softness -> RE: gangbangs (6/23/2008 12:56:38 PM)
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ok sweetie, I try to make a point of not being the harbinger of bad news about BDSM ... I am giving you a view of my experience in this situation feel free to toss it aside as a one off .. I really hope that it is. When I was 20 I had been with my Dom for 2 years. He and I shared a fantasy of whoring me out to others, of gang bangs, of me on a buffet .. all kinds of hot little ideas around that subject. He arranged one at his house, people we both knew .. he managed it safely, and a great evening was had by all ... the next day however I had monumental drop and felt like the worst kind of disgusting whore (not in the nice way, in the damaged way). He was totally unable to deal with the fallout because a) it was something I had asked him for and b) the night before had been enjoying it so much. - he handled it badly, this should have been a red flag but i failed to notice it ... fast forward a few months ... again he arranges for me to be used by multiple others, this time different scenario - I would be bound and blindfolded. Evening goes ahead and it takes me much further than I ever wanted to go, and he was distant and unsupportive of me during the evening, sometimes I was calling for him, or begging for him, and I had no response whatsoever and no ability to manage the situation myself. Days later I found out this was because at times he had not been there at all, he left me unattended numerous times during the evening and was steadily getting drunker and drunker as the night went on. Not only was he not keeping a managerial eye on events but he was not even checking the men involved were using protection, many of whom were not. The way the scene had been set up only he would be able to put a stop to things, given what he was actually doing when he should have been watching out for me, I am lucky all I got was friction burns and emotional trauma. He later threw back at me that I had clearly gotten over the first time so easily, it hadn't really been that bad, and that he had done it because I wanted it "more extreme". The fall out from that night was serious - both directly and indirectly... and as a result my replacement fantasy is of never being touched, less used, by a man other than my Owner for as long as I am property. I do not want to be a terror monger, I am sure there are many thousands more positive experiences than there are negative like mine. I am certain that of 100 people you asked, 90 would come back positive. You do need to be aware that there can be nasty fall out and be preparing for it. If this is a hot fantasy for you then great, but is that hot fantasy potentially worth destroying your relationship for. DV and I both have fantasies that are wildly hot for us, and we both know that the potential damage that negative fall out could do to our relationship is far too high a price to pay for making it real. I for one hope you have a brilliant time, and have to be peeled off the ceiling after a long night of bed breaking fun. Only you can decide if you are ready for it. Best of luck hun, I really mean that.
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