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nelbot -> RE: Emotional blackmail (11/2/2005 8:17:54 AM)
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I get what you are asking Myo, I get this sort of stuff from time to time, they think of themself as your Master when they want something but start to ask questions or want information and suddenly its 'Well I'm testing you to see if you are sub enough for me, a real slave wouldn't need to know that or a true slave should just accept.' Or some similar bs.
Myo remember one very important thing: this is your gift and the most important thing you can do is to give it wisely. It is possibly the last and most important choice you have to make. Just as he is evaluating your fitness to serve him, so should you be evaluating his worthiness and fitness to be your Master. You must ask the tough questions now because if you sign yourself away to something you don't understand you will deserve anything you get. More than that, your gift of yourself will be empty and less worthy if you give it away to any yahoo that revs your hormones and starts throwing their Domly weight around. Your gift will mean more if the Master you give it to knows that you chose him above all others to give yourself to and that you do so with full knowledge and understanding. Do not let yourself be robbed of your power- yes even as a sub you have power and especially worth. Stand your ground, the real Master's will respect your submission more if you give it conscientiously and wisely, it makes you no less of a submissive or a slave to wait to give that submission to the right person no matter what the players say- I know the need as a sub to please everyone but you have to ask yourself if it really matters, you will never be able to please everyone the trick is to find the one person (or for some subs, the right series of people) on whom to concentrate their efforts. Only the players are looking for a doormat that will fall and fawn at their feet just because they say to. Do not forget it is a two way street! When you give yourself to your Master you are accepting his vision for your service as your own, his desires as your own. Can you logically be expected to accept that without knowing what you are accepting? Perhaps some will say yes, but what do you think the chances are of that relationship being sucessful? No more so than any vanilla relationship in which the people are led by their hormones and don't address the important issues; and how does that sort of communication bode well for the open communication and trust that you need to develop in a relationship of this nature? Can you trust someone that will manipulate your emotions for their own instant gratification, especially when that instant gratification jeopardizes the greater relationship?
Be well honey and contact me off list if you would like to chat more. Sometimes just having someone to bounce these feelings off and listen can boost your confidance. Remeber your submission is a gift and a special one at that, do not cheapen it by letting someone get away with the emotional black mail gambit, hold strong and you (and me both) will someday find a Master that will be fit to accept our gifts and we will be proud to give them. It's like saving your virginity for your wedding ;)
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