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RE: Worthless - 7/29/2004 6:51:01 PM

iwillserveu

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I agree with you, but what do you expect I'd argue with the woman who can keep me in chastity?

Seriously, women's shelters are full of people who leave an abusive relationship. (Guessing at the motives of those that stay is tricky, but I bet many think they can change the abuser. Of course all universals are wrong and there is probably at least one who can not imagine anything better.)

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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Post #: 101

RE: Worthless - 7/29/2004 6:56:48 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

This is not true (based on my experience).

I have not personally experienced it, but I have spoken to hundreds of women who broke free of these sorts of relationships and many of them described their feelings while the abuse was going on..

Not my place to argue, I listen, I sometimes ask questions, I do my part to teach the class, and their path diverges from mine.

It is entirely possible that they can describe the door to freedom, point to it, walk up to it, and even open it, but they may not be able to get their mind around the idea that they could actually walk through it.

Just my opinion, but there ya go.

Sinergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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Post #: 102

RE: Worthless - 7/29/2004 7:59:03 PM

LadyBeckett

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quote:

It is entirely possible that they can describe the door to freedom, point to it, walk up to it, and even open it, but they may not be able to get their mind around the idea that they could actually walk through it.

If they get out alive, and sometimes they don't, it literally takes years to progress past the experience. One of the reasons, is because they were actually conditioned, for years, before entering the experience, which (depending on the age of the abused) was probably one of many such experiences (abusive relationships). And "talking about it", lol, they don't say even half of what they could, and should, to progress toward actually healing. And then, even after the groups, the therapy, and intercession, some of them go back to the abuser, or find another one. Why? That is where the "hopeless" comes in. They are damaged, and they still have within them all that they couldn't "talk" about, so they hide within what they know, and tell themselves that maybe it will get better.

quote:

Not my place to argue, I listen, I sometimes ask questions, I do my part to teach the class, and their path diverges from mine.

You teach a self-defense class. Is that correct? If so, that does a lot toward the possibility of saving a percentage of the participants lives. However, consider this: MAYBE 1 out of every 50 will use the skill they learn in that class when attacked by their abuser. Abused women protect their abusers. They have a language, and to reach them, one must speak, and understand it, fluently.

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Post #: 103

RE: Worthless - 7/29/2004 10:00:40 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

You teach a self-defense class. Is that correct? If so, that does a lot toward the possibility of saving a percentage of the participants lives. However, consider this: MAYBE 1 out of every 50 will use the skill they learn in that class when attacked by their abuser. Abused women protect their abusers. They have a language, and to reach them, one must speak, and understand it, fluently.

The average for women who are assaulted after taking the class drops precipitously, Lady Beckett. Largely because men who assault women target certain behaviors, and women who have taken the class I teach dont have those any more.

We teach women to be aware of their surroundings. That is a skill 99% of our students use the day they leave the class.

We also teach women to have boundaries, most of them use this skill as well.

The physical techniques? Sure, not many use them, but it is not because there are not men out there willing to assault them.

In 3 out of 4 cases, if a woman puts up any resistance at all the assailant flees. This resistance can be as much as saying "no."

Men who assault women want a target, a victim, somebody who will allow them to play the tape in their rat brain which says "I do X and she does Y and then I rape her." Break the cycle, he leaves to find somebody else who will play her role correctly.

Regarding the comments about getting past the experience, it sounds to me like we are saying the same thing with different words. I have no disagreement with the point you are making.

Just my opinion, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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Post #: 104

RE: Worthless - 7/30/2004 8:14:07 AM

ThornBlood

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

calling someone a worthless piece of shit can also carry the hidden message "but I love and want you anyway."

Smiles.. zactly Taggard. I know when I've been into verbal humiliation, there has always been that hidden meaning.

On the other hand, the person comes into the room, spills a drink, and is then called a worthless piece of shit has a whole different meaning entirely for me. All depends on the context I guess.

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RE: Worthless - 7/30/2004 8:26:34 AM

Sinergy

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quote:

On the other hand, the person comes into the room, spills a drink, and is then called a worthless piece of shit has a whole different meaning entirely for me. All depends on the context I guess.

From my perspective, which it and $4.00 will get you a cup of black coffee at Starbucks, the determining factor is how the subject feels after they are called those names.

Is the person better, more self-actualized, euphoric, ready to stand up and take on the world, giddy, happy, whatever?

Or is the person beaten down and feeling less of a person as a result of the verbal assault?

I am a firm believer in the ideal that one cannot build oneself up by beating others down.

Just my opinion, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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Post #: 106

a few replies...late as usual - 8/1/2004 8:55:47 PM

PassionateNights

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E-string....because you do not understand my point, does not mean there isn't one there.
And for the record one of my hard limits is gramatical correction

sub4hire: Yes i agree that there is a potential for degradation to be damaging to the person as a whole. Perhaps I mistakenly believe that there is a fiduciary responsibility on the Dominant to understand what a submissive can take and to push the limits without breaking them.
All things in moderation and in balance

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RE: a few replies...late as usual - 8/2/2004 2:53:15 AM

MistressDREAD

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quote:

And for the record one of my hard limits is gramatical correction

Good for You PassionateNights!

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RE: a few replies...late as usual - 8/30/2004 5:47:12 PM

MK007

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To MISTRESSES
Dread & Beckett :
MUST AGREE WITH YOU . I HAVE FOUND THOSE SUB/SLAVE LADIES IN MY OWN EXPERIENCE THAT TRULY ENJOY AND GET OFF ON HUMILIATION AND DEGRADATION . WHEN MATCHED WITH A DOM THAT IS WILLING TO MEET THAT NEED , IT CAN BE A MOST UNIQUE, INTERESTING , AND REWARDING EXPERIENCE !! THIS IS FROM MY HUMBLE PERSPECTIVE . REGARDS ALL AND THANKS FOR ALLOWING ME TO BE A SMALL PART OF THIS DISCUSSION . I TRULY ENJOY EXCHANGING IDEAS, TECHNIQUES , AND PHILOSOPHY WITH OTHER KINDRED SPIRITS IN THE SCENE !!!

MK007

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Post #: 109

RE: Worthless - 9/29/2004 11:33:16 AM

knees2you

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Words like that make me very sad.
I tend to shun myself from the real world~
Why anyone would even use those words, unless someone
enjoyed being called that~

Sincerely, eyesofAslave