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NormalOutside -> RE: Anyone ever fake an orgasm? (7/13/2008 10:06:33 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: eienKuraiTenshi
Fake an orgasm, who me… lol Yes I did for a long time, very often in fact. It was so hard for me to have one, difficult for me to let down my walls enough to allow myself to be that vulnerable. I did it to stroke there ego because I felt so guilty. In the more vanilla days, I did as many others stated here, faking for the sake of getting them to stop. It was so horrible usually that now it seems pretty funny… Men pumping away very methodically many of them seemed totally clueless. Once in the lifestyle, I didn’t want to disappoint, and I feared having to admit how hard it was for me to trust, afraid somehow that me just being me, needing growing time meant that I had already let them down somehow. I was there to please them, whether I had an orgasm or not shouldn’t matter as long as they did. At least this is what I tried to convince myself of, to wash away my guilt and fear.
Then one day I was taught a lesson, by the one man who knew I couldn’t lie to him, and who had made me promise Him years ago that if we ever actually did get together, I wouldn’t fake it. After nearly 5 years of knowing each other and roughly 18 months now in service to him, I have the most mind blowing orgasms that I never thought possible. He was right, I couldn’t lie to him and I learned the hard way that sometimes, a Dom/me wants there sub to orgasm. They want the satisfaction that comes from allowing there sub to have pleasure. That even they themselves enjoy the satisfaction that comes from such an achievement.
Incase anyone is wondering… He wouldn’t ejaculate from sex with me of any kind, know matter how hard I tried, regardless of how much I begged nothing… We had plenty of sex, pretty amazing sex actually and if he really wanted to get off, he would jack off while I kneeled near by and watched him do it. Once he achieved release, he would let it go, in a garbage can or toilet and tell me how wasted it was, how disappointed he was that he couldn’t share it with me.
Now, while I am not sure if that makes sense to A/all but to me, it made more sense then I cared for. To make things even worse, I was not allowed to masturbate either, and well eventually it happened. It was mind blowing and I still thank him every time, he lets me have his cum inside me and of course whenever he allows me to orgasm. He had a long talk with me after that first climax about how special orgasms are and how there is no way for me to reach it with anyone else if I do not communicate and if I don’t reach orgasm then it is only my fault from now on. Obviously there are occasional health reasons that can hinder but, everyone gets my point all the same.
eien- the long winded one
I just wanted to say, great post.
Was a good read.
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