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jamesthehumanrug -> RE: Mental Health Issues (11/15/2005 4:37:01 PM)
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greetings, happy s/m couple;
i made a commitment ,to be ,of the best service ;door ,to door ,to my dom(and ,my mother who was my first dom ,in my mind;the service was definately, for her, too...) ,so i had ,to drive a limo, and ,boy am i stupid-
i lived ,in my city -,lynn,ma.of 4000;all my life ,and, i still get lost !,
cause, i depend, on the dom sitiing there
telling me where, to go;every turn,
but ,when i sat ,and ,drove the limo ,as a private chaufeur,and,got spoiled ,forever ,by the way.... i wanted ,to be ,of the best service ,for her
her husband said: ok
this is the way you go(if youre a "keeper" what ever ,that means))
, and ,pick up the parties ,
and ,take their bags ,and ,the hat you wear .
i was silent;scared ,of west palm beach- four seasons ,and ,vagas casinos, but , i kept thinking ,of her(even found a long blonde strand ,of her hair, in the car ,and, focused on it ,and,hid it ,in the steering wheel case,if i lost confidence)... ,and ,i had, to memorize; immediately; one run -my way ,from massachusetts to conneticut, then nyny ,then r.i. ,and the same set pickup-points ,and as a passenger learning my route, i wrote down everything
like major landmarks ,
another dom. friend told me, to mark ,only big landmarks
not where i am,
but ,just the land marks(cause i was slave-transported ,after,that ,and ,it helped,or i would'nt even know i was transported)
,so i can go, to london (bigben),or maine(llbeans) ,glouster(the sailor statue),and, just do the" landmarks, "and ,there's no panic.
i got excited, at the first site, of the large denver airport,and ,said so ....this is where she is to be picked up...and this is where she frequents and knows...I'M HERE!!!!!!!!!!
...,only "mental-illness" i encountered ,IF ANY ,and, i certainly should have encountered a lot more considering our real ruff -circumstances ....was :
my top lost her mind screaming ,at me ,when there was no need, but, i found, out ;she was "an aritist",
and, always did, that ,on ANY set everyone filming was used ,to it........,and ,only time i did ,
("LOOSE MY MIND"),
and ,i told her ahead ,of time was:
ya i can be your floor anywhere ,but.... i'm DEATHLY afraid, of bugs....i have a collossal-irrational -huge-phobic-fear ,of bugs....romantic ,as it was, if there was a chance, of a bug-
even running solo somewhere ;
i was freaked,mindless- i studied bugs behaviors ,since i was in grammar school and read out loud about ants to my mother while she did the dishes,...and,it didnt matter how well i knew bugs inside out.... ,i ,just would get naked ,and ,immediately tried, to get ,as high ,as i could ;physically
closest ,to the ceiling,as i could get ....
i'd evacute !; abandon ship!!!
they could have the whole room ,
and ,eventually the whole house, if i did'nt track ,that one insect down ,and, kill it,
of i couldnt sleep,either until it was dead and had to keep all the house lights on for a day and a half...
no-sex ,either ,but ,her talk killed, that one fast....i don't know ,maybe, it's a necessary occassional catharsis due ,to stress...,but ,that's all ,for either, or :litteral-brakedowns....except the time i abandoned my bmw, with the tarantula in it ...
some sadist thot it was pretty funny;i'm sure....ya right who's NUTS!
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