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A surprise ending? - 11/8/2005 5:53:39 PM

yun

Posts: 138
Joined: 10/21/2005
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greetings this evening Masters, Mistresses and slaves..

i wished to pose a question aimed mostly at the slaves, but always the opinions and thoughts of the Free are wanted as well.

kajir are supposed to give over everything to their owners. while there has already been a discussion on limits vs no limits i won't get into that topic. i ache to never hesitate to answer my Masters call to service in anyway. if he wants something of me i have no rights to deny him having submitted fully to him. sometimes in that service, however, i know he asks things of me that push my limits and i do still occasionally hesitate as my mind thinks about it. (and right about now he is nodding his head off because he hates how much i think about things!). i'm working to overcome this hestiation and there have been some times i've surprised myself by how excited i was in my submission to him by whatever he wanted of me.

so my question to the slaves are... have you ever met a situation you couldn't get over and your service to him faltered? Was it more a physical or a mental block? also, has there ever been a situation where you submitted easier then you thought you would when pushed? how did this make you feel in either time?

thank you in advance for your thoughts on this matter..

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RE: A surprise ending? - 11/9/2005 5:46:04 AM

Gem

Posts: 100
Joined: 2/11/2004
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Brightest Blessings

I hit what I call the wall sometimes. Where everything is screaming inside of me to resist to fight to stomp my foot and throw a right proper.

How do I overcome it, well now I do the task, I complete the order, all the while having the temper tantrum in my head. Then when I am allowed I sit and meditate on why at that moment I hit the wall so hard, and why it was so hard to climb up and over.

Usually I find it is something as simple as a hanger on from my vanilla days, sometimes it is a overwhelming insecurity, thru meditation and talking with the Goddess I do eventually get over the wall and let go of the anger, resentment .

I have yet to find something that I absolutely refuse to do, because that means my dismissal( I live under the rule obey or leave), however I do still stumble and sometimes it takes a few times to get over the wall. , however I overthink EVERYTHING...*chuckles*, I just do it in reverse order, I do the task, or order and then overthink it to death.

Not sure if this makes sense or even answered the question, if it is muddled I will try to explain better once the flu finally leaves me.

Blessed Be
Gem

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RE: A surprise ending? - 11/9/2005 5:59:52 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
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Greetings..~smiles~

Wonderful question Yun

There hasn't as of yet been anything told or asked by Master that I've not jumped up and done happily. There has been once that I did not do what was my normal routine because I let my head dictate for that moment it was better to stay out of His way. (I learnt better pretty fast)

I do know that there will be things still yet to come as Master develops my slavery to Him, that right now I'm in mixed emotion about (will i truely enjoy it beyond just the fact of being able to serve Master, or will I do it just because I'm told to, and not have such a happy heart while doing it)..I'm hoping when those times come it will be happy to serve with a happy heart, and I listen now intently on His way of viewing things to help in the changes.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

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RE: A surprise ending? - 11/9/2005 6:46:07 AM

lisaSea

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/27/2005
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Greetings Masters, Mistresses and slaves..

Morning yun

quote:

have you ever met a situation you couldn't get over and your service to him faltered? Was it more a physical or a mental block?

Oh yeh. It was not about me, directly, but rather my dog. Not long after I moved to be with Master, we brought my dog up to join us. Never having kids, my dogs are spoiled rotten and about as untrained as you can get. While at a local dog park, Master told me to turn her loose, I faltered because we were too close to the parking lot and this particular dog when loose, becomes deaf. I stood there and just shook my head...which angered him to no end.

He ordered it..I flatly said no. It was a terrifying moment, but in my mind I had to protect the welfare of my dog...knowing that Master did not know her as well as I did, or her behaviors. He trusted her to listen....I knew she would not.

The outcome? We left the park and the whip was waiting at home. This was one of those cases where if he hadn't, I would have begged it. I was sick to my stomach at having to blatantly disobey, but I honestly felt the welfare of the dog was at stake. That was six years ago....today, I trust him explicitly, he knows the dogs and all their quirks and they surprised me...they listen to him before they do me!

That instance in the park was almost the beginning of the end...it was rough for a bit. Mental? or Physical? Both. My brain would not make my feet move! I can still recall the terror and inability to move.

Wishing everyone a splendid week, I'm off to oogle the construction workers some more...hubba hubba...

lisa{Sea's}

< Message edited by lisaSea -- 11/9/2005 6:47:09 AM >

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RE: A surprise ending? - 11/9/2005 2:50:45 PM

nenakajira

Posts: 221
Joined: 7/14/2005
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Greetings and Salutations

I can't think of any task that he has given once I became his slave that really caused me a problem. Well, I don't like vacuuming but I don't really think that counts. :) I suppose that means my life is pretty simple. There have been a few things I've had to do that I was not partial to but nothing that caused me to balk. Then again, he is a fairly simple man to please once you know the rules.

The only thing that comes to mind from your problem is my time before I was a slave. Slavery was the one thing that I absolutely refused to do and I spent quite a bit of time with him when I was Free. In the end, he decided that a Free Woman would not suit him and though he wanted me there was only one way he would have me. In the end, of course, he had his way. But.. it was quite a battle until that point.

-nena{R}

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RE: A surprise ending? - 11/9/2005 3:47:45 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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In general, to all reading here, There is oft an issue with what you percieve in your mind the outcome of any given event is and what it truely is as it unfolds.

Many are aware that they cannot be guilty that the chinese are communists, it just is.

One should also not spend a great deal in contemplation of the fact that if you stick a fork in your mouth you may pierce your tonsils and bleed to death.......acceptable risk since many people do that every day........but the risk is there constantly.

Control those aspects you really can. Use good judgement. Try to add to your soul.

If an infant, enchanted by the sight reaches to grasp the flame, not knowing, is that reason enough to hold all physical law and not be burned?

Some of life is, and it should be reckoned, no doubt. But some is and cannot be reckoned with.

Sincerely,
Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: A surprise ending? - 11/9/2005 3:58:08 PM

nenakajira

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Wow Master.... I have a horrible urge to call you "Master Yoda" now. :)

-nena{R}

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RE: A surprise ending? - 11/9/2005 4:50:09 PM

mnottertail

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Funny she is!!!!!!!!!!............ummmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm.

I can't type it like he can say it.

Hope you have a glorious day.

I am chuckling,
Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: A surprise ending? - 11/10/2005 3:24:27 AM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nenakajira

Wow Master.... I have a horrible urge to call you "Master Yoda" now. :)

-nena{R}

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!! You mean that Yoda and the Jedi were/are Gorean??????

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Iron Bear

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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