ResidentSadist
Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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-=The Hookers of Holly Hills & Used Cars=-
Did you ever have one of those days that was just so nice it made you glad to be alive and living in your particular corner of the planet? Today was one of those days for me her in Daytona Beach… well, Holly Hills to be exact. The hookers of Holly Hills and I just had of wonderful afternoon and evening searching for used cars. No, they weren’t in my employment, it was a volunteer squad that wanted to help me find an old classic Caddy or a boy toy type 4 wheel drive SUV to go play on the beach with. Allow me to explain.
The town to the north of me is one of those little corners of the Earth where there is a used car lot at every other major intersection with muffler shops, auto body repair and tire shops in between. Toss in an appropriate amount of pawnshops and party stores then pave one main thoroughfare through the middle that presents an appropriately clean mix of chain stores in strip malls and you pretty much have Holly Hills. If you drove through on main highway you would never see the gritty under tone of the area this area that is adjacent to Daytona Beach.
The secondary thoroughfare is the main drag for the underground, the earthy reality of the daily world in Holly Hills. It is not only riddled with used car lots and pawn shops but, it is also the self employed working girls street used to proffer their wares. My ex was kind enough to drop off the Mercedes so I had a car to go car shopping with. I guess you can only circle around in a “john’s car” pulling over to look at used cars so many times before luck would have it that you pulled over by one of the many girls who kept giving you the nod. In my case there happened to be 2 hopeful hookers that thought I pulled over for them.
So these two little darlings come running up to the car. You should have seen the look on their faces when halfway to the car I got out. My getting out of the car confused them of course. Now they’re just standing there in a stressful situation wondering what this big man is doing getting out of the car? Being the flirtatious gentleman that I am, I raised my arms up to give them a big daddy bear hug and said, “ I’m sorry ladies , I was pulling over to purchase a slightly different kind of ride. Not that yours isn’t as appealing as that classic old Cadillac over there!” I turned and pointed to the big white Cadillac Deville sitting proudly in the front row of the lot.
The tension in the air immediately evaporated and both girls came up and gave me a big hug. After a bodacious group hug, I appropriately placed kisses on their foreheads and they voluntarily began sharing their opinions of the different cars on the lot. I explained the appeal of an SUV, my passion for fishing and my passion for old Cadillac’s. So here we are, the three of us, chatting up a storm in this used car lot as the ladies tell me of their experiences fishing and the younger suggests, “oh daddy, get a classy car”!
At this point a third girl was dropped off on the corner below us and waves hello with recognition to the two girls talking with me. As she starts her “stroll” up the street looking for her next client, she stops for a moment to chat and the other two girls, Melanie and Catherine, introduce me to the new girl. Somewhere in here the conversation made its way around to my explaining that I thought of my woman as my property and that it took quite a bit of thought to come up with a solution that satisfied both the gentleman and the owner in me when it came to choosing a vehicle. I explained that my woman was my partner in life and although as a gentleman I had been trained to open doors for a lady, it didn’t seem right as her owner to walk around out of my way to open the passenger door. I explained that as her Master, I would open my door and my property would enter the car through my door. This is satisfied the gentleman in me that is compelled to open the door for a lady and it satisfies the Master in me in that my property enters the car through my door. I also explained how having your woman go buns up kneeling every time she gets in your car is very healthy for the love life. I swear the one girl had a tear in her eye. She started talking about her boyfriend and how he took good care of her but treated her like property and they fought. Long and short of it, she ended up going home to fix things with her man.
So as I scoured the car lots I got to meet about half a dozen of the working ladies as I was stopped at the various lots and one that knew me would introduce some new girl to me. One even flagged me down when she saw the Benz rolling up. She leans over and says, there is an old Caddy in the back of the Riviera Used car lot down the road. I said, “in the back” … she smirked and said, “I was working”. We laughed our asses off and I joked about her being able to see over the dashboard.
I got back home to my townhouse in Daytona Beach about two hours ago. I was talking to GreedyTop on the phone when she asked me how my car shopping went today. I told her this story and she seemed rather amused. She is a wonderful girl and has great social skills, including being able to fake being amused I bet. Nonetheless, it inspired me to make this post.
… so that was my day so far . How was your day?
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edit - yeah yeah... I know... Type-Os again. Hey, I am doing the best I can. I installed voice recognition software so I don’t have to type with like a chicken hunting and pecking their way through the keyboard. It’s just every once in a while, the VRS gets a word wrong and I don’t catch it on the first read through.
< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 7/21/2008 8:06:34 PM >
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-=The Hookers of Holly Hills & Used Cars=- - 
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*911* ..... Halo... halo... "halp, there is this big guy and he sat in my little Miata. It got stuck on his ass and he is laughing himself to death. He got aggrivated and put his feet through the floorboards, then he stood up and is wearing my little car like a pair of clown pants. Now he is wallking around laughing even harder. You better hurry....... halp!"
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