RE: "mixed" marriages

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RE: "mixed" marriages - 7/9/2008 5:09:18 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
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When I met the vanilla man I am now married to, I was right up front before we ever even went on a date. This is who I am, if you want me you take all of me. We've been together 6 years, are amazingly happy and life is wonderful. I never hid ANY part of who I am and made sure he understood everything. He's open minded enough to learn what I have to teach even if the doing part isn't for him. We have pre discussed acceptable boundaries which we both trust the other to uphold at all times. He knows without a doubt I love him....enough so that he will tell anyone who asks he knows there to be three truths in life 1. We all die. 2. What we put out into the world comes back to us. 3. Donna loves me. He's right. Donna, no matter who she lays her head next to at night, no matter who she has tied up in the Rainbow Room, no matter who's lap she's strewn across, no matter who she's kissing. She loves him. And that's what matters. We love each other without reserve and accept our differences. I am free to be who I am each and every day as is he. I'd not change a thing.

He will never be the "level of kink" that I am...but he's certainally not vanilla anymore either....how can he be married to a woman with a live in BDSM counterpart?

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RE: "mixed" marriages - 7/9/2008 5:32:49 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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In the beginning, I would have to say that My marriage was mixed. However, I had stepped back from the lifestyle at the time I met and married My husband. When we chose poly for ourselves, it became very apparent to Me that I wanted the BDSM back. By then, My husband had seen the difference in Me. I was just plain happier to have a submissive male in My life.

My husband will never be a submissive to Me. It isn't in his nature. Actually, he's more of a dominant type.

I don't consider us "mixed" anymore. He has just as much fun (even if not quite as much play) at the events we go to as I do. He might have been vanilla when I met him, but he sure isn't these days.

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RE: "mixed" marriages - 7/9/2008 7:40:33 PM

pixidustpet

Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
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my "mixed" marriage came to an end. there were many reasons, bdsm was part of it though. he called me "freak" because of the needs i have, which still hurts.

i'm sure some relationships could survive, but obviously not all can.

kitten

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Post #: 23

RE: "mixed" marriages - 7/10/2008 12:25:25 AM

masterforRT

Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
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It's said that opposites attract-but similar stay together. I find that true even (especially?) with BDSM. My present wife and I met in the scene and as a result I don't have to hide my kinks from her.

BDSM gives us one more thing to share together.

< Message edited by masterforRT -- 7/10/2008 12:26:01 AM >

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RE: "mixed" marriages - 7/17/2008 7:33:07 PM

nhite

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2007
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it's hard -- balancing the needs of the self that wants to explore bdsm and the needs of the family/spouse

i for one will say its damn hard. some days i feel like i have the tiger by tail on top of the world; and other days it feels like no one gets what they want...

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RE: "mixed" marriages - 7/17/2008 8:17:05 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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my wife and i were married for 15 years before i really discovered the lifestyle. she let me explore what it was that i wanted and now with some trial and error and allot of frank open discussions she is still vanilla and I'm in a poly family serving a Dominant. if this is what you truly desire/need then have a long discussion with you mate and explain it find the limits and go slowly respecting all of the boundaries. i would love it if my wife was a Dominant but its not in her nature, she understands this about me and approves/disapproves of all new play before hand.explore your desires and find your path together.

happily collared by LadyPact

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Post #: 26