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I need your help - 7/29/2004 9:58:04 AM

ownmemaster

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/23/2004
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How much time is too much time online? A potential Master friend of mine I think wants to regulate my online life. Is this a red flag or what?

Thanks everyone.

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RE: I need your help - 7/29/2004 10:29:02 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownmemaster

How much time is too much time online?

Like any hobby/compulsion/addiction how much is too much depends on the person and their situation.

Is the time spent negatively impacting their job, family life, hygene, personal relationships, health? Do they get online instead of going to work? Do the get online and leave the kids at ballet class for 3 hours? Do they get online and only get an hour or two of sleep every night?

The other question to ask is what is the purpose of the "limitation"? Is it a measure of control (and is that kind of control not desired?)? Or is it because it is "best" for the sub? (Or is it a mix of the two?)

I certainly don't see any red flags, just a need for more communication.

Yours,
Taggard

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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

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RE: I need your help - 7/29/2004 10:53:00 AM

Leonidas

Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
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If he's not your master, you don't have to listen to him if you don't want to. If he is your master, regulating just about anything you do isn't a "red flag". In your profile, you say you want a man who'll put you in a cage, and only let you out to fuck you, let you relieve yourself, and slop you, but you're on here whinning because someone wants to regulate your online time? You might need to rethink your priorities, darlin'.

Here is another unsolicited tip for you. Your profile reads like a long list of commands. A dominant man worthy of the characterization is probably going to blow by you like you were three day old road-kill in the sun. If you've been wondering why you're overrun with pleas for your attention from girlie-men, there is a clue for you.

Not to worry, it is typical to still be trying to figure out what you want to be in this life when you're 22. Hang in there, you'll figure it out.

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

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RE: I need your help - 7/29/2004 12:17:36 PM

ScorpioMaster

Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
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The kinds of red flags you need to be concern about is when they isolate you from contact with your friends and local munch groups you would attend regularly. To restrict one's internet activity is normal if you are eating up allot of your free time on the net instead of servering sir.

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RE: I need your help - 7/29/2004 1:42:55 PM

ShadowHwk

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownmemaster
How much time is too much time online? A potential Master friend of mine I think wants to regulate my online life. Is this a red flag or what?

Ok… a couple of things seem out of place here.

The biggest one… “A potential Master”. This statement implies that you haven’t submitted to him at this point. If he is actively seeking to take control, and you haven’t yet agreed to follow his lead… then that might be a potential red flag. Is he attempting to control how much time you spend online, or what you do while you are online? These are two very different things. If he is attempting to control what you do online – what is his intent? Is it to keep you from meeting someone else?

On the other hand, if you have agreed, even in a limited fashion to follow his guidance, and he thinks your spending too much time on line for your own good, then he is well within his rights, rights that YOU have given him, to limit such. I am guessing, though I may be wrong, that is probably where you are coming from. You have accepted tentative control, and now that he is exerting it, you balk. And you want someone to support your position that you shouldn’t have to have limits imposed.

I agree with the comments the others have posted. If his intent is to isolate you from other members of the community then that could be a red flag; your profile suggests quite strongly that you want a man to take and claim you. If that is not what you want then you might consider changing your profile. A very wise person once told me: “Be careful what you ask for – you just might get it”.

Just my .02

Peace and Light
Terry

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RE: I need your help - 7/29/2004 6:36:38 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

Is this a red flag or what?

Midear Ownme-

I think that M. Taggard answer the question as well as any might, but having some experience with the subject I did want to chime in.

I was in a relationship with a girl who would be up, online, way past the hours she should have been asleep. As the prime directive in my relationships is always Protect My Property, I had some issue with this. It was impacting work, school and my enjoyment of our relationship. It sure wasn't making her happy in anyway.

I set up some rules for online time for her, which, with some disscussion and editing, she accepted. We set up a clear set of times and time limits, some things that had to be finished before going on line, and penalties for violations (some of the penalties were violations, come to think of it<eg>).

It worked well. I rarely do this sort of thing, and have a certain horror of having to treat someone I am in a relationship with like a child, but it did work, and it broke through a limit for both of us.

If you think your online time is OK, and he doesn't well, maybe you'd best keep his status in the potential list current a bit longer<g>.

On the other hand, I tend to nag my friends about things sometimes. I'd more likely be suggesting other uses for the time you spend with your face in the box, If it was a friend I was worried about.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: I need your help - 7/29/2004 6:48:07 PM

cheeba0228

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/27/2004
From: Detroit
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I think a more accurate question then is this a red flag is needed. Example: Why does he want to restrict your time on the net, is it for his own selfish reasons? Is it because he believes you are in some way harming yourself or your life by all the time you spend online? Or is it because he wants that time to be spent with him? Answer just one of these and I think you'll have your answer for if its a red flag or not. but I agree too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

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RE: I need your help - 7/29/2004 11:03:50 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I have to agree with Leonidas on this one. Your profile seems to suggest you want to be completely controlled. And yet here you are whining about your online use being regulated? I think the red flag is being waived by you. I hope this Dom sees it.

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RE: I need your help - 7/30/2004 7:17:23 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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please excuse My post on Your boards Masters

a Potential Master Freind? This tells Me that He does not Own you and yet He desires to control your actions? Yes Id say a red flag. Its one thing to have a Master or Mistress desire for You to address them in commonality properly in protical and wholly another for Them to tempt to take control of you when not actually Owning you. if you have not signed a contract or concensually given your self to Him and became His posession if it is a command it is not right. That is how it sounds to Me in your writing. keep in mind however that many Owners do not even allow their posessions on the computer as it takes away from their attention to their state of enslavement . If you desire to obey this Master I suggest a complete contract to the fact with your desires and limits on it so that there is no grey areas on both of Your parts and you show in word as well as He what you will accept or not.
On the other hand.......
If He is simply telling you as a freind that your on the computer to much , as a freind think about His words and if you feel He is right simply cut down.
JMO

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RE: I need your help - 8/2/2004 10:34:36 PM

MastersControl

Posts: 31
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownmemaster

How much time is too much time online? A potential Master friend of mine I think wants to regulate my online life. Is this a red flag or what?

Thanks everyone.

Hmmm, you do need help!!!! After reading the responses, I had to look at your profile. Do you seek to be a doormat? You need to revise what you truly seek, and make it realistic. What are your needs and desires? You may need to revsit the profile builder again, because any "Real" Dom who cares for his sub/slave isn't going to stop and reply. You do give commands, and yet you give commands that may or may not be good for you. My sub/wife looked at it and made a comment that you need to be careful what you ask for, you might just get it... and then you could be in real trouble if the man isn't who he says he is, you could be hurt or maybe even dead.

Please be careful, you are 22 and have a whole life to explore, if you don't get the wrong man. Remember patience is parmount to safety. Be safe, sane and let it be consentual!!!! Don't settle for another HNG!!!

MC

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A Master is not a title, it is what a slave calls her trusted Dom. The true Masters of the past were trained, and given the name, not given the title by self-proclamation.

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RE: I need your help - 8/2/2004 10:53:10 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownmemaster

How much time is too much time online? A potential Master friend of mine I think wants to regulate my online life. Is this a red flag or what?

Thanks everyone.

You are 22 years old and according to your profile you are seeking "total control". How much time do you spend online? Too much? Slaves seek Masters to "regulate" everything in their lives. If you consider him a "potential" Master, and/or a friend I wouldn't see a red flag. At least not with the suggestion to perhaps curb or cut down on your internet time. Perhaps a more realistic balance with real life isn't such a bad idea.

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Lady Beckett

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"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

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RE: I need your help - 8/2/2004 11:01:23 PM

afmvdp

Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
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And again, we see the problem inherant in the system. ;)

Why do potential subs like to talk about their desires like they were in scenes from Roots but you ask them to bend over and touch their toes and they scream invasion of rights. haha. Next profile try "I like to be spanked and wear tiger print handcuffs with matching blindfold. And omg Bettie Page is hot!"

< Message edited by afmvdp -- 8/2/2004 11:02:33 PM >

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