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Switching To Topping - 6/23/2008 12:09:33 PM

mandalic

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/20/2007
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For the most part I’ve identified as a bottom except for a few brief times where I was going to submit to specific people, or other times when I’ve thought about switching. I’ve always recognized that I do have some topping tendencies, but as far as who I am in a relationship with, I want a man, who is a Top. Him switching every so often would definitely be a plus, but in day to day life I don’t want a man who is going to be a "bitch all the time".

I’m with a man now who I have a kinky sexual relationship with. We don’t practice D/s (as that is not where I’m at in my life right now), but when we do kinky sex (S&M) he is always the Top. For a little while now I’ve wanted to do some ass-play with him like fucking him with a strap-on, but he is still working on being that comfortable with me doing that to him (he does solo ass play, but it takes him awhile to be able to do that with another person).

Recently I’ve opened myself up more to the idea of topping. Ichanged my profile to switch to better reflect my growing desire to do just that. I’ve always been interested in various things that generally go along with females topping males: face sitting, cross-dressing, strap-ons, spanking, and other things. I’ve just always had a hard time being sexually attracted to male submissives so I never heavily sought that out.Now that I am in a relationship that fulfills most of my 'major' needs I feel more open to also being with a man who is more submissive, because I wouldn’t have to deal with him the rest of the time***. I recently started talking to a man who is also a switch and we might make plans to meet, and have me top him.

I don’t really have any experience with topping though, and I’d love to hear some advice if anyone has any about just starting out as a Top, and topping someone who has more experience at being topped than you do at topping.

***My relationship is open, and b/f is okay with me topping others.

< Message edited by mandalic -- 6/23/2008 12:10:07 PM >

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RE: Switching To Topping - 6/23/2008 2:53:01 PM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
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I don't have any experience to share but I'll bet you know more about topping than you might think. I imagine your own experiences being topped would be a useful and unique resource.

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RE: Switching To Topping - 6/24/2008 12:22:15 PM

Ravel

Posts: 59
Joined: 1/22/2008
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You definately have an advantage. You know what it is like as a bottom and how you like to be topped. Just take what you have seen as a bottom and switch your role. I also have found that if you don't know how to do a specfic thing you sub will be MORE than willing to help you figure it out.

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When in doubt shake your tush.

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RE: Switching To Topping - 6/24/2008 12:44:57 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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It's easier than you think. ;)

I've recently started topping, after considering myself submissive for a number of years. My first topping scenes were me, a domme friend of mine, and her submissive boy. When you have someone else to work off of, it's a lot smoother, for me at least. I was mildly surprised that I have a thing for CBT, and rather shocked to find out that I'm a little rougher than most of my bottoms can handle, and I've had to learn how to tone it down a lot.

You'll be perfectly fine, have fun! (And cute picture)

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RE: Switching To Topping - 6/24/2008 12:48:34 PM

chickpea

Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
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I would consider it if I keep running into fake Doms that just use BDSM to get laid. lol

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RE: Switching To Topping - 6/24/2008 5:10:26 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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Just do it!

<grins>

I agree with what others have stated...since you have bottomed before, you may surprise yourself in your abilities to top...

Oh...

Grab him by the hair and yank him close and slap him a few times...get his attention right away....nothing wrong with going 0 to 60 in a heartbeat...

Have fun!

(in reply to mandalic)

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RE: Switching To Topping - 6/24/2008 6:01:28 PM

LolaBabalon

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/24/2008
From: NYC
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I agree that switches have an advantage when it comes to topping - it is always helpful to understand exactly what something can feel like when you're doing it to another person. But I still think that the best way to ensure that you both enjoy the experience is to have good, open communication. Usually, someone who is willing to submit to you will be more than happy to discuss all the details of what the encounter should involve. You can even work it like a form of foreplay - discussing all the details beforehand can definitely build up anticipation.

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RE: Switching To Topping - 6/24/2008 6:54:16 PM

Morsigil

Posts: 67
Joined: 7/26/2007
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Like the others said, you might surprise yourself.

You have these ideas about what you want to do. So... do them. Tease, bind, and fuck him... or whatever you want to do, within his limits of course. That's the essence of it, right? You talk about and do what you want and see what works for the two of you.

(in reply to LolaBabalon)

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