willowspirit -> RE: Slaves who are subs (8/6/2008 10:59:14 PM)
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Sorry, coming into this late, but I read pages 1,2 & 5. Common sense, and a bit of logic, hopefully still apply to the English language. Words have definitions. It's how we communicate. It has to has some logic to it. Though I tend to agree with Philospher13 on some points, BUT I feel he has the terms submissive and bottom confused. A bottom usually negotiates a scene with a Top -- and, thus, is more in control. I'm a submissive by fact of my core personality. Genetics have some sort of influence on it. It's not a role I play. (In fact, I try to hide my true self, and the phoney act is the more dominant intellectual persona I put out.) Example of submissive core: I make a lousey bottom because I don't ask for things very well. I also have trouble getting out of a scene that is going badly. I haven't been able to "safeword", and I tend to leave my body like the way a rape victim might... to escape something bad. Subspace is a TOTALLY different experience for me. My "escape place" when an encounter goes bad is a very sad and alone place. Yes... so by definition of personality traits -- I am a submissive. But, I tend to explain to the guys who contact me claiming they are a "Master" that "Master" and "slave" are relationship words. Having a "slave heart", or having the desire to be one doesn't make me one. I am not a slave only by the fact that I am not OWNED -- AND I would need to study and learn my Dominant One's needs, desires, ways of doing things, etc. , and I would need to make that commitment. I would also need to petition my (future) Dominant One to accept that complete responsibility of ownership of me as His slave. This is one HUGE BIG GIGANTIC deal ! I can NOT take this on without His acceptence of this responsibility. No Way can I do this myself... alone. Likewise --- unless a "Dominant" has been recognized by the community as being the possessor of some special skill, like use of the bullwhip, or fireplay, or piercing, or something -- And they bestow the title of Master of (said skill) on the Dominant .... --- OR --- that Dominant One already owns a slave. The Dominant has "mastered" knowing almost everything possible about their submissive one, and the submissive has accepted the Dominant as "Master" --- then it makes sense being called "a Master". It's sorta like the basic power exchange ---- "Master" and "slave" are honors we give to E/each other. Like respect -- it is EARNED .
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