Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hear about it?

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Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hear ab... - 6/16/2008 6:32:05 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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In a previous thread (about being attracted to men in "power") we got to talking about the idea that "capability" is a turn on (I am not sure who selected those words, but they are ideal). It doesn't matter what he is "capable" in, but having a man be adept at something, skilled, confident, etc. seems to be universally attractive to dominant women. It got me thinking to early exchanges with potential partners and how having them speak in/about an area in which they are capable does impact my perception of them - it DOES make them more attractive. Is this universal?

The question is this -- how can a submissive man speak about his "capability" in a manner that is not out of place? For example, in his profile, should a submissive touch on a hobby, skill, professional thing that he is "capable" in, and talk about it in a manner that shows this - without being perceived as simply bragging?

And to that end -- "bragging" -- how can a submissive man convey his "capability" (which we femdoms seem to pick up in our radar) in a manner that does not come across as arrogant? Or, is a little arrogance ok? Do submissives feel that they cannot be humble and be capable (advertise their capability, that is) at the same time?

Submissives, talk about what you are very *capable* at ...might as well practice here...is it a skill, a sport? What could you *teach* a femdom in a fun setting - something that you have extreme confidence in?

Akasha

_____________________________

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Post #: 1

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 7:50:45 PM

submale4u2spank

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline

I wouldn't mind teaching a domme how to submit.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 2

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 8:00:33 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

Well, I'm a huge nerd, and so is Mistress, but She's been busy with school and work for so long. I'm looking forward to getting Her back into table-top and computer gaming again. Huzzah for Super Smash Bros. Brawl team mode!

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

Post #: 3

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 8:12:47 PM

bobipanti

Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

Very interesting. Yes, I am quite handy around the house with electrical, plumbing, and minor wood work. I'm an excellent driver with a great sense of direction; I instruct golf quite well, especially with women. Truly, I am not bragging-just the facts mam. As a trans sub I feel I should be proud of what I can do for a Mistress and should be able to state my capabilities.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 4

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 8:15:36 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

I don't think there's anything wrong at all with a submissive being talented in some area or another and realizing that. I also don't think there's anything wrong with the submissive knowing something that the Dominant does not. If a submissive was to know how to rollerskate, for example, and the Dominant did not...then the submissive really shouldn't worry about being offensive by stating that they know how to and that it'd perhaps be something fun for the Dominant to learn. The submissive is being an asset. The Dominant could gain a lot of enjoyment out of learning something that's ultimately very simple. Unless the submissive made it seem like that they were the only person in the world who could do it and that they were someow superior because of it, I really don't see how it could be seen as bragging.

I'm very good at a multitude of things. So is my Owner. We just happen to be good at different things and we always managed to learn from one another as a result. I think this is one of the most wonderful things about our relationship. As I always seem to quote, it does say in the Bible, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

DV's Fox

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 5

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 8:20:50 PM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I think that being accomplished shows that you are more than a one trick pony.. I for one am happy to have someone who can do things and perhaps teach me ie: Indian cooking I love to cook and sub who can teach me a new skill in the kitchen would have my attention..

I dont think its bragging to say ... here are my skill sets..can you use them as well as my nicely toned ass

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 6

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 8:47:08 PM

AllietheKitten

Posts: 115
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

I know when Netizen and I first met face-to-face I was profoundly attracted to the fact that he was knowledgeable about computer programming (he's a Computer Science major). When I got him talking about it his eyes lit and he ceased to be shy and self-effacing. I think, in that moment, I met the *real* him behind his nerves. I think that conversation was really the key to getting to know him-once he'd gained some confidence we were able to talk for hours like old friends. I know that I went home the night after we met desiring him to be Mine. I don't think I would have if he's remind quiet and submissive. I purposely tried to draw him out of his shell, to see what he was really capable of.

I am still deeply impressed by Netizen's capability in his chosen field. I could never be with a man that wasn't intelligent or didn't have a sense of humor. Those are absolute deal breakers for me. I count myself extremely lucky to have found both.

_____________________________

I don't believe in Destiny
Or the guiding hand of Fate
I don't believe in forever
of love as a mystical state
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance
We can find someone to love and make it last.
~Rush

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

Post #: 7

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 9:33:06 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn
Indian cooking

Here is my recipe. You put whatever you want to eat in a pot. Then you add a bunch of red chilli powder and few peppers for good measure. Then you cook it for a while. Then you add some more red chilli power and a few more peppers. It's best served hot. It's best not to wear make-up while you eat because you don't want that stuff dripping in your food.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

Post #: 8

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 9:35:21 PM

needDomme

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline

I know a lot about the technical aspects of photography. I could teach that to a Domme and still maintain my submissive/slave status. It's a matter of "how" not "what."

need

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 9

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/16/2008 9:47:40 PM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

In a previous thread (about being attracted to men in "power") we got to talking about the idea that "capability" is a turn on (I am not sure who selected those words, but they are ideal). It doesn't matter what he is "capable" in, but having a man be adept at something, skilled, confident, etc. seems to be universally attractive to dominant women. It got me thinking to early exchanges with potential partners and how having them speak in/about an area in which they are capable does impact my perception of them - it DOES make them more attractive. Is this universal?

The question is this -- how can a submissive man speak about his "capability" in a manner that is not out of place? For example, in his profile, should a submissive touch on a hobby, skill, professional thing that he is "capable" in, and talk about it in a manner that shows this - without being perceived as simply bragging?

And to that end -- "bragging" -- how can a submissive man convey his "capability" (which we femdoms seem to pick up in our radar) in a manner that does not come across as arrogant? Or, is a little arrogance ok? Do submissives feel that they cannot be humble and be capable (advertise their capability, that is) at the same time?

Submissives, talk about what you are very *capable* at ...might as well practice here...is it a skill, a sport? What could you *teach* a femdom in a fun setting - something that you have extreme confidence in?

Akasha

he should speak up politely, i always do that, it may have cost me partners in the past, but i am not shy about what i can bring to a relationship. It's all a matter of form and the proper use of language. Yes, i can 'brag' about how i can be a "work at home" boi who does IT contracts, and can do the laundry & ironing between meetings, but that is not it. It's a skill, not a sport, to take care of Her. Um, to teach Her. maybe my gardening skills? i am not being flip here, Ms. Akasha, only honest.

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 10

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 1:54:23 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

There's nothing I hate worse than struggling with something and having someone watch that struggle...then when I'm good and mad about it, say, "Can I do that for you? I'm a (insert relevant technical title)." Fucker. Why didn't you say that 5 hours ago? Idiot. Damnit. Go home.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 11

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 2:51:52 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
In a previous thread (about being attracted to men in "power") we got to talking about the idea that "capability" is a turn on (I am not sure who selected those words, but they are ideal). It doesn't matter what he is "capable" in, but having a man be adept at something, skilled, confident, etc. seems to be universally attractive to dominant women. It got me thinking to early exchanges with potential partners and how having them speak in/about an area in which they are capable does impact my perception of them - it DOES make them more attractive. Is this universal?

The question is this -- how can a submissive man speak about his "capability" in a manner that is not out of place? For example, in his profile, should a submissive touch on a hobby, skill, professional thing that he is "capable" in, and talk about it in a manner that shows this - without being perceived as simply bragging?

And to that end -- "bragging" -- how can a submissive man convey his "capability" (which we femdoms seem to pick up in our radar) in a manner that does not come across as arrogant? Or, is a little arrogance ok? Do submissives feel that they cannot be humble and be capable (advertise their capability, that is) at the same time?

Submissives, talk about what you are very *capable* at ...might as well practice here...is it a skill, a sport? What could you *teach* a femdom in a fun setting - something that you have extreme confidence in?

Akasha

I consider myself a jack-of-all-trades. I'm handy around the house as I can do basic repairs or maintenance like if a faucet is dripping, I can replace the washers or o-rings and even replace the entire faucet, if necessary. I can do carpentry (nothing big like building a house), but I can build shelving, cabinets, assemble furniture, and things like that. I can also do welding in a pinch. I think I'm an excellent cook and baker, and I know my way around the kitchen pretty well. I'm kind of a techno-geek, so I can figure out how to fix minor computer problems on both PCs and Macs, and can operate and teach someone how to use nearly any other electronic device in the house. I can do basic car mantenance and some more complex jobs like brake jobs, along with detailing a car.

When it comes to sports, I was a four-sport athlete in high school and college and I'm pretty athletic in general, so I feel I could teach Mistress the basics of football, basketball, baseball, and volleyball should She want to learn. I also play golf, but I'm not too good at it...I can talk a good game, though. LOL

All in all, I'm generally pretty handy to have around should Mistress ever request my assistance.

One final thought...I can also do a great job at speed-lacing boots, corset lacing, and polishing latex to a mirror-like finish.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 12

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 4:55:32 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I always want to know, in this type of relationship, what someone is bringing to the table -- I can let them know my capabilities.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 13

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 5:24:17 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

i can take a motorcycle that's been sitting outside for a decade and strip it to the frame in two hours with a bucket full of hand tools and a cinder block... Not sure what that's worth in Mistressing terms, but it sure does make a mess of the yard

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 14

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 5:25:59 AM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

From the 'Nilla perspective, being accomplished and confident is a widespread (perhaps universal) source of attraction. I don't know if such capability translates to a D/s dynamic or is just a something that underlies all relationships.

The 'Nilla Ms. is quite capable, highly-educated and technically adept, and successfully manages a large professional staff. (It is a hoot for me to go to the holiday party as are always a few folks that are genuinely frightened of Her.) Wherever She goes, She is what is happening.

What do I have to offer? I can do anything. I will not do electrical work in the distribution panel or on 220 circuits and I will not work on delivering gas to or venting exhaust from appliances.

Cook? Yes. Clean? Yes. Laundry? All week long. Assist the children with their homework, piano lessons, edit and proof proposals, marketing material or other material for the Mrs.? Yes. Mail merges for all the social and philanthropic organizations? Yes. Perform scutwork for the various functions associated with said organizations? Yes.

If the checkbook can be a force multiplier I'm smart enough to delegate.

There is a scene in the movie "Key Largo" where Lauren Bacall is perving "Steve" as works ropes to tie up the Santana. He's demonstrating skill. She's eyeing him like a chocolate truffle.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 15

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 5:27:08 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

ooooh... I like that part... I'm always interested in the motorcycle stuff...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 16

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 5:50:29 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

I think that was me. :)
I think the problem is that hearing about capability just isn't the same as seeing it. A short list of skills in an ad is probably the best one could do, but that's not gonna press my buttons like actually seeing it. Hrm. Okay, best thing I can think of: a photo of you doing what it is you do. I know one of the pics I loved most of my boy was one that was taken while he was working on an engine, not looking at the camera, just doing what he was doing.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 17

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 5:55:22 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jonathan
to teach Her. maybe my gardening skills? i am not being flip here, Ms. Akasha, only honest.

For the record, watching a man work in the garden would be hot to me. :)

(in reply to jonathan)

Post #: 18

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 6:04:46 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Why not simply think of it as a job application?

When you talk to a potential give them information the knowledge and skills you have in a straight forward manner.

"I do most of my own auto care and really enjoy keeping my lawn and gardens in great shape" is straight forward with either being braggy or pleading for example "Forget about worrying over car care, I'm a genius with that stuff" or "Please I'm just dying to get out into your lawn and doing hard sweaty labor while you watch, a riding crop in your hand."

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 19

RE: Submissive capability. Would it interest you to hea... - 6/17/2008 6:30:11 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Ive always thought of it as a profile as the letter of introduction like the one you attach to your CV

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 20

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