RE: for those of You with female subs

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: for those of You with female subs

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: for those of You with female subs

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: for those of You with female subs - 11/3/2005 11:04:10 AM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xlanadreamsx

What do You do when she is menstruating? Does it change Your approach towards her at all?

Why would it?

~J

(in reply to xlanadreamsx)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: for those of You with female subs - 11/3/2005 11:59:08 AM

Soulhuntre

Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
I just wish Masters could experience this once. For many of us the achs and pains are not minor. The emotional mood swings are hard to control.

I didn't say it was minor for you, or for everyone. However it is by definition minor for someone in my service because they woudl not be in my service if it was major. I simply would not accept into service someone who was severly debilitated by their period or who was subject to uncrontrollable mood swings as a result of it. Such a person would have the option to use the various contraceptives that mitigate or terminate that cycle or they woudl not be allowed to serve.

Obviously my relationship dynamics are not common. I consider service to be exactly that - service. It's a job for many intents and purposes. A physical or mental condition that meant someone coudln't do the job would mean they don't get the job.

On the flip side I find the issue interesting as a whole - some women will almost universally condemn anyone who says they are subject to mood swings due to their cycle when it suits them (jsut cause I am a woman doesn't mean I am unstable!) and then when it suits them it seems to be OK to demand consideration and sympathy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Of course some cultures used to isolate women during their menstural cycle in a women only

And if you go to "MichFest" youc an find the "menstrual hut", usually right next to the "crying tent" and the "hug room". It's all rather amusing.

(in reply to IronBear)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: for those of You with female subs - 11/3/2005 12:20:13 PM

MasterTalion

Posts: 19
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

One thing I'd like to add here also -

my sub has severe emotional swings during her menstruation - sometimes light, sometimes very bad - it depends on the month, and her stress level.

I personally treat her with a dom kid-gloves for these few days, and let it pass. I do take advantage of oral and anal a lot more often during these days, if she's not completely depressed or emotionally drained and tired out from it. however, a caring Master/Dom will be understanding with his subs, and realize that this is completely natural, to different degrees. He should know his sub well enough to know what to expect, and how to handle her. If he can't take it, then he either doesn't care, or shouldn't have her.

~ Master Talion

(in reply to Soulhuntre)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: for those of You with female subs - 11/3/2005 12:37:03 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

On the flip side I find the issue interesting as a whole - some women will almost universally condemn anyone who says they are subject to mood swings due to their cycle when it suits them (jsut cause I am a woman doesn't mean I am unstable!) and then when it suits them it seems to be OK to demand consideration and sympathy.

Soulhuntre

This reminds me of the famous "would you want a woman president with the button to launch nuclear missles while she had her period" argument.

i think i suffer from PMS; i feel a rise in libido about a week before my period, and the first day, i'm in much pain and feel quite irritable. i never sought medical attention for these symptoms; it seemed just part of being female. These days are different; i have no idea where i am in respect to menopause (another set of hormonal changes) and still am surprised by a period just when i think surely i must be menopausal.

This is what i desire from a Dom or Master: first, an acceptance/knowledgability as to my "condition"; second, a sense that i am respected as a person despite the "condition"; third; support during the times i am symptomatic. Making love/playing more when my "blood is up"; providing me with comfort when i am irritable; knowing all the time that this is both natural and transitory.

The method of birth control now available which completely eliminates the menstrual cycle is untested as to its impact on a woman's fertility; and MD's will not keep a woman on it for more than a set amount of time...i believe it's two years. After that it's back to the means of birth control which do not prevent a period. There is also conflicting -- and inconclusive -- data suggesting that supressing periods may cause uterine cancer..

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/36/1728_55579.htm

www.webmd.com

i know, as a college girl in the '70's, the first generation to have the Pill; we never considered that it might render us infertile. i had to have help to conceive my kid, and it took two years. i feel that this is due to the fact that, when first introduced, the Pill was a heavy dose of ingredients. Research since then has found that much lower level of effective ingredients will still prevent pregnancy....at least 99% of the time.

You do not say anything about wanting children, but all i can say is that i feel women still get substandard care regarding their sexuality and reproductive health compared to men. i would think a Dom or Master, having collared a submissive or slave, would educate Himself on at least the rudiments of the various changes women experience as part and parcel of their emotional/sexual being.

i do not say all this as criticism of You; rather, i hope to provoke some thinking on Your part. The women who serve You are not Stepford Wives (i hope that reference is not too old) and need Your understanding; informed and compassionate understanding.

So, returning to Your point; yes, women resent having being dismissed as thinking people by the phrase "she must be on the rag". By the same token, we are physical/sexal beings, and do experience life a bit differently than men do...so an attempt to breach that gulf and understand is a respectful, compassionate Man's obligation IMO.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/3/2005 12:38:39 PM >

(in reply to Soulhuntre)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: for those of You with female subs - 11/3/2005 7:18:29 PM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Soulhuntre

No, not really. Physically it means that for a few days I use her mouth and ass more maybe but I am pretty anal oriented so that isn't much of a problem.

Minor aches / paines are not an issue - she does her job anyway. Hormonal / attitude problems are simply not tolerated, so she controls them.

Ditto.

(in reply to Soulhuntre)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: for those of You with female subs - 11/4/2005 7:55:26 AM

Webmaster60

Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

What do You do when she is menstruating? Does it change Your approach towards her at all?

Not in the LEAST. well actually it does modify clothing requirements, and excercise requirements, but other than that, no.

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to xlanadreamsx)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: for those of You with female subs - 11/4/2005 8:27:55 AM

Soulhuntre

Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
This reminds me of the famous "would you want a woman president with the button to launch nuclear missles while she had her period" argument.

I know some women who want to have it both ways - they want to argue that their PMS makes their mood swings outside of their control but insist that I not treat them as erratic or unreliable based ont he calendar.

You don't get to have it both ways. Either you can control yourself or you cannot. If you can, then I will expect you to do so. if you claimt hat you cannot then I will treat you as unreliable during that period.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
This is what i desire from a Dom or Master: first, an acceptance/knowledgability as to my "condition"; second, a sense that i am respected as a person despite the "condition"; third; support during the times i am symptomatic. Making love/playing more when my "blood is up"; providing me with comfort when i am irritable; knowing all the time that this is both natural and transitory.

There are plenty of people who will be happy to provide such a environment. I don't happen to be one of them. I no more intend to deal with such things in a servant than I would expect my Sensei at my Dojo to just deal with the fact that I am in a bad mood.

I fully understand that my standards in this regard are firmly in the minority.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
The method of birth control now available which completely eliminates the menstrual cycle is untested as to its impact on a woman's fertility; and MD's will not keep a woman on it for more than a set amount of time...i believe it's two years.

Yup. Yous pend time on, then you spend time off. Some people would prefer not to use it at all and others still have some PMS symptoms. I simply mentioned it as one technique someone who was otherwise unfit for >my< service might try and control their issue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
You do not say anything about wanting children, but all i can say is that i feel women still get substandard care regarding their sexuality and reproductive health compared to men.

Your cetainly welcome to your opinion. I don;t agree, but this is certainly not the forum for such a debate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i would think a Dom or Master, having collared a submissive or slave, would educate Himself on at least the rudiments of the various changes women experience as part and parcel of their emotional/sexual being.

Two responses - the first is I have. The second is that I don't see why it would be required. Their proper function in service is their requirement and responsability. I don;t expect my employer to have to be intimately knowldgable about my health.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i do not say all this as criticism of You; rather, i hope to provoke some thinking on Your part. The women who serve You are not Stepford Wives (i hope that reference is not too old) and need Your understanding; informed and compassionate understanding.

You're concern is touching but entirely misplaced. What my girls need is what they get - what they chose and why they serve. There are standards, they are expected and inspired to achieve and maintain those standards. That is what they needed, it is what they get.

Your concern does however illustrate the issue very well... I am entirely unclear as to why not allowing people with non-debilitating forms of PMS to behave in a substandard manner is somehow the same thing as not caring about them. Has the culture of excuses really manage to gain that much power?

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
So, returning to Your point; yes, women resent having being dismissed as thinking people by the phrase "she must be on the rag". By the same token, we are physical/sexal beings, and do experience life a bit differently than men do...so an attempt to breach that gulf and understand is a respectful, compassionate Man's obligation IMO.

Either you can control yourself, can be trusted and can be considered to rise above your biology or not. It's really pretty simple. If you (generic you) want sympathy you have it. But if you (generic) want a "by" on having to perform? You don't have a built in excuse.

(in reply to candystripper)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: for those of You with female subs - 11/8/2005 5:47:30 AM

SoulBelow

Posts: 30
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

My master uses my mouth when I'm on my period. He avoids giving me too much pain apart from the odd ass slap. As for mood swings, I do as I'm told and I wouldn't dare cheek him, I have too much respect for him so if I feel irritated or grumpy I asked to be tied in the corner til I feel better.

(in reply to OrlandoMars)

Profile

Post #: 28