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RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/25/2008 1:46:11 PM

tsclittlecupcake

Posts: 10
Joined: 5/30/2008
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Hi there --

Aren't there just as many dominant play partners who thrive on the chance to make their submissive behave? If all submissives were well behaved all of the time, that would certainly limit the number of successful matches for such dominants. Assumption that the brattiness coefficient means bad submissive demonstrates a limited understanding of the number of variations that might exist between a dominant and a submissive.

Most people don't live to an extreme example of any single behavior all the time. We all have quirky moody times. We have upbeat lively times. We know when it is better to just curl up at the feet of a man and watch a movie. Even if a dominant and submissive pair found joy in this toughness/brattiness exchange, I'd venture a guess to suggest that wasn't a 24/7 activity, just part of an entire existence that fulfilled needs.

the cupcake

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RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/25/2008 2:18:39 PM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

the term Brat and topping from the bottom all come from the belief that there is one true way, its rather sad really,

My UM brats out, does this mean that she is not a true UM?

Labelling yourself as a brat is about behaviour and says nothing about elitism.

(in reply to colouredin)

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Post #: 22

RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/25/2008 3:03:03 PM

im4realsub

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/4/2007
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i admit that i am a brat...it is just part of who i am naturally. As it has already been stated some Dominants allow it, some don't. But it has been my experience that acting out to get attention is not the right approach. If you want a spanking, ask for one. The key is to find that someone who allows you to be you. Be honest in your communication with them...as the relationship grows you will know by a simple look or gesture that you have either crossed the line or about to. Negative behavior gets negative reactions...or so i've been taught.

4real

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Post #: 23

RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/25/2008 5:38:54 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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One thing I recommend considering is dig deep and figure out what exactly about the "making up" for something motivates you. Perhaps you can take that kernel of motivation and learn to thrive with that WITHOUT the stimulus of annoying behavior.

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Post #: 24

RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/25/2008 5:53:11 PM

bashfulhuck

Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
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I'm not sure I would classify being a brat sometimes as being annoying, but maybe that's just me.
Some Dominants love a submissive that's a playful little brat at times. I know mine did within limits of course.
There are just those of us that enjoy that type of dynamic rather than the "Old Guard" type of dynamic. The trick is, if you are a playful, bratty submissive, then you find a Dominant that is equally playful back, but beware of those consequences LOL.

Peace and serenity,
bashful

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Post #: 25

RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/25/2008 7:35:00 PM

LadyRainfire

Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
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Daddy's a brat.....

(I'm not allowed to be one.....)

*runs off and hides...*

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Post #: 26

RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/26/2008 2:14:41 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRainfire

(I'm not allowed to be one.....)

I'm half-tempted to clarify that with a new thread in PaRS.

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Post #: 27

RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/26/2008 6:49:46 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Just from reading the replies and from reading other similar threads over the years goes to show that many of us have differing views of what being a brat is. Nothing new about this of course, and it just goes to reinforce that good concise upfront discussions with honest Q&A at the start of any relationship is essential. I tend to catagorize brattiness into to positive brats and negative brats. Negative brats I have found tend to be trying to manipulate and top from the bottom (had one of those and removed her from my home and life), where as positive brats tend to be more the joker/prankster who knows the limits they can pust and tease within. A D/s couple we know well locally is a great example with the lad being a natural brat and a wonderful sub for his Mistress too.. I like a bit of brat in a girl, it shows spirit, just means that she'll be more likely to have her ass tanned more often or placed in sexually humiliating possitions more often too..

Iron Bear
(Incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent)
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(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

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Post #: 28

RE: Sub Brattiness - 6/26/2008 6:59:05 PM

variation30

Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ajar

I have some concerns on sub brattiness.

I've never been in a D/s relationship yet, but i know (from other experiences) that i get really turned on when i feel i've upset or disapointed someone i'm in a sexual relationship with. It makes me want to make up for the trouble i've caused and makes me feel like i really deserve to be punished. And i love the thought of being punished! However, i'm worried that by acting out i can give off the impression to my Dom that i'm disrespecting him beyond just our game, and i don't want to do that.

How do you engage in bratty play with your Dom/sub? If you're a sub do you ask for permission before you act out? I'm worried that if i ask for permission first, the acting out and his reaction will feel forced and fake.

for me, someone being consistently bratty (especially if it's intentional or 'cute') would get very old, very quickly. especially if I'm not in the mood. if I am in the mood however, it could be somewhat fun.

what a wonderful minefield that would be.

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Post #: 29