RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla...

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candystripper -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 12:23:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed. But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene. How about you? Hi again ponyboyachilles. For me the problem doesn't lie with the sex. I have no doubt many 'vanilla ' men are fabulous lovers -- I've known a few myself. I want a lovely sex life wit my Dom, when I'm collared. The problem really is the lack of a D/s dynamic. 'Vanilla' men may or may not learn to tie me up or pull my hair, but who cares? They don't understand my need to submit or have the desire or 'skill set' to dominate me. I think the notion that you can date 'vanilla' men and find real fulfillment from a 'natural Dom' is flawed. Most people -- including most 'vanilla' adults -- have been exposed to D/s in some way, even if it's just a plot line in a tv show. If that didn't pique their interest in D/s enough to get them to explore as something that they might want/need to be fulfilled, they probably aren't going to change just cuz you wish they would. There may be the rare exception to the rule here, particularly for young adults, but personally I don't think it's fruitful to seek a Dom among 'vanilla' men. candystripper

WhisperSupremacy -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 1:05:07 AM)
I left a while due to a lot of emotional distress, depression, and heartache within the fallout of my former d/s relationship. After a while I came back. Whether or not I would leave again is completly undetermined. I guess it depends on the obsticles that will occur within my future relationships. I personally do not want to leave it, that's for sure.

summersprite -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 1:11:31 AM)
No. I don't want a 'vanilla only' relationship again. It would never be enough to satisfy me and I'd be looking for 'my D/s fix' elsewhere. But I'm quite happy to have vanilla sex again.... as long as there's a D/s dynamic there .... and then I'd know that at any time the vanilla could turn very very kinky ;-)

ResidentSadist -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 5:12:40 AM)
Vanilla lifestyle no ... but you said vanilla sex. I have sweet, romantic, soft vanilla sex without leather as passionately and as often as I do with leather. Not all the flowers I proffer my slave are made of leather with barbed wire stems. I am a cards & flowers kind of guy. A simple bouquet of flowers is nice but even when I give 3 dozen flowers to a a naked slave, it docent feel like BDSM to me. Sometimes a jewelry filled pinatta telling her she is #1 and birthday ballos are in order. All these examples seem like classically vanilla type expressions of love.

WyldHrt -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 5:24:14 AM)
Geez RS... puddle

taintedgypsy -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 6:20:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JoePNY707 Nope! Vanilla is fine, but why settle only for one flavor, when you can have all 38 flavors? [:D] See this is my thought ... I am greedy I want every flavor lol. I would not enter into a vanila relationship, I would not be happy. However I have been known to have a bit of fun with a vanilla man, and certainly enjoy the vanilla moments with a Dom, it takes nothing away from the dynamic. quote: Vanilla lifestyle no ... but you said vanilla sex. I have sweet, romantic, soft vanilla sex without leather as passionately and as often as I do with leather. Not all the flowers I proffer my slave are made of leather with barbed wire stems. I am a cards & flowers kind of guy. A simple bouquet of flowers is nice but even when I give 3 dozen flowers to a a naked slave, it docent feel like BDSM to me. Sometimes a jewelry filled pinatta telling her she is #1 and birthday ballos are in order. All these examples seem like classically vanilla type expressions of love. hmmm yum ResidentSadist, that pretty much sums it up, Dom is Dom and if he wants to taste vanilla, dip me and taste away lol.

VioletAshes -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 6:24:52 AM)
Define Vanilla... Maybe Vanilla is a kink all of its own?

DominantJenny -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 7:32:46 AM)
Could I go back? Yes. Would I be happy or fulfilled? No.

TheGaggingWh0re -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 10:46:28 AM)
At this point, no. The very thought of not knowing that Master is taking control and ultimately has control is very much something that turns me off. I enjoy being his slave way too much! :P

missturbation -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 11:06:49 AM)
~fr~ quote: Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? In my opinion anyone COULD go back to vanilla life. The real question is WOULD they? Personally no i don't think i would, can't be 100% sure of course.

HardnRuff -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 4:54:09 PM)
I don`t think I could....... But who knows???? Never say never.

lostgirl83 -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 5:16:15 PM)
I have tried vanilla relationships since discovering my interest in the lifestyle. I can be happy with the occasional vanilla sex... sometimes it just doesn't have to be kinky and elaborate to be good, but for me to feel completely fulfilled as a person the basic dynamics of the relationship have to be D/s related.

Huntertn -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/29/2008 5:17:51 PM)
I agree with phoenixrising43..If you love that person why not if it makes you both happy;love isn't kink..its just love....either its there and your world is good..or its not and your looking for it .....

MsValentine -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/30/2008 5:36:26 AM)
I love the D/s life I have now with my sub p. he and I made BIG choices to be together and have what we had always wanted. I ended an 11 year marriage and he a 22 year old marriage. If I was somehow not allowed or able to have bdsm in my life, I would feel empty, utterly unsatisfied. Vanilla sex just does not do it for me at all. I went through two lengthy vanilla marriages to be sure I know that is true. Without bdsm, I think I would be existing but not truly living.

Usako -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/30/2008 10:51:08 AM)
Sure I could. I'm a multi layered person and BDSM is only one of those layers.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/30/2008 5:22:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed. But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene. How about you? I actually -have-, for several years where it was necessary to put the -activities- of BDSM on the shelf. However, the mindset that allows me to find fulfillment in living my life this way, is, for me, a permanent course of thought, and I cannot imagine thinking any other way. Firestorm

variation30 -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/30/2008 5:53:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed. But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene. How about you? could I go back to the cracker barrel after eating at bastide. it would depend on how hungry I was.

BitaTruble -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/30/2008 6:11:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed. But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene. How about you? I've never experienced a personal, intimate relationship that was vanilla. My one long term non-kink relationship was still alternative in that it was a lesbian relationship. The idea that I have some notion, however, of what the future may hold for me does tend to make me giggle. Bottom line, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Could be vanilla rapture or mucking around in the depths of depravity. I'm pretty much game for anything and just appreciate the joy of the ride I'm on.

SocialPerversion -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/30/2008 6:32:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? Hell no! shiver I am still paying my lawyer from my LAST attempt at a vanilla lifestyle! My girl and I have already discussed it and it is well known that ‘nilla is not an option. I spent a large portion of my adult life trying to play by the rules of the vanilla world and I just found them to be frustrating… If I wanted to play games again then that would be fine, but I don’t. You can still have non-kink sensual time without having to go vanilla, and I have never heard of someone getting infected with the ‘nilla because they had missionary position sex. From time to time we engage in “loverly” time where the beatings stop and we get all romantic and sensual and… well… loverly… but we still have no desire to go vanilla because of it. A vanilla relationship is sort of like Tripe, I tried it but found it made me want to vomit. ~~conquer4love~~

SunnyTawse -> RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... (6/30/2008 8:55:25 PM)
Kinda funny... I posted to another thread today that ever since I have been having orgasms, starting at age 14, I have never had one without thinking or doing bdsm. In my teen years I had vanilla relationships (although never vanilla orgasms), but not since then. And why would I do it again? So that I can go back to imagining it instead of doing it? I'm a kinkster at core. Sunny * Happily but hopelessly addicted to kink

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