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RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 9:19:42 PM   
Jasmyn


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Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

You don't think walking on a man in a shoe store (in public, for the humiliation factor) isn't rude or selfish? The two people in this scenario *have* to do it IN a shoe store? Why? Does it have to do with the fact that other women will look at them, some with disgust? Did these women consent? Did the store clerk consent? The people trying to conduct business, who see customers walk half way in, and then turn around and walk out?

Making a man buy embarrassing items at a grocery store is one thing. So is making him wear lingerie under clothing that might be noticable if someone looked close enough and had a clue about such things. Or, asking *permission* to have a man try on things in a dressing room. But the shoe store example is ridiculous.

Akasha


I reiterate, none of us know the circumstances or what shoe stores were visited. It may be a regular thing, her presence in these shops a common occurence. She may live in an area in which being alternative is the norm not the difference.

So do not see why the idea of been this man being trampled in a shoe store has so offended everyone when they weren't even there to know if the behaviour was causing offense or not?

Keep in mind some of us do take the idea of causing offence to others as being a serious and literal side effect of public expressions of humiliation or acting alternatively, and aren't so stupid as to shoot ourselves in our own feet by creating public hysteria in the process.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 10:46:50 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
And above I posted that for public humiliation I draw the line at sex, nudism/exhibitionism, and masturbation. Everything listed in my ideas for public humiliation can be done, and have been done under my guidance, and not caused offence.

A sub, a sissy, wishing to whisk me away for a night was given three lists of items he needed to get. He had instructions to go to three different supermarkets and for at least one item on each list he had to ask for help to find them. Your usual array of feminine products, condoms, phallic vegetables and lube included. As far as anyone knew he was a man in a supermarket...not much of a rarity these days...buying feminine hygenie products...even less of a rarity these days. The fact he was wearing diapers underneath his jeans...interesting... but not anything that couldn't be explained away as 'inconteninence' or 'recovering from surgery' if anyone was to ask.




I didn't object to anything on your list ~shrug~ Nor would I object to a situation such as the one you presented.

I thought I outlined what upsets me, peronsally, in terms of "public" action. Not saying all humiliation scenes are bad, nor even all public ones. Just that ones where the individuals in question have total disregard for the experiene of others around them.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 11:01:20 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

You don't think walking on a man in a shoe store (in public, for the humiliation factor) isn't rude or selfish? The two people in this scenario *have* to do it IN a shoe store? Why? Does it have to do with the fact that other women will look at them, some with disgust? Did these women consent? Did the store clerk consent? The people trying to conduct business, who see customers walk half way in, and then turn around and walk out?

Making a man buy embarrassing items at a grocery store is one thing. So is making him wear lingerie under clothing that might be noticable if someone looked close enough and had a clue about such things. Or, asking *permission* to have a man try on things in a dressing room. But the shoe store example is ridiculous.

Akasha


I reiterate, none of us know the circumstances or what shoe stores were visited. It may be a regular thing, her presence in these shops a common occurence. She may live in an area in which being alternative is the norm not the difference.

So do not see why the idea of been this man being trampled in a shoe store has so offended everyone when they weren't even there to know if the behaviour was causing offense or not?

Keep in mind some of us do take the idea of causing offence to others as being a serious and literal side effect of public expressions of humiliation or acting alternatively, and aren't so stupid as to shoot ourselves in our own feet by creating public hysteria in the process.



There are clearly submissives that get off on 'public humiliation' because of the sheer risk of knowing that outsiders, preferably women, see what they are doing and find it weird, gross, or amusing. If a submissive actively engages in that kind of play and acknowledges/admits that's where the "rush" is coming from, you can't argue that an unknowing/unsuspecting/uncaring/indifferent audience is ideal. It isn't. It's what a sub will "settle" for.

The public humiliation scenes I've done with subs who really want it have included involving the public in situations where the sub nearly peed his pants because the reactions were real enough from the "viewing public" and his humiliation was tripled because he was called out on his actions. I've had men humiliated in clothing and lingerie stores by women they have never met before, women who ask him things like why is he buying panties and are they for him. I've had sales girls drop hints and make fun of men in front of me. That's what they crave -- that's the point, for many of them, for public humiliation. That's the part of "public" that makes the humiliation intense.

The difference is that these were friends of mine that were "in on it" and he never knew. I've befriended lingerie store owners so I could humiliate men in this way, and I've done the same over the phone.

Akasha

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(in reply to Jasmyn)
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 11:26:12 PM   
RosaB


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quote:

"Good ideas" are relative.

I actually find that public humiliation that involves an audience of non-consenting vanillas (and who probably aren't even all adults) to be completely out of line, and part of what gives this lifestyle a bad name and perpetuates the idea that we are "freaks".


--------------------------------------------------------

I couldn't agree more.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Humiliation play - 11/13/2005 3:25:53 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

The difference is that these were friends of mine that were "in on it" and he never knew. I've befriended lingerie store owners so I could humiliate men in this way, and I've done the same over the phone.

Akasha


Sorry to be a dog with a bone about this but neither you or I know whether she has or has not done the same and has friends and/or sales assistants 'in on it' too, in the stores playing the 'viewing public' and psuedo-humilatrixes. But even in saying that I don't necessarily see a man getting stood on in a shoe store to be that offensive or life scarring to the masses, if indeed there are masses around to see it.










_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Humiliation play - 11/13/2005 6:04:24 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaB

quote:

"Good ideas" are relative.

I actually find that public humiliation that involves an audience of non-consenting vanillas (and who probably aren't even all adults) to be completely out of line, and part of what gives this lifestyle a bad name and perpetuates the idea that we are "freaks".


--------------------------------------------------------

I couldn't agree more.


I'll agree and point out that it's a matter of common courtesy not to upset others. A while back in another notestream, I mentioned a teacher of mine who discovered that her wearing shorts bothered the South Sea islanders she was working among. She stopped, not from any law or even because she was told to be superiors but because it's just not good manners.

Sadly, some people don't have a sense of manners.

_____________________________

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(in reply to RosaB)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Humiliation play - 11/13/2005 2:33:05 PM   
troch


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Joined: 5/25/2005
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I saw a little public humiliation that seemed fairly harmless. I was at a local bar that had a pool table and i saw this one guy go to shoot and his girlfriend stuck a finger in his waistband and creept up his red thong. I am sure it was a womans thong. I just thought is was funny and not sure if anyone else had even noticed it. There were only adults in the bar. Just thought i would share. troch.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Humiliation play - 11/14/2005 8:33:08 AM   
PurpleButterfly


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The little humiliation game mentioned by troch was charming. I've noticed a few simular experiences.

(in reply to troch)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Humiliation play - 11/21/2005 5:57:10 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
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i agree most of the ideas and notes here but i as a sub i too love the idea of humiliations and embrassments .and have had too endure my sahre of them with all due respect too others around you unless its a club play place or play party .. then i think your in the compnay of many who also are ok with the scenes ? as for new ideas and helping others come with some i think that we could have a list that gos around the world and never run out of ideas???

(in reply to PurpleButterfly)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Humiliation play - 11/21/2005 3:16:15 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
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not from any law or even because she was told to be superiors but because it's just not good manners.

Sadly, some people don't have a sense of manners.

==============

m a y b e.......but some of us were not told we had-to. being american "I" was told ya do as ya wanna in this world. i have never worried about what someone else cares about.....
didn't know i had-to. no one ever stopped doing anything on MY behalf.........!!!!!!!!!!

take care


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Humiliation play - 11/27/2005 9:27:59 AM   
TxBikerBoy


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Joined: 11/27/2005
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Greetings,
Quickly about me, I'm a 44 yr old male. I consider myself to be a pretty masculine sort of guy. Been into weight lifting since my teens and carry a lot of muscle for my frame. Guess I am about average in the looks department, but have often been told that along with my size, I am a very intimidating sort of man. I have served a handful of Mistresses over the years, and have had one in particular who was heavy into public play. She was 24 yrs old, a little young for my taste (prefer women more my age) but when first communicating with her, she mentioned she was heavily into public play, and this had always somewhat appealed to me.
Anyway, she had a vanilla room mate (although very open minded and kinky) who witnessed a number of spankings. That was always a huge turn on.
The following is just a sample of some of the things she did to me in public. BTW, we live in a large city, I doubt you would have some of these opportunities in smaller towns.

1. She often made me carry her purse over my shoulder in public.

2. Most of my previous Mistresses usually went "toy" shopping on their own, or ordered toys online. She took me shopping. Always found a place with plenty of women on the sales staff, and made it very clear that she was buying the toy to use on me. She often had me pick out my own toy, and would often embarrass me by saying things like, "Do you think it will fit?" "It better fit, or I'll make it fit." Or things like, "Ooooh, I'm going to spank you ass good with this." "Be sure and buy plenty of lube with that, or you'll be limping for sure in the morning." You get the idea.

3. Took a bunch of embarrassing photos of me, in various humiliating acts, positions, or wearing her panties. Then would find a One Hour Photo, and would have me wait at the counter for the entire time it took the girl to process the pictures. Usually these were young girls and this was pretty humiliating. Often she would inspect the photos, and have me purchase enlargements, once again, I would have to wait on the pics while she was off shopping somewhere in the store. Most of the people in photo labs are used to seeing couples in various forms of play, but I would be somewhat cautious when doing this. You can cross the line with regard to pornography in some small cities.

4. She was quite the exhibitionist herself, we went to a handful of nudist resorts in the State. While it is hard to shock people in a nudist resort with nudity, she did find ways to humiliate me. One resort in particular, had a night club where most attend in sexy outfits, costumes, lingerie, or some women went topless. While it is a nudist resort, people seldom come to the club butt naked. Some end up butt naked after a few drinks, but seldom stayed totally nude the entire evening. We always attended with her in full Dominatrix gear, and myself, completely nude, collared and leashed. Most the women loved it, pretty humiliating around the other guys. After a few drinks it wasn't unusual for her to give me a few modest swats in front of others. One night this did lead to some curiosity from two single girls and a vanilla male/female couple. She did invite them back to our cabin for a demonstration on what a real spanking looks like. The single girls loved it, the vanilla guy and his wife left pretty quickly. BTW, do you know how humiliating it is to be the only guy with belt marks on his ass around the pool? Speaking of the pool, she always had the lounge chair. I had to sit on a towel at her feet. Oh, another thing she used to love. She had one favorite cabin that she used to try and always have me reserve. It was the closest room to the ice machine. She loved having me sit in an icy cold bathtub, then send me on quick errands around the resort with a very, very, obvious shrinkage problem. Some days while we sat at the pool, she would send me back to the room a number of times for a shrinkage session. She used to get sooo amused at shrinkage, especially around the pool! On the other hand, she just loved shrinkage in general. She was always preparing an icy bath for me at her apartment.

5. Another favorite of her's. Again we live in a large town where there are a number of clubs that advertise Asian girls. Most of these establishments are simply bars with Asian women that either have a private room or some discreet booths in the corner. The regulars that frequent these places usually get a dance or two with the girls, then after buying them a couple of grossly overpriced drinks, they retreat to the booth, where the girl might let them feel her up a little, show them a boob, and get a handjob for a 50 dollar tip. THey never offer any sexual favors other than a quick handjob. For some reason the place that we went to most often, usually is pretty dead by about 12:45 or so on weeknights. Once the place clears out, you are usually approached by as many as 5 or 6 girls, all wanting over priced drinks. Oh by the way, she always had me dress in a tanktop and running shorts, so I could be easily undressed. While these establishments are illegal, the authorities seldom ever raid one of these places. But the girls do appreciate easy access to your privates, and it is also easier to get a pair of shorts back up, if you have to do this in a hurry. Anyway, on a few occasions, she had at least 5 women at our booth. Had me pull my shorts down to my ankles and lay face down on the cushioned booth. Oh, we also found out that Asian women are not used to seeing shaved privates. They are almost appalled at this!! She would often have me show them my shaved privates and remark how much I look like a little boy, the Asian women would often laugh at me and agree. She usually tipped each women 10 to 20 bucks to take turns spanking me. The first time she did this, the girls were kind of hesitant, and apprehensive with regard to this activity. They started off very timidly and barely swatted me at all. My Mistress would insist that they spank me hard and long, or no tip! After a while, they got the hang of it, and trust me, these spankings seemed to go on forever, and by the time the last girl had taken her turn, my ass was usually black and blue with little Asian handprints! She also talked a few into lifting their skirts and having me kiss their ass and thank them. After a few trips there, the girls loved it, and rushed to us as we came in the bar. I guess after giving fat guys handjobs for a living, day in and day out, it must be a pleasure for them to inflict a little pain on a man!! Like I said earlier, they eventually became really excited at the prospect of spanking my ass.

Hope some of you can have some fun with these tips.


(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Humiliation play - 12/3/2005 3:26:54 PM   
hottsally


Posts: 6
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i know it would be outre to have a bitch slut mounted by a real dog in public, but it can be done with a select group. Have you ever done this?
sally

< Message edited by hottsally -- 12/3/2005 3:27:39 PM >

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Humiliation play - 12/4/2005 5:51:00 PM   
pansy0916


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline
Many times i have carried my neighbor's pocketbook through the mall. It doesn't matter what store we go into. In Vicky's she has taken out a tape measure, measured me, and then asked the saleslady if she has a bra in that size to match my purse. i was mortified but i love it oh so much. We have played similar games in other types of ladies stores and cosmetic counters. It is divine. Rarely do we get nasty comments. Many times we get very helpful comments.

Happy humiliation
pansy susan

(in reply to LadyKim)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Humiliation play - 12/4/2005 6:56:18 PM   
LindaLashes


Posts: 170
Joined: 10/28/2005
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I found out more and more that my mistress has a little kink for humiliation :D, but it´s always in closed circles (at a munch making me blush like a tomato :), talking about how ridiculous I looked in a PVC maids uniform so small that my crotch was almost exposed under the hem of the dress... ), or inconspicious in public (making me wear a tightlaced corset under my shirt all evening).

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RE: Humiliation play - 12/4/2005 6:58:14 PM   
watchersgirl


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Joined: 11/28/2005
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I also think there's a really fine line when it comes to playing in public. I once saw a couple fucking on a picnic table in a park within close visual distance to a playground. Now, to me, that's inappropriate. Public play is an exciting form of humiliation, but there are creative ways not to involve nonconsensual viewers--and I do believe that if consent matters to us, then it extends to the public. Location makes a big difference; West Hollywood has an expectation of the unusual; Van Nuys, CA doesn't. But some subtle forms of public humiliation:

1) While driving across country, when my top was driving, she would often have me open my shirt and would play with my breasts with one hand (yes, she was watching the road!). The only people who could really see what she was doing were truck drivers, and from what I could see, they were obviously appreciative. We used to joke that they were saying "Cool! Chicks!" And since we passed them fairly quickly, they didn't have their own eyes off the road for more than a moment.

2) Another partner would use rope bondage that was particularly tight between my crotch and make me wear a skirt, and then play with me during movies and do things painful enough I had to work really hard not to make any noise in reaction.

3) My former top would try toys out on me in a fetish store. You're not going to shock anyone, but it's still embarrassing to bend over, leaning on a counter, while someone is taking a whack at you and strangers are watching.

4) With women it's easy to be fucked in a semi-public area where there's a possibility you'll be seen, but by a limited number of people. Once my former top fucked me with two fingers while sitting on the grass in a public and busy park. I was wearing very loose shorts and sitting up facing her, and there was no way to tell what we were doing, but *I* knew.

5) Kneeling before one's top in public or tying their shoes for them may get you some odd looks, but you're not offending any kind of standard of decency. It's just embarrassing and thrilling at the same time.

6) A former top and I were on a long bench, and I was lying with my head in her lap. She tied my thumbs together, which is impressively effective bondage. It makes everything you try to do really awkward. Unfortunately I walk with a cane, or she would have kept my thumbs tied while we were walking. Subtle, but awkward looking enough that people may notice that something's odd. Also, while we were leaning against a wall with a view of the ocean, she stood pressing up behind me and pinched my nipples through my shirt, and fingerfucked me via the leg of my shorts. People might know what you're doing, but they can't *see* anything overt, and a big part of the difficulty was staying quiet and keeping my body still when I came.

As a sub, my own line gets drawn between humiliation which is humbling and reminds me of my low place and degradation, which just isn't my kink. Licking boots, being used as furniture, sitting on the floor licking my Mistress but with strict orders *not* to make her come while she ignored me and read the paper, being played with as a "fidget toy" while your top is reading or watching tv and again just using you--these all reinforced for me what my status was--my Mistress' possession. But I've never had a top engage in verbal abuse (being called a "cunt" is one thing to me; being called a piece of shit is another) or extreme forms of objectification. Just not my kink or the kind of the tops I was with. It's always been understood that submission takes strength, and my tops have respected me for it. I'm not saying this is right for everybody! Just relating personal experiences and where a line b/t humiliation and degradation can be drawn if both parties don't want to cross that particular line.

(in reply to pansy0916)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Humiliation play - 12/4/2005 7:32:08 PM   
Krasnaya


Posts: 154
Joined: 9/22/2005
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I just want to put a word in about the play suggested for shoe stores. I no longer do, but I have worked as an associate at a popular shoe store. I will have to say that very little shocks me. I have caught teenagers having oral sex right before closing when the store was empty which is obviously crossing the line. That being said...no stepping on someone or embarassing them in public isn't going to kill anyone, but I have to agree it's highly uncalled for. We had a man that carried a yoga mat and would ask people to step on him saying the he had a bad back and needed it to be popped. I realized what was going on and asked him to leave, but he did this more than once at our store. The girls at a store down the street fell for it and he actually had an orgasm with a naive employee on his back. So really my point is that regardless of whether or not the public is directly involved like in those situations, it's still not a comfortable situation and its not fair to subject people to that. I wouldn't want my daughter watching a man get stepped on in public for any reason. This might seem over protective to some. I am from a small town, but I don't live in one now, and I never want to see someone getting walked down the street. My leash doesn't leave my bedroom unless it's actually on my dog.

I realize I sound like a prude so let me apologize for that. I'm not. I think having someone go down on me in a shoe store would be hot...I won't lie. I just know better.

(in reply to watchersgirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Humiliation play - 12/5/2005 3:18:35 AM   
Pinkpottiepants


Posts: 76
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Public humiliation is a very intense time for anyone who is into humiliation. Most Dommes miss out on the best way to publicly humiliate their sub, by rejecting out of hand, the use of diapers. You don't have to even make your sub use them, just wearing a thick diaper and a pair of plastic pants under his clothes, will have him constantly in a state of panic, as he's paraded around the shopping mall or taken out to dinner. The crinkle crinkle of the plastic panties as he walks will constantly remind him of what he is. Of course if you really want to turn up the heat, make the public toilets off limit and keep him out for a long time and stop for a coffee or two, or even better a few beer. I can speak of experience, that this form of public humiliation is hard to beat. My Mistress had never intended to have me actually use my diaper, but when she kept me out just a little too long one day, I actually began to pee in my diaper and my reaction was more than she could have ever hoped for. While diapers aren't the only form of humiliation she uses on me, after that day I'm diapered more often.

(in reply to LadyKim)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Humiliation play - 12/5/2005 6:40:19 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
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Have had a sissysub go shopping in diapers and plastic pants... also wearing large pink sissy bloomers, low rider jeans and a short white shirt which the pretty in pink bloomers can be seen is another great humilation treat for one boy I know...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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(in reply to Pinkpottiepants)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Humiliation play - 12/5/2005 2:58:16 PM   
LadyKim


Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
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I rather like that one, Jasmyn. Thanks!!

I have a good one I did a while back with a subbie flying in from Washington for a weekend. I bought him a pair of red thong women's panties and sewed 2 quarters into the opening at the crotch. I sent him the thongs and told him to wear them on his trip *yes, I told him they had been altered to attract attention by security**. Of course, he beeped coming threw security. The wanded him and he beeped again, so they took him back to private room, and had him remove his pants..... revealing his bright red thong. When they found the quarters, he told them that he wanted to make sure he always had change for an emergency phone call. LOL!!!!


(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Humiliation play - 12/5/2005 5:40:12 PM   
pmaleslave


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I believe privacy is important for both part in the lifestyle, especially for the Mistress.
It depends on which country one lives, what is ones occupation and marital status.
my Mistress and i were not able even to show the smallest part of our Mistress/slave relationship when rarely went out together.
Not only nobody could understand this lifestyle it in the country we were based for eight years but also we could have been arrested.
So public humiliation depends on a lot of circumstances for both Mstress and slave. i personally could do anything in public but there are people out of the lifestyle even children and it would "give" a bad name to the lifestyle.
Sanity harms no one. We all live in a society with law and no slavery anymore, so it could be good to follow the law.

(in reply to LadyKim)
Profile   Post #: 40
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