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So...do you Yahoo? - 8/2/2008 6:20:18 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
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This post is being published just to try to find out what others' opinions are. It isn't intended to be a rant.

Recently, I've received e-mails from several Doms whose first or second e-mails eventually end with, "Do you have Yahoo?"

My response to this is usually, "Let's get to know each other a bit first, then go from there."

To some Doms, it may seem presumptuous of a submissive to try to lead what we do when, but for me, it isn't a matter of Dom vs. sub behavior. To me, it seems quite rushed and just a bit rude to want to go directly to online chat -- do not pass Go, do not collect...well, you know.

Maybe it's because I don't like to rush. Maybe it's because I'm Southern and a bit old-fashioned and believe that before I give someone my Yahoo ID -- which sometimes means at least an hour of online chat if all goes well -- I should know at least the basics about them first, to determine whether we're even remotely compatible.

I do realize that e-mail correspondence is somewhat sluggish, and it's easier to get to know about a person in real-time chat, but it seems to me that learning more about a person beyond a few cursory e-mails and the information that's in their profile is worth the time and effort BEFORE investing the time that's usually involved in chatting in real-time.

Have we become so accustomed to immediate gratification that this is now the norm? Or is this the sign of a very busy person who just wants to cut to the chase, or perhaps a bored or lazy person who is just looking for someone to connect with NOW? Do others find this behavior a bit rude, or think nothing of it? I know there isn't one simple, one-size-fits-all answer, I'm just curious if I'm in the minority in my opinion on this topic.

Thoughts?

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Post #: 1

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/2/2008 7:16:11 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I yahoo when I choose to yahoo and with whom I choose. If they don't like getting to know me through pm's or email then too bad. I don't live on yahoo, even when I use it, so it's not the best form of getting to know me/you, at least not in my case.

_____________________________

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(in reply to bamabbwsub)

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RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/2/2008 8:24:36 PM

BrokenSaint

Posts: 301
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline

I generally tend to leave things open. I let someone know I'm not the best at getting back to emails right away due to not checking mails here at work, and my mail provider spontaneously lately losing mails. Then I send them my im contacts. What they choose to contact me by I don't particularly care. IM is simply sometimes easier with which to get ahold of me, as I'm on it constantly at work, as well as having it up all the time at home.

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RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/2/2008 8:27:32 PM

coupleowl

Posts: 473
Joined: 7/4/2008
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Makes more sense just to chat here. I know fast chat is fun and all; and you can also close this site to have the little window open. But my instant message systems are for use with the other part of my life.

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Post #: 4

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/4/2008 7:23:14 PM

BrokenSaint

Posts: 301
Joined: 10/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: coupleowl

Makes more sense just to chat here. I know fast chat is fun and all; and you can also close this site to have the little window open. But my instant message systems are for use with the other part of my life.

That's the beauty of multi-clients. I have various sn's for different areas of my life. Though depending on the mood I'm in and how much I like someone, occasionally I just give them the main.

_____________________________

In the name of progress,
In the name of madness
Drum beats faster
Crowd shouts louder
and chaos replaces order
VnV Nation - Nemesis

(in reply to coupleowl)

Post #: 5

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/4/2008 8:31:12 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I'd rather go straight from email to meeting in person unless I met the person in chat (IRC, not Yahoo). A protracted song and dance just for the sake of doing a song and dance? Count me out. I might learn a wealth of interesting things about a person who after 30 minutes of face to face interaction I find myself no longer attracted to.

(in reply to bamabbwsub)

Post #: 6

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/4/2008 10:29:13 PM

Bethnai

Posts: 492
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline

I do the emails. I make arrangements to do yahoo. If I really want to. I think it takes way to much effort to skip the email, shoot to the chat, and then block someone when I could have easily just maintained email and then blocked them.

No, really, it depends on whether I think there is a good conversation to be had. One without awkward silences and such.

(in reply to bamabbwsub)

Post #: 7

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 12:45:11 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I refuse to give my yahoo nick to anyone until I am completely comfortable! I have had some problems with that. I made the mistake of using it for Literotica and they filled my email and sent messages until I blocked them all. There is a chat here they can use. If they want to rush, they can find someone else to rush along the path. Typically when someone does that, they won't respect other things and want pretty much one thing. What is wrong with using the chat here? I don't get why they do this.

(in reply to Bethnai)

Post #: 8

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 3:03:29 AM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

Yahoo! IM is a very handy tool for me to chat with others and keep in contact because I have it on while I work (multitasking for the win!). It provides a link to my web page to anyone I chat with, and its relatively safe in terms of internet security... All in all, its a win win.

I don't mind anyone I happen across asking me for my ID (I don't see asking as being rude at all), but I really only give it out to those I have a decent feel for, and who I think are pretty awesome in one way or another.

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RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 3:08:12 AM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I don't Yahoo, I MSN or AIM.

I also don't take the IM step until after a few e-mails to see where their mind is at and such. If they seem half way decent it goes to IM to chat and get to know them better. After that it goes to phone then meet or just meet. I find it easier to meet people after chatting with them on line first for a little while. You can get some sort of guess of their daily lives, how they hold a conversation and there their head is at and then decided to take it to person to find out more.

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Post #: 10

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 3:30:19 AM

MsAlaria

Posts: 31
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: Richmond, VA
Status: offline

I prefer to correspond via email a few times before moving to another method of talking. Usually by then I can tell if they are worth continuing to talk to.

To the OP, I think its quite rude to include IM information in their first email (especially when they cannot be bothered to say a simple hello first or give any indication that they've read my profile) and completely agree with your statement about "instant gratification". I won't go on a rant about the direction Society is headed though lol.

Alaria

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 11

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 4:19:33 AM

JulieorSarah

Posts: 552
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline

i tend to agree, i don't like leaving CM until i feel comfortable with them, and if i do then i would prefer to meet ...

(in reply to MsAlaria)

Post #: 12

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 4:56:21 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I don't do yahoo. Never have. I never liked it. If I move beyond cm with anyone I chat within gmail. It's far superior to yahoo in my opinion.

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Post #: 13

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 6:16:19 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I have yahoo. It is always open, though I rarely pay any attention to it. So, unless I am walking up to the computer and I have a message there or I notice someone there, I hardly ever use it.

Just don't have the time to sit in one place to talk to one person very long.

(in reply to bamabbwsub)

Post #: 14

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 6:30:30 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i get a lot of dominants giving me their yahoo and msn ids in the first message with you add me ...i don't like chatting here and now, give me yours lines. if i reply back, i automatically tell them that i prefer knowing more about them here before giving any personal chat info away. sometimes, they don't reply back ...other times, i get you're fake or you're just playing games to you can trust me ...i'm not going to ask you to cam unless you want to show me more of your breasts.

i like setting the pace as to when someone gets my yahoo/msn screenanmes. when i feel and think you deserve it, you'll get it but you won't get after the initial message.

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Post #: 15

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 8:13:15 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I can't tell you how many times I get the "do you yahoo?" or something like "message me on yahoo, here's my screen name", in initial emails, as if.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 16

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 8:18:19 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

I don't chat on yahoo or any of the other chat programs. I have gotten a few emails asking for my yahoo address and I just explain that to them. If they have a problem with it, oh well.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

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Post #: 17

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 8:21:06 AM

nhite

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

the chat on CM is not reliable by any measure so i dont consider it a viable option

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Post #: 18

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 8:24:51 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I've never had any issues with cm chat, although admittedly, I've only used it a few times.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to nhite)

Post #: 19

RE: So...do you Yahoo? - 8/5/2008 8:32:08 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

i loathe the chat feature on cm. i only chat on yahoo or aim. i think it may be the annoying emoticons...also it seems slow. i havent done the video chat at all...i barely cam at all other than to quickly prove that its me in my pic, and i hate to do that too.

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And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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Post #: 20

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