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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/25/2008 9:21:08 PM

lronitulstahp

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

There are loads of threads covering this subject...i would suggest a search...

As for me, i don't get offended by anyone's kink or preference. i am an equal oppurtunity slut myself, as far as race is concerned....but i have an IQ bias.*guilt*

So how many points would I have to drop my IQ by to become attractive to you, tuls?

what are You a comedian???oh...yeah...wait...umm....*sulks*

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/25/2008 9:33:34 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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honestly, does it really matter if i'm offended or not that there are black dominants choosing white submissives/slaves over me? does it matter if they (black dominants) are offended because i have a white Daddy or that i attract white dominants?

what does offend me are those that i'm bringing down the black race because i'm submissive to a white Daddy. i have received nasty and vile messages from such men who bemoan me how i'm not "black enough" in the preference choosing someone outside my race.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/25/2008 9:39:18 PM

lronitulstahp

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

honestly, does it really matter if i'm offended or not that there are black dominants choosing white submissives/slaves over me? does it matter if they (black dominants) are offended because i have a white Daddy or that i attract white dominants?

what does offend me are those that i'm bringing down the black race because i'm submissive to a white Daddy. i have received nasty and vile messages from such men who bemoan me how i'm not "black enough" in the preference choosing someone outside my race.

It takes all kinds...
i had a white dom tell me since i am mixed, i wasn't "black enough". He said i should change my profile to reflect that fact....err...ummm...dude! WTF????? i sent him an email back saying something to the effect of "Quadroon wasn't one of the choices...my bad" dickhead!

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/25/2008 9:42:47 PM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

honestly, does it really matter if i'm offended or not that there are black dominants choosing white submissives/slaves over me? does it matter if they (black dominants) are offended because i have a white Daddy or that i attract white dominants?

what does offend me are those that i'm bringing down the black race because i'm submissive to a white Daddy. i have received nasty and vile messages from such men who bemoan me how i'm not "black enough" in the preference choosing someone outside my race.

It takes all kinds...
i had a white dom tell me since i am mixed, i wasn't "black enough". He said i should change my profile to reflect that fact....err...ummm...dude! WTF????? i sent him an email back saying something to the effect of "Quadroon wasn't one of the choices...my bad" dickhead!

*snort*

Some peoples children, I swear..

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/25/2008 11:31:16 PM

chickpea

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

honestly, does it really matter if i'm offended or not that there are black dominants choosing white submissives/slaves over me? does it matter if they (black dominants) are offended because i have a white Daddy or that i attract white dominants?

what does offend me are those that i'm bringing down the black race because i'm submissive to a white Daddy. i have received nasty and vile messages from such men who bemoan me how i'm not "black enough" in the preference choosing someone outside my race.

I won't even go there... ugh lol..sort of. I just can't believe a whole race or group dictating what race he or she can be interested in? Maybe I'm not from the south or some hugely segregated area that I don't get the logic behind racism. Maybe cuz I wasn't alive during institutionalized segregation? Who cares if a perfect stranger who is black and you're black, prefers whites. I would also go as far as saying that Blacks shouldn't feel prouder because Obama is elected as the nominee unless they do something about their lives. Sure the perception of Blacks isn't as negative as before, but shouldn't base your life on what other people think. Choosing your significant other is the greatest blessing their is! When you learn to let go of others perceptions (and having a checklist that's dictated by others) is when you open the door of your life to true happiness.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 4:29:24 AM

LuvnFemAuthority

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I was told once by a black guy that he got off on fucking white women (in theory this was vanilla) because it was like, and I quote, "fucking the master's wife". This creeped me out big time! I don't want to play out anyone's fantasy of rage against nationality, ethnicity, gender, et cetera et cetera. Egad that's just horrifying! I've seen the reverse too with ads here on collarme: black dudes wanted to be called racial slurs as part of humiliation. I couldn't. Everything in me winces at the idea.

At times I wonder if the black male/white female couple walking down the street has the same dynamic and if she would still be with him if she knew that.

I have a thing for Indian men (you have your fetishes, I have mine). I'm not trying to reenact the British imperialism by taking one as a slave. I know a lot about Indian culture, customs, food, yadda yadda. I happen to find a touch of spice smell to the skin very sexy (a touch, not like the guy swam in curry for an hour and got the bus, yuck!). Just a tiny amount excreted from the pores with fresh sweat: pheramones + masala = yum! (if I was normal would I be here?)

Otherwise, I'm generally an equal opportunity slut. :)

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 6:24:15 AM

pinksugarsub

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Ty for the replies so far; all very edifying.

I think anyone on the receiving end of 'nasty and vile emails' is entitled to feel 'creeped out', and I'm sorry it's happened to you, sambamanslilgirl.

It's interesting to learn some people have a racial preference based on aesthitcs....though not all whites...or African-Americans...etc....'look' the same. Some are quite dark-skinned, others are quite light, etc. Still I guess it would increase one's 'odds' of finding someone you're attracted to...dunno.

'Race play' is a kink or fetish I'd never heard of before; thank you to those who explained it. Always nice to learn.

I guess I agree with MasterFireMaam; I'm offended by anyone who seeks me out based on some objective 'thing' about me, and not because of an interest in getting to know me, the person.

This has happened -- to me -- in a variety of contexts, not just racial.

I've had 20-something Doms who've contacted me, saying they are attracted to mature submissives because 'mature submissives are more experienced'. Their assumptions about me are wrong.

To Leatherist and some of the other members who posted: I didn't write the Op because i'm 'crippled by fear of racism'. I will admit I find all forms of bigotry repugnant, and would not be attracted to a Dom who labored under the burden of bigotry. But then, I'm equally put off by Doms who lie, etc.

I had one African-American Dom who sought only white s-types tell me His preference was based on His 'belief' that white s-types are more submissive and more malleable than African-American s-types. Whether anyone would consider Him bigoted, I thought it was laughable.

One of the gentlest souls I know is my girlfriend, the law professor; she's Jewish and African-American. She's so kind and accepting I sometimes worry people will take advantage of her.

By contrast, one of the orneriest people I know and love is a white lesbian -- she's an absolute pistol, and it's fun being around her. Her energy and life spirit are so strong.

I don't know that I'd agree that there is a subculture for everyone, based on their racial identity (or anything else). Each person has their own life experience and milieu; maybe 'some' or 'most' African-Americans D-types and s-types are more informed about politics than I am.

I haven't looked at every single members' profile so I rarely know -- or care -- the racial identity of anyone who posts in disagreement with me. Besides, lots of the members who have disagreed with something I've posted have written in such a way that it's clear they're extremely well-informed.

candystripper

P.S. Still having problems with CM (or with my pc or with my ISP...*sighs*). Please be patient; it's still me, pinkieplum.

< Message edited by pinksugarsub -- 6/26/2008 6:38:48 AM >

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 7:06:13 AM

aggressiveblkdom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

I had one African-American Dom who sought only white s-types tell me His preference was based on His 'belief' that white s-types are more submissive and more malleable than African-American s-types. Whether anyone would consider Him bigoted, I thought it was laughable.

The sad thing is that this view of caucasian women in general is pretty common among alot of African American men who are not exposed to anything other than, well....your stereotypical "ghetto". I grew up in such an area but fortunately was exposed to other cultures as a child quite regularly, (and not just through the television or media) so that mentality wasnt sown in my mind as fact. I don't look at it as bigoted, merely misinformed and unaware of the truth of the matter.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 7:15:23 AM

BLKMADONA

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Wow!!. All Imma say is to each their own, in hopes that the person that one chooses(being in some sort of interracial interaction) knows WHY that person was chosen(whether it be fetish or color). Me personally, I prefer what I prefer and thats what I prefer! All else can kiss that pretty little birthmark on Mah a$$!

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 7:38:52 AM

holywar3

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In my eyes, any selection based on race is racism. Call it preference if you want but preference is just another way of saying prejudice. It really surprises me that this lifestyle is infected with what I would call racism passed off as mere preference. Granted some s types take it alot deeper than others I've seen several white men and women s type profiles go on and on about how blacks are the superior race just as I've seen black men and women s type profiles go on about whites being the superior race.

I expect alot of flak for this stance but thats just how I feel about it.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 11:20:18 AM

Maya2001

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It is no different that saying you are seeking a male Dom rather than a female sub/male sub/ domme. You have made a perference choice that excludes a certain members of the population.

Every one of us has certain personal preferences in what we find desirable/attractive stating your perferences is not the same thing as discrimination ..it is a means of being honest inorder to improve your odds of finding the traits you find appealing especially if what you seek is a relationship

Myself being 5' 8" I am more attracted to tall men, I prefer a male with a bit of meat on their bones, but not overly overweight, muscular and broad shouldered, I do not find skinny males appealing.... colour is not that important a factor to me but it just happened to this point that of time I have only dated white or slightly olive complexions.... I prefer dominants over submissives, males rather than females...I also have a narrow age preference basically -3 to +10 of my age ..I prefer a Dom that has my best interest at heart and who respects me... intelligent and self assured other factor is income since I am seeking a relationship my preference is that they are earning close to what I do or better, it may seem crude to say income is a preference but common law laws here could leave me stuck paying support and give up part of my pension if a relationship of 6 months or more breaks down ...I do not wish to lose my home and part of my income if things go sour. It does not mean I would never chose outside of my preferences as 2 of my Doms where outside my physical preference but made up for that in personality. certain preferences are not fixed in stone but others are , having preferences is not discriminatory but a means to find a partner one finds appealing and desirable.....

if one is not seeking long term life partners they generally would have far less personal preferences in their partners but even they have certain preferences whether it be gender, role, attitude

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 11:29:43 AM

tenderplant

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To each his or her. I don't harbor any hard feelings when I see a black Dom with a white, hispanic, asian submissive. If that is who they are attracted so be it. What I have a problem with is someone who wants fullfill their "taboo fantasy" with me just because I am a black submissive. I told a Dom one time I am more than his "taboo" fantasy. He didn't contact me anymore :)

I see this way when it comes to the black/white thing. If you cut us we all bleed the same color.

That is my 21 cents worth.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 12:40:48 PM

Daes

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I tend to date and/or sleep with latino or caucasian men out of preferance - though I do not mention this in my profile. I'm just not attracted to certain physical characteristics, and that doesn't make me racist, its just what I'm attracted to and I'm comfortable with saying that.

For a surety, I'm a sucker for men with dark hair and a light tan. XD

With Women it is different. I could care less so long as she is dominant and I enjoy her for who she is, personality and otherwise.

< Message edited by Daes -- 6/26/2008 12:46:15 PM >

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 2:30:02 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp
i am an equal oppurtunity slut myself

To the farm!!!!!!!!!!

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/26/2008 4:54:12 PM

kiwisub12

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If selection based on race is racism, then am i sexist for choosing Sir because he is male?

This actually is a serious question , extrapolated from holywar3's post.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/27/2008 12:24:49 AM

candystripper

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

It is no different that saying you are seeking a male Dom rather than a female sub/male sub/ domme. You have made a perference choice that excludes a certain members of the population.

Every one of us has certain personal preferences in what we find desirable/attractive stating your perferences is not the same thing as discrimination ..it is a means of being honest inorder to improve your odds of finding the traits you find appealing especially if what you seek is a relationship

Myself being 5' 8" I am more attracted to tall men, I prefer a male with a bit of meat on their bones, but not overly overweight, muscular and broad shouldered, I do not find skinny males appealing.... colour is not that important a factor to me but it just happened to this point that of time I have only dated white or slightly olive complexions.... I prefer dominants over submissives, males rather than females...I also have a narrow age preference basically -3 to +10 of my age ..I prefer a Dom that has my best interest at heart and who respects me... intelligent and self assured other factor is income since I am seeking a relationship my preference is that they are earning close to what I do or better, it may seem crude to say income is a preference but common law laws here could leave me stuck paying support and give up part of my pension if a relationship of 6 months or more breaks down ...I do not wish to lose my home and part of my income if things go sour. It does not mean I would never chose outside of my preferences as 2 of my Doms where outside my physical preference but made up for that in personality. certain preferences are not fixed in stone but others are , having preferences is not discriminatory but a means to find a partner one finds appealing and desirable.....

if one is not seeking long term life partners they generally would have far less personal preferences in their partners but even they have certain preferences whether it be gender, role, attitude

Maya, it's reasonable to me to want a D-type (or s-type; i dun know what you seek) whose income is approximately the same as your own. I think it elimiates a lot of tension over money.

However, you said this

quote:

It may seem crude to say income is a preference but common law laws here could leave me stuck paying support and give up part of my pension if a relationship of 6 months or more breaks down....

Maya

This is just not true, at least not in the U.S. There is no 'common law marriage' in any state I'm aware of anymore, and years ago, when it did exist, the couple had to engage in many behaviors that misled people to think they were legally married -- and this took time. It could never have been done in just six months.

There have been suits for 'palimony', most notably Michelle Marvin vs. Lee Marvin circa 1977. These are contract disputes, in which one party alleges the other has breached a specific promise regarding property. By the way, Lee Marvin won in 1977.

I'm certainly not asking that you take me at my word; I'm only mentioning it because if fear of property loss is dictating your choices to a significant degree, you may want to learn more about it -- I think your fears will be eased.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/27/2008 5:50:35 AM

LadyRainfire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

<snipped for clarity>

However, you said this

quote:

It may seem crude to say income is a preference but common law laws here could leave me stuck paying support and give up part of my pension if a relationship of 6 months or more breaks down....

Maya

This is just not true, at least not in the U.S. There is no 'common law marriage' in any state I'm aware of anymore, and years ago, when it did exist, the couple had to engage in many behaviors that misled people to think they were legally married -- and this took time. It could never have been done in just six months.

<snipped for length again>

I'm certainly not asking that you take me at my word; I'm only mentioning it because if fear of property loss is dictating your choices to a significant degree, you may want to learn more about it -- I think your fears will be eased.

candystripper

Bear in mind that not everyone on this site lives in the US and abides by its laws and social mores (or lesses). Here in Canada, as I've recently discovered, things are a bit different and common-law marriages are taken very seriously here. Maya is absolutely correct in what she states, as she specified. (See highlighted text.) If you live in a common-law marriage, you could be expected to pay support to that person. Time frames can range from 6 months on up depending on the individual circumstances. Common-law is very much a part of life here and accepted, legally and socially. By that token, the fact that Lumus and I call each other "partner" among other things, some already see us as "married" and the actual wedding will be for legalities only. There's more to it for us of course but hey, it's all fun.....

For technical-loving people such as myself, it's called the Ontario Family Law Act.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/27/2008 7:06:05 AM

chamberqueen

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I am a white woman who specifically looked for a black Dom. I was engaged to a black man (who was killed in the war) and frankly felt more sexually excited by black men. I also enjoy irony, and it seemed more ironic for a white woman to bow to a black man.

That being said, the most important thing to me was the personality. The looks were part of the initial attraction but not what kept the relationship going. I wouldn't want someone to feel that they should stay with me because I have green eyes, though that might be part of the initial attraction. I've talked about it with my Master, and He is not at all offended that I enjoy the fact that we are of different races. He knows that what has kept me in the relationship is that He fulfills my needs as I do my best to please Him.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/27/2008 10:49:09 AM

holywar3

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Maybe I should clarify a little more. I don't think its wrong or racist to be more excited by certain aspects of a person but I do think its wrong to close doors. Basically like saying 'Oh you'd be perfect for me...if you were white' and then rejecting them based on that aspect. Me personally I'm most excited by short, white, dark haired, green eyed women. But if i found a tall, black man who was interested in me and was 'perfect' for me in that sense I certainly wouldn't turn him away even though I am more excited by women.

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RE: A Question for African American s-types - 6/27/2008 8:18:24 PM

SubMagda

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If a Black Dom is only seeking a white sub, then yes I feel that he has some kind of issues with black woman. I've gotten to the point where I don't feel offended anymore because most of the time black men in general may have issues that black female don't want to deal with and perhaps they feel that white women will be more tolerant.

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