what she is wearing... but what she is wearing could be seen in a derogatory manner if she lacks the ability to do the job.



underworld026 -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 8:20:10 PM)

Yea, I don't think men would be as harsh about it, as women would be.



cantilena -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 8:48:22 PM)

I'm in an extremely conservative industry and even there, corporate America is loosening up just a bit, even on the executive floors.

I'd echo the other thoughts here - one item a little bit edgy is A-OK, just not all at the same time. A lot can also depend on your current position in the company.  A rising star can get away with a bit more than staff.  Executives have a great deal of freedom in actual practise.  If you're on the brink of something bigger, I'd play it safer than if you're firmly established or rising fast.  There's something about being in a spotlight with other candidates for promotion where you do run the risk of losing credibility if you dress 'younger' or 'fashionista'.  Otherwise, it's not really that big a deal.  In other words, "Jane The Talented Maybe She's Management", has less leeway than "Jane The Talented Sr. Vice President of X".

Very stylish shoes are almost always okay.  Boots are not even a consideration - no problem at all.  (Maybe not the super-hot Dior ones with the million buckles up the front, but you get what I mean.)

Another thing to think about is your calendar for the day.  Meeting with clients or with very senior management may call for adhering to more or mostly conservative attire.  On the other hand, if you're just going to be in the office attending general meetings or with your staff, you can probably afford to create a more unique style - again within the confines of good taste.

These days, defining your own style can work well in almost any industry - if not all of them. 

Oh.... Money Helps.  Very expensive, equisitely tailored fashion looks impeccable regardless of skirt length or heel height.  The kicker is that you absolutely must have the confidence, position and authority to pull it off.

Good luck. :)



Lynnxz -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 9:09:54 PM)

A well tailored pencil skirt is always nice in my opinion. It's sexy, but there's no real reason anyone can say anything about them.



firefey -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 10:06:35 PM)

back seam stockings.  nuff said.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/13/2008 11:21:28 PM)

In my experience it is less the clothes than the skin, flashing thighs and decalage is tacky and looks tawdry.  Pencil skirts are great, as are seamed stockings although that is a bit edgy.  I am sure your stuff is tailored AAkasha but that does make a huge difference, tight stuff that isn't tailored in a high end environment is a no-no.

White button up blouse, not too loose, not too tight, a grey herringbone skirt with seamed stockings and boots would drive the ones who know insane and yet look highly  professional.  Hell, it would drive me nuts.

First time I met BSB I had her wear a business suit, I almost passed out when I saw her strutting through the terminal...OH MY FUCKING GOD was she glorious.  Well dressed women drive me nuts, and I am sure I am not alone.



littlesarbonn -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/14/2008 12:42:19 AM)

I'll be blunt about it. I've worked in some very conservative circles, and when a woman has broken the tend of dressing conservatively by adding something like black leather boots (which happens more often than people realize, but it really only noticed by those of us who happen to be attracted to it), the men around me tend to start saying things like "Who's the slut over there?" When I went to a conference once with a female colleague, she was somewhat unorthodox in the way she dressed, adding a bit of kinkish nature to her ensemble, but nothing outrageous, I had all sorts of men I hardly even knew coming up to me asking questions about her, seeing if I could set them up with her, pretty much thinking she had to be easy because she was dressed in a sexual manner at a conservative function, even if it was slightly less conservative than everyone else.

I don't know how it is in all of the mediums of this nature, but I do know that in a number of circles where I've traveled (military, education and health care business) it's amazing how a slight change of attire changes impressions about women by the men who are gathered around. I'm surprised how often I see it happen. Then again, I guess I'm not really all that surprised.



shivermetimbers -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/14/2008 2:23:47 AM)

Well, I'm a Registered Nurse, so I don't exactly fit into a corporate mold.  Some nurses will wear the white uniform pants, and have on thongs, that's a bit edgy (and against dress code).  The only time anyone will start thinking it's "over the top" is when the thong is such a color to really stand out.  I've seen gold, red, and black thongs on nurses, male and female, and when they go that route, I just have to shake my head and think, "okay, we're looking. Are you satisfied now?"  Those that keep to the white or very light grey colors, it's a bit edgy and against policy, but nothing is said, simply because it's not in your face, and you really have to be looking hard to notice.  It's the " I wanna be a Vegas stripper" types that get busted, and lose credibility.



trav608 -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/14/2008 8:18:33 AM)

for my money, the high heeled boots are uber hot, and stockings with the line in back - and sometimes the way Condalisa Rice dresses - classy and kind of Dom - and hello all - I am sort of new



cantilena -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/14/2008 9:20:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
the men around me tend to start saying things like "Who's the slut over there?"


"Uh...Well.... Joe... see... that's the head of our division."

IME, guys who say such things about a professionally dressed, but smartly chic woman (and yeah, they're everywhere) tend to be... well... junior.  Junior and just maybe a tad frustrated about that too.



AAkasha -> RE: Business women dressing a little dominatrix chic... (6/14/2008 11:21:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cantilena


IME, guys who say such things about a professionally dressed, but smartly chic woman (and yeah, they're everywhere) tend to be... well... junior.  Junior and just maybe a tad frustrated about that too.


I would have to agree here.  The responses I have received from a few professional peers and most of the ones here have been largely positive, and the question is whether or not it might make a conservative professional question the professionalism of the lady -- not whether he behaves like a high school jock with a boner.  The response you were commenting on sounded fictionalized to me, or was based on college kids, not millionaire-level, extremely successfuly corporate men.

Akasha



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