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hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: What can I expect a female slave to do for me? (6/19/2006 6:17:19 AM)
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This is probably going to sound both judgemental, and contradictory, but here goes anyway...
First the judgemental portion - abuse has no place in BDSM. Abuse is the refuge of the undisciplined, the spoiled, the sociopathic, the inherantly stupid, and those lacking in self worth. Ray himself calls what he wants Abuse. Not play, not no-limits - Abuse. He says NOTHING about whether he considers himself to have any sort of responcibility towards whatever woman he would "abuse" for his amusement. Like feastie, I got the distinct impression from his second post (and from his profile) that he mistakenly thinks that because he has money, he's somehow excused from acceptable public behavior or responcibility. A lot of people have money. A lot of people who enjoy kink have money. That doesn't make them any less responcible for their actions, and the outcome of their actions, than a person who does Not have significant cash flow. Unless the agreement he intends to make with his prospective slave hands over a great deal of that money in one form or another - providing for her upkeep both physical and mental, etc at much higher than typical levels - then it's not going to be much inducement to someone to allow themselves to be misused and abused. Contrary to popular myth - everyone does not have "a price" at which they will do literally Anything at someone else's command without thought about whether they do or don't gain some enjoyment out of it themselves.
As far as public humiliation scenes - I have to ask "How Public?" Is he considering "at the local dungeon during a mass play party" to be public, or is he thinking "at the grocery store because she unknowingly picked up a brand I don't prefer, so I want to be able to scream at her that she's stupid and worthless for not being a mindreader" type of public? If it's the first - people within a common dungeon often expect to see the perifery of others' ongoing scenes. If it's the second - well - you're imposing your kink on people who have not given their consent to participate. Not even in the vague manner of consenting by being present in a place where Kink is the purpose of it's existance. The instant you cross the line between consensual behavior and non-consensual behavior, you've gone to far. This is, after all, about Consensual Kink. Whether you prefer SSC (safe, sane, consensual) or RACK (risk aware consensual kink) - it's still about Consent, and Everyone who is involved having agreed to participate. If I happened to be in a completely public venue, amongst people who were not there for the common purpose of kink, and I happened to see someone engaging in such activities - I would be offened, and yes Angry, even though I am a kinkster myself. I don't go to the grocery store, gym, or local movie theater with the idea that I'm going to be viewing someone else's humiliation scene. I do take that into consideration when I go to the local dungeon. Frankly, I'm one of those who would probably be First to grab up their cell phone and call the cops to report domestic violence if I saw it going on at the store or movie theater - because my automatic assumption would be that it could not be BDSM play in such a venue.
Now, that having been said - here comes the contradictory portion ....
There are, quite likely, people out there who would find all the various things he mentioned right up their alley. People who would be compatible with him. Obviously, that's Not going to be with the majority of those who have responded to this post - either recently, or when it was originally posted back in November. While I wish him luck in his search - I would also suggest that he take a long, hard look at what he really wants before taking any steps towards forming an actual relationship. I have one of those instinctual feelings that things are not going to be what his fantasy have cracked them up to be.
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