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GentlemanBobIII -> New Member: Do nice guys always finish last? (7/3/2008 5:27:48 PM)
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Ok here goes a NEW introduction. I have submissive tendencies and my motivating force for wanting to explore bdsm is being tickle tortured. Having never BEEN tickled it's easy to understand my fascination and desire to experience it, although the bondage aspect makes it BDSM related. I am a gentleman and nice guy who respects woman. Chivalry is alive and well in my dealings with women. How many of you find this to be true, chivalry by it's nature has some submissive qualities to it. Standing when a lady enters the room, or sits down or gets up from the table, tipping my hat to women I pass (though I think this gesture is lost on most), holding a door open, saying maam a lot. I never realized until I started looking around here what a submissive qualites they are. To me, it's just good manners. I'm not saying all "gentlemen" are submissive however... Of course maybe the dommes here don't find that to be "submissive" behavior. I digress though. I live in Robinson Township PA, (wave if you know where that is), and I work as a Security Officer, I am a volunteer firefighter, and a Social Work student. I find I am willing, even desire to have a woman over me. Not sure if that qualifies me to belong here though. I have been told bdsm is about power exchange not about beating and humiliating men( women) And that most Dommes do not "hate men" and are "just using thier domme status to beat and punish every man, via proxy, that ever hurt them". I hope this is true for I have heard otherwise from people who disapprove of this lifestyle. I am curious about other aspects of BDSM as well, such as CBT, Sensation Play, and Roleplaying. Some of these things scare me though because I have seen so much abuse in my life, plus, getting my balls kicked seems dangerous(yet somehow erotic). The same goes for other areas of BDSM as well. There is a lot I don't know or understand about aspects of BDSM, and others I would be unwilling to try, at this time, given my limited knowledge of these activities but I want to know and understand more. Others, like tickle torture and orgasm tease and denial, sensation play, seem relatively safe. and I would be willing to experiment with them now with the right person. My biggest concern is that in order to fully embrace this lifestyle I would have to give up my own identity, have no mind of my own, just my dommes desires, and that in the process all my chivalrous qualities will be lost. Is this what most dommes want, a puppet a slave? Does romance even HAVE a place in the BDSM lifestyle? Personally, I have always believed in 50/50 partnership in housekeeping cooking(although I love to cook and am pretty good at it) and decisionmaking. And at times, like when my former wife was sick, taking care of her and assuming 100% of the household duties. It seems to me, that most women today, don't want a guy like me anymore. So I will end this inroduction as I opened it in the subject line, Do nice guys like me always finish last? I welcome your feedback, and any aswers/suggestions you have to offer. I hope at the very least I will make some new friends here who won't judge me as being "weird" or "Perverted" because of my interests. Have a GREAT day. -Bob
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