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Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman whe... - 7/29/2008 10:48:00 AM

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In my experience, 99% (maybe 100%, not sure) of the emails I receive (in a flurry) when I log on here are all crap. I am sure all the other women experience this also - you log on, and suddenly the emails start popping up, new ones, sent from male subs who saw you were online and had to write immediately.

These seem to always be the short emails, the form emails, or the ones that did not read the profile at all. These are also always in a hurry, seeming to want to connect NOW (here's my IM, here's my phone number, can you chat with me right now?) -- this is the horny desperate guy syndrome at its fullest.

My advice to sincere subs who really want to connect - do NOT send an email to a lady who just logged on. Wait until she logs off. Or send it the next day. I worry that some subs may already be familiar with a woman's profile and just saw she was online and decide to write -- but their email comes in with all the other garbage from the horny guys who are looking to make some kind of a connection NOW and are emailing frantically to every lady that logs on with a picture. His email and thoughts, which may have been thought through over a period of time, still get lumped in with the others. It's better to stand out by sending it during a time she is not online so she can read it later. I almost always skip past all the emails that arrived within 5 minutes of my logging on and look for the ones sent the day before, when I was not online.

Akasha

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RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 10:51:27 AM

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sits waiting for you to log on...............sitting............................................still sitting and waiting...............................................................................................................

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 10:59:30 AM

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i must tell i've never paid attention to whether a Miss is logged in or not. To be sincere, i was more concerned about when a Miss was logged in the last time.

(in reply to housesub4you)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 11:06:19 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
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From: Chicago, IL
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i get the same from dominants too - as soon as i'm logged on, my in/spambox has messages from guys who want my yahoo/msn and/or my phone number (to determine if i'm real). yet they do seem to go away in a heartbeat when i tell them i don't give out personal info after the initial message.

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RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 11:13:02 AM

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It must be a woman thing. Us men don't get that. I confess that Im guilty of what the op said.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 11:17:12 AM

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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It's apparent several things are happening here. It's not just cause guys see a dominant logged on at the moment, but it also has a lot to do with the fact that someone who pays attention to the listings for which they have set the parameters is going to see someone closer to the top of the list, and it's going to intrigue them to respond once they see who the person is. I have my own filters set up to see a lot of different people, but every now and then I find myself completely intrigued by someone's profile that shows up at the top of the list. I've often never seen them before, and suddenly I'm taken aback, thinking, "wow, how come I've never ran across this wonderful woman before." Unlike others, I don't email her; I just acknowledge that someone different apperaed, and I leave it at that. But I can see how others are sitting there with the refresh button, and no amount of telling them NOT to contact you is really going to work because, for the most part, they don't read the message boards, or they read them while navigating with only one hand. It's one of those endless loops that never satiates the person who is trying to get ahead (from any angle).

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 11:23:57 AM

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What's worse is when they seem to sit and wait for you to log on and every time you do... there they are! I will take the spur of the moment...omg a mistress just logged on... I must send her my form letter or chat invite, over the one that sits stalkerisly waiting for an appearance. lol

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 11:48:01 AM

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Joined: 10/5/2004
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If it's well thought out, what does it matter if they send it while she is logged in or not? I don't care if I get a message when I'm logged in or if it comes while I'm logged out - as long as it shows that the person writing the message has actually read the profile.

Better advice (which probably won't do much good for guys who hang out on this side of the site, as most of them already do this) is to read profiles and be considerate and polite when messaging.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 7/29/2008 11:49:41 AM >

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RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 11:48:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

What's worse is when they seem to sit and wait for you to log on and every time you do... there they are! I will take the spur of the moment...omg a mistress just logged on... I must send her my form letter or chat invite, over the one that sits stalkerisly waiting for an appearance. lol

i just got a picture of a guy sitting in H/his chair, refreshing the list window and clicking the people who are appearing in top (without doubt there's always somebody online at the moment). if a guy has no patience to read a profile H/he probably doesn't have patience to wait for a certain P/person, but picks up those that are in the top of the list (simplest possible explanation). Of course there might be the other P/people that follow other patterns, but the main problem here, as it seems, is that M/males do not read the profiles completely nor are trying to show off a deeper interest for person they are contacting. A well known thing actually. However, everyone shall keep on mind that H/his well made message might be overseen because H/he was unlucky to send it when the P/person was online.

*edit*

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

If it's well thought out, what does it matter if they send it while she is logged in or not? I don't care if I get a message when I'm logged in or if it comes while I'm logged out - as long as it shows that the person writing the message has actually read the profile.

Thank You for that.

< Message edited by sillyslaveboy -- 7/29/2008 11:59:54 AM >

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 11:58:46 AM

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I will read an email that hits right after I log on. Of course I roll my eyes if I don't see them on who's viewing me and even if they are there, know they haven't had time to read my profile. I try to give everyone a chance to prove me a jaded bitch, but typically I remain a jaded bitch with reason. If the email contains something worthy... it is all good.

(in reply to sillyslaveboy)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 3:40:52 PM

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A couple of things. First, I am a dominant man, so I'm not positive that my opinion is desired, but here it is anyway.

1. I have in the past been accused of sending form-emails. I have NEVER done this. Not once. Every time I send an email I read her profile. But sometimes the profile is short/not-existent, so my email is not always personalized. If you truly dislike form emails, then make sure you have a long profile that talks about yourself. I'm always amazed at how short some profiles are.

2. It is not reasonable to expect guys not to email the people on top of the list first. If you start anywhere but the top chances are likely the guy will be emailing women that are no longer active on collarme.

3. You are dominant. So why don't you email the men and refuse to accept ANY unsolicited email from men. Do you want to be pursued? Do you think of yourself as the huntress or the prey? Yeah, I know it's easier to make the men do all the work. But if you think they are doing a crappy job and wasting your time then perhaps you should do it yourself and do it right.

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 3:56:09 PM

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From: Washington, DC area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

What's worse is when they seem to sit and wait for you to log on and every time you do... there they are! I will take the spur of the moment...omg a mistress just logged on... I must send her my form letter or chat invite, over the one that sits stalkerisly waiting for an appearance. lol

I've had several of those. They are rather annoying and I've ended up finally blocking them.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
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When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 4:00:10 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

A couple of things. First, I am a dominant man, so I'm not positive that my opinion is desired, but here it is anyway.

1. I have in the past been accused of sending form-emails. I have NEVER done this. Not once. Every time I send an email I read her profile. But sometimes the profile is short/not-existent, so my email is not always personalized. If you truly dislike form emails, then make sure you have a long profile that talks about yourself. I'm always amazed at how short some profiles are.

most of us do and they are not read

2. It is not reasonable to expect guys not to email the people on top of the list first. If you start anywhere but the top chances are likely the guy will be emailing women that are no longer active on collarme.

depends, but what is described in the OP is the norm, the minute I log on, the emails start popping up

3. You are dominant. So why don't you email the men and refuse to accept ANY unsolicited email from men. Do you want to be pursued? Do you think of yourself as the huntress or the prey? Yeah, I know it's easier to make the men do all the work. But if you think they are doing a crappy job and wasting your time then perhaps you should do it yourself and do it right.

What makes you think any of us don't? Besides, we are all allowed to pursue or not as we see fit. It doesn't mean we have to be subjected to a barrage of unwanted email on a daily basis, either way. I think you have NO idea what its like to be a dominant woman on this site. The amount of unsolicited email is amazing -- take a look in the ask a Mistress thread.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 4:03:05 PM

Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

My advice to sincere subs who really want to connect - do NOT send an email to a lady who just logged on. Wait until she logs off. Or send it the next day.

I would disagree. AFter all, most often you only show up on someone's front page when you log on.
However, sincere subs should make sure they wound that way. I dont care when I get the message IF it sounds like something real.

DV

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 5:02:19 PM

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<reads your second post and quickly sends...mail>

Ummm....whoopsssssss

(in reply to Madame4a)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 5:22:30 PM

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LOL... I don't know where to start of if I even should! lol

Form email senders do not read profiles. lol And my profile is very long... they have to come back again and again to read it all. Few get it in a first read. This hasn't cut down on form letters.

I have no problem with being emailed because I log in and someone can see me. However, I do have a problem with a man who doesn't give a damn about knowing me, emailing so that I can be his mistress dream maker or play toy. If you saw our emails, you would understand. If you don't understand, I am sure I have something posted in my journal.

As for your last paragraph... wow... My email is my email and I want it working for many reasons. I am not going to block everyone because of some idiot that wants to show me his cock and send form letters. I do not wish to be pursued or hunted. I do not pursue or hunt. I enteract with people and if we want to be beastly... way cool... but there is no hunt to it. I dare say, when a man is bound, he isn't doing much work. I do my fair share when it comes to all things.

We cannot control what some people send us in an email and we shouldn't have to block all email or be the one to always contact or be the one always contacted. There is no right way, so I have no idea what you are talking about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

A couple of things. First, I am a dominant man, so I'm not positive that my opinion is desired, but here it is anyway.

1. I have in the past been accused of sending form-emails. I have NEVER done this. Not once. Every time I send an email I read her profile. But sometimes the profile is short/not-existent, so my email is not always personalized. If you truly dislike form emails, then make sure you have a long profile that talks about yourself. I'm always amazed at how short some profiles are.

2. It is not reasonable to expect guys not to email the people on top of the list first. If you start anywhere but the top chances are likely the guy will be emailing women that are no longer active on collarme.

3. You are dominant. So why don't you email the men and refuse to accept ANY unsolicited email from men. Do you want to be pursued? Do you think of yourself as the huntress or the prey? Yeah, I know it's easier to make the men do all the work. But if you think they are doing a crappy job and wasting your time then perhaps you should do it yourself and do it right.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 5:32:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
I am not going to block everyone because of some idiot that wants to show me his cock

Um, Lockit and Madame4a? You have mail!

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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 5:33:27 PM

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OMG.. he really sent some! hehe I might be gone a while...

Hehe... it had a funny tickler thingy on it! woohooo!

< Message edited by Lockit -- 7/29/2008 5:35:33 PM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 5:36:43 PM

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quick reply............

when i used to be visible i didnt mind the occasional note from being noticed as freshly logged on. although, if it came before i switched over to this side of the site most often it was a mindless one liner. those few that showed up later usually had some substance to them. he hee, some even got an answer with substance!

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Advice to male subs: Don't send an email to a woman... - 7/29/2008 5:59:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

What makes you think any of us don't? Besides, we are all allowed to pursue or not as we see fit. It doesn't mean we have to be subjected to a barrage of unwanted email on a daily basis, either way. I think you have NO idea what its like to be a dominant woman on this site. The amount of unsolicited email is amazing -- take a look in the ask a Mistress thread.

I do have an idea of what it is like to be a dominant woman. Basically, you are drowning in people begging to be your slave. It's kind of like winning the lottery and then getting bombarded by 'investment professionals' that want to make tons of money for you.

Now, let me ask you this. If you had a choice right here and now to change the rules so that you get ONE email a month from a random man, would you do that?

Because that is the odds that most dominant men have. You have the choice to either ignore the tons of offers being given to you, searching yourself, or instead to weed through them.

But to actually complain about it? Don't expect any sympathy at all from anyone that is not in the exact same situation as you. Because quite honestly, your situation, while understandably annoying, is not something that any reasonable person would avoid.

In fact Carlos Mencia has a great skit about a similar situation. In it, he claims that the reason why men go to Strip clubs is not to see naked women. Instead it's to have women desperately trying to get the men's attention, the way men desperately try to get women's attention most of the time.

< Message edited by StrongSpirit -- 7/29/2008 6:02:45 PM >

(in reply to Madame4a)

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