-=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10)

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> -=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10)

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-=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10) - 6/21/2008 4:57:57 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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10. Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries.
9. Your nipple clamps have training wheels.
8. Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pacemaker.
7. When you tell your sub to get the cane, you have to specify "walking" or "beating".
6. You can't tell the difference between your tatoos and your age spots.
5. You shout "One, two, three, CLEAR!" for electrical play.
4. Your idea of breath play is when your wheelchair runs over your oxygen hose.
3. Your idea of suspension is an UltraLift™ bra.
2. You hold the paddle and say, "You're younger than me....back into the paddle....HARD!"
1. Age play really is 24/7.

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RE: -=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10) - 6/21/2008 5:11:11 PM

KMsAngel

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i work in aged care. please let me know when you hit 80ish, rs, cause i so wanna case manage you!

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RE: -=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10) - 6/21/2008 5:38:06 PM

Lucylastic

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Heres another few to add to them:)
Knowing When To Call It Quits ......Sometimes, like it or not, you're just in no shape to scene. heres a few examples......

You have a hard time finding leather Depends.
The dentures come out with the ball gag.
A wax pour is what covers your cake once all the candles are lit.
You take out floggers, paddles,restraints...and can't remember why.
CBT means you're out of Viagra and you have a date with the widow Harrison.
Breast bondage is when you've accidentally tucked them into your waistband...again.
You hand a flogger to your submissive and say, Beat yourself...I'm going to take a nap.
You find yourself saying things like, In my day, we didn't have no fancy store-bought toys,
We had to walk 10 miles uphill in 8 feet of snow and cut down a tree and make our own damn paddles before we could spank somebody.
You keep tripping over the chain on the nipple clamps when you walk

Lucy

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RE: -=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10) - 6/24/2008 2:29:11 PM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel
i work in aged care. please let me know when you hit 80ish, rs, cause i so wanna case manage you!

<--- note to self, on 80th birthday, hook up with KMsAngel

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RE: -=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10) - 6/24/2008 2:42:00 PM

SteelofUtah

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RS you are really a Masochist aren't you?

Steel

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RE: -=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10) - 6/25/2008 4:03:42 AM

KMsAngel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel
i work in aged care. please let me know when you hit 80ish, rs, cause i so wanna case manage you!

<--- note to self, on 80th birthday, hook up with KMsAngel

goes back through all of rs' posts and starts keeping notes. case managing in eldercare is all about the clients' wants and needs. i'm going to need a whole filing cabinet for this one!

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RE: -=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10) - 6/25/2008 7:39:41 AM

Saratov

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Be sure you have someone for him to 'abuse'. Maybe someone assigned on each shift...

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RE: -=Too old for BDSM=- (Top 10) - 6/25/2008 7:55:57 AM

KMsAngel

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hmmmm. will have to keep that in mind. meanwhile, i'll tend to him myself *wicked grin*

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