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TPEDaddyMaster -> RE: Just a simple question... (8/9/2008 6:23:47 AM)
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Random thoughts, in no particular order, based on a thorough read of some posts within this thread, and a brief "scanning" of others:
1) I second what I percieve to be an implication of Owner4SexSlave's post: that Masters (as opposed to Dominants) - like all well-adjusted people - prefer to have relationships with those who more compatible with themselves, without the "maximum overhead" associated with "getting someone from where they're at, to where the other person needs them to be". IMHO, by stating that you are a submissive within your profile, and stating in your original post that you seek a Master, you're creating a "gap" for yourself. As a true 24/7 TPE limitless DaddyMaster, I only seriously consider messaging those women on-line who state that they are (a) slaves, who (b) seek 24/7 TPE, and (c) have no limits (except, perhaps, those that their Master sets (and some - including Myself - do set limits. Masters like Me simply don't want to be (further) limited by our slaves)).
By stating that you are a submissive, you communicate to some (like Me) who distinguish a difference between "submissive" and "slave" that (a) you thought through the implications of placing "slave" on your profile, and there was *some* reason why you deliberately chose *not* to do so, and that, therefore, (b) you do *not* want guys like me messaging you, by implication.
My only point here: typically, submissives want Doms, not Masters.
2) Unlike Owner4SexSlave, and perhaps Leatherist and/or apiercedkitty, I don't necessarily think that the content of your profile implies that you are a "topping-from-the-bottom" or "bitchy" individual. I think your profile succintly-yet-accurately explains your personality, life situation, "relationship dillema", and (some) attractions/ preference in another. Those Dominants/ Masters who are sufficently self confident (without exerting effort for such) will have no problem whatsoever with the prospect of approaching you, ensnaring you with their personality... Then bringing you down to size.
3) [Addressing a general "personal pet-peeve" here...] Some Dominants/ Masters, myself included, who consider ourselves physically attractive, will nonetheless not provide photos of ourselves either within a public-facing profile or within an initial message, for privacy reasons. Some of us have high-powered jobs, or are otherwise highly visible within the professional world, where any slight on ones character (whether true or percieved) could lead to one's downfall within a highly competitive arena. Some of us have neighbors, and would not like to see our "behind closed doors" preferences revealed to our local vanilla communities (some of whom would socially villify or ostracize us immediately). Some of us need to feel/percieve (whether accurate or not) that we can "trust" the person on the other end of the virtual line before we go so far as to destroy the cloak of anonymity that is the only protection that some of us have from the stigmas within society that have prevented some of us within the kink community of pursuing that which has been so deep a part of us. Some of us have no problem with exchanging photos in the early stages of a dialog, once one-on-one, mutual trust is established... But not before then. Said more simply, our privacy is simply too important to place our anonymity at such risk, given our position in life. And I respectfully comment to CruelDesires that a Dominant/Master may want to not provide a photo for reasons other than the idea that they would be "intimidated" at the prospect (see above for rationale).
4) Some people (including Myself) search for prospects that are "willing to relocate". (You do not have this option "checked" within your profile.) You may not be on some people's "radar" as a direct result of this. Given my personal preferences (which are exceptionally specific - moreso than I have shared above), I have no choice but to search globally. Therefore, anyone who does not state "willing to relocate" (and is not local to me) communicates to me that they cannot (or will not) move outside of their area - even if they found "The Perfect Master/Dom" for them - for some reason (whether it be schooling, ties to family/ friends, personal preferences, etc..). Bear this in mind.
5) I agree with the implication of MidMichCowboy, and disagree with katie 978's implication to the contrary, that most of the better people on here do look beyond the photos when reviewing profiles. And you are likely to get more e-mail as a result of your having your photos up. I also don't think they're too racy or sexual in nature (I've seen "far worse"; relatively speaking, they're quite classy...). All that being said, I stand by my previous comments to the effect that you're possibly preventing yourself from talking to some quality prospects by requiring photos of them before mutual trust can be established.
6) Even while accounting for your post that states that you are a highly sexual individual... Assuming that your profile remained as-is, I agree with DarkSteven, StrongSpirit, katie978, and Solipsistic that you should seriously consider adding more non-sexual (read: items with non-sexual implications, as Bust Magazine has sexual implications, although you place it on non-sexual list) items of interests and preferences within your profile as a barometer for holisitic compatability. Many of us on this board are highly sexual individuals; but man (or woman) cannot live on sexual relationships alone, as those never endure. Some of us have learned this the hard way. The higher quality prospects will take a more balanced approach. I agree with raveonette that perhaps injecting a bit of humor into your profile would go a long way towards expanding the dimensions of yourself that are exposed to others through your profile. That being said, only do so if such is consistent with your own personality (some women cannot easily conjur up humor by their general nature... And that's perfectly Okay, presuming they are being true to themselves...)
7) By far, the most important requirements of your profile is that it accurately reflect who you are. Said another way, you **must** be yourself, at all costs. If you have limits, in that you are aware of select kinks/fetishes/perversions that you would lever do, and that you could never envision any Master (even your "Perfect One") ever pushing you beyond... Then by all means, leave your profile as "submissive". If you cannot see yourself ever moving outside Chicago for any reason within the next 12-18 months, don't flag your profile "willing to relocate". If you cannot envision talking to anyone before mutual trust is established, without first seeing their picture, then by all means, leave this requirement in. But bear in mind that your profile will therefore succeed in doing exactly what you intend for it to do: weed out incompatible prospects... Including myself. Which brings me to my next point...
8) Make sure that your profile accurately "frame" the boundaries and extents of who you are, and be as thorough in your efforts to ensure accuracy and clarity as much as possible, for the "law of unintended consequences" can sometimes (often?) assert itself (the fact that you may be preventing attractive Masters from contacting you because they need to preserve their privacy until they feel comfortable doing otherwise being a key example). Heed RedMagic1's comments in this regard: it's clearly illustrative of what I'm referring to here. Leatherist's comment that "you will have pretty much what you ask for" is also relevant here.
9) Otherwise, I agree with masterofdrkness2, kinkypully2, Solipsistic, RealSub58, and Daes (my apollogies in advance to those I left out) that, once you've heeded (7) and (8) above, you'll need to give the process time. Perhaps the two-year old profile that you previously deleted was not as thoroughly descriptive as the one you now have up? And given that others on this thread are implying through their replies that perhaps even your current one is not comprehensive/ thoroughly descriptive enough, perhaps it could use some improvement to accellerate the process a bit further. But otherwise, once you've "been yourself" (7), and ensured that your profile accurately and clearly (8) reflects your holistic personal preferences (6, 4, 2, and 1), you have to bear in mind that not all quality prospects (and you have to seperate them from the "quantity" first...) are compatible with you, and sometimes it takes exploration of the quality contacts to determine such compatibility... And all of this takes time. Your 2-year-plus search is not atypical, as kinkypuppy attests and realsub58 alludes to (I can vouch for this, also).
And I disgree with NumberSix: I think you've been quite respectful in your replies to others. And as far as I'm concerned, your only obligation is to be respectful to others (as opposed to not disagreeing with them), as you are not yet "owned" by anyone, and you therefore are free to disagree with whomever you wish (respectfully, of course), until such time as you are Owned. After that, similar behavior should be dictated by your Dom/Master (presuming they have a preference). But until then, all on this board should consider that (a) you are a free woman, with free-will; and (b) given the gravity of the decision you have to make, you have every right to be selective, free-speaking, thought-provoking... And even provocative. I, personally, don't see any of this as "topping from the bottom" or being "bitchy". It's taking the gravity of future decisions to be made seriously and thoughtfully.
I also agree with L8bloomer that, although it is ideal to have attractive, prospective Masters/Dominants contact you, given the extent of your desire to find the right Master/Dominant for you, there's nothing wrong with "defying traditional courting convention" and seeking out the right Master/Dominant for you, then contacting them when you see one that appears holistically compatible with yourself. Her advice about not necessarily judging a book by it's cover is good advice, also; that being said, you are both young and sexually-intense, so I don't completely "blame you" for that. (Although I find myself agreeing with elements of MusicalBoredom's entry, I have to ultimately disagree with His root point: there's nothing wrong in reaching out to people, whether you are "looking" or not...)
In closing, you seem to be an exceptionally attractive submissive, in a holistic sense. The right Dominant who ensnares your heart, body, and soul will be exceptionally fortunate, indeed. I Wish You All The Best as regards your search.
Take care, littleone...
- TPEDaddyMaster
P.S. I guess I did a bit more than "scan" through all the other posts, huh?! ;-)
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