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new to the life helpp - 11/19/2005 3:50:36 PM

bigdaddyjohn74

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

ok im new to the life always enjoyed and demanded a certain amount of submissiveness from my partners but never thought of myself as a dom i met a woman that i truly care for that is into the d/s lifestyle im wondering if i need to do anything differently for her to keep her satisfied in her rols and mine right now its very new to me and im slightly concerned with going to far too fast so any advice would be appreciated

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/19/2005 3:58:39 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Youa re probably gonna get a lot of replies like this but...just talk to her.

(in reply to bigdaddyjohn74)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/19/2005 4:02:52 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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read more, get the boards down, find yourself. The one paragraph or sentnece quick-fix ain't here. Be wary of those who offer you advice (such as me). Daddy/littlegirl by example, my sources (and they are reliable.......for those who care to check (girl4u2 is my source) claim not unreasonably that the Daddy/littlegirl thread (also called ageplay) kinda cycles around here once a month.......read up on what's been said over time. Post questions that haven't been answered ad nauseum. Don't ask why it says vanilla next to your name. Any other interest? Search it here, and elsewhere, go to www.greenerypress.com and pick out some of the books you like, John Warren (first craftsman I ever owned) is an author that many people respect, and many don't--you decide-- he has a look-alike on this site but it can't be him because he ain't got no spaces in his name........ you see people with 1-500 posts plus...see what they say, if they didn't have ideas that were worth listening to, they woulda been run off here long ago. Put 'er in the chips and grind it out....come to you and find yourself........

Y'all have a good trip now, hear?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to bigdaddyjohn74)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/19/2005 4:17:10 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
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if you dont say what you like she wont either but you study her till you know and do something!

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I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to slavejali)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/19/2005 4:22:19 PM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
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stop..look..listen..ask questions...learn to crawl before you try to run..and generally just enjoy the journey you're on...

as to mnottertail: thanks for letting me know my wisdom grows with every post...lol

see I'm smart enough to know you always lick your finger before sticking it in the outlet...

(in reply to mnottertail)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/19/2005 4:51:00 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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MHF,

I will say it out plain, I pretty much have enjoyed every one of your posts I have ever ran across. You give sound advice in my opinion.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/20/2005 8:25:38 AM

daredevil865

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/9/2005
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well I think You are starting ahead of alot of people ...saying that You are new and concerned with going too fast...it is difficult for many people, espically Doms, to admit they do not know it all......My advice ...go slow..ask questions...read lots...and determine what is right for You...the hard part comes once You are in the lifestyle for a while (for some it is only mere months, for others it may be many years) and You start to think You know it all...that when You get into trouble...

enjoy the ride

DareDevil

quote:

ORIGINAL: bigdaddyjohn74

ok im new to the life always enjoyed and demanded a certain amount of submissiveness from my partners but never thought of myself as a dom i met a woman that i truly care for that is into the d/s lifestyle im wondering if i need to do anything differently for her to keep her satisfied in her rols and mine right now its very new to me and im slightly concerned with going to far too fast so any advice would be appreciated

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DareDevil

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

If I had to explain it...you wouldn't understand

(in reply to bigdaddyjohn74)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/21/2005 8:59:33 AM

bigdaddyjohn74

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/17/2005
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ty all for the advice its hard for me to decide at this point if i should even ask questions as to some this may be considered a weakness in a dom but to me if you dont ask you will never know ty for the advice

(in reply to daredevil865)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/21/2005 9:10:35 AM

JohnWarren

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Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bigdaddyjohn74

ty all for the advice its hard for me to decide at this point if i should even ask questions as to some this may be considered a weakness in a dom but to me if you dont ask you will never know ty for the advice

Let me assure you it is never a weakness to ask a question. With over forty years in the scene and five books to my credit, I still don't hesitate to ask the advice of others. No one knows everything and certainly new points of view are always useful.

Of course you have to remember that the answers you get you might not like.

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www.lovingdominant.org

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/21/2005 5:20:03 PM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Youa re probably gonna get a lot of replies like this but...just talk to her.

simple but so true have to agree talk to her

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~love a Man in control~

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/21/2005 8:16:15 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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Just be confident in yourself and your decisions.

You think things are going to fast? Well you are the Dom. Slow things down and say "This is how it's going to be untill I say so otherwise" Her happiness is important and so is yours. For the most part there is no right or wrong way. Just your way.

So whatever you do or say, mean it with confidence and dominance. That will keep her more happy than just about anything else you can do. After all, it's dominance and confidence that she's attracted to. Even if some things will occur that dosen't go her way, she'll still trust, love, and respect you and be happy that a choice or Rule was made and reinforced as well.

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/21/2005 11:16:07 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Just be confident in yourself and your decisions.

You think things are going to fast? Well you are the Dom. Slow things down and say "This is how it's going to be untill I say so otherwise" Her happiness is important and so is yours. For the most part there is no right or wrong way. Just your way.

So whatever you do or say, mean it with confidence and dominance...

Julia Child said that however something comes out of the kitchen, you serve it as if that's the way it's SUPPOSED to look. lol Enjoy the ride.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/22/2005 12:41:28 AM

SirButchTX

Posts: 29
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I'll throw a few points out that I've discovered over the years; some thru continual study with my Mentor, some I picked up on my own, others were picked up here and there at different events or dungeon parties and such.
1. Know Thyself
2. Follow Through, Follow Through, Follow Through
3. The only stupid question is the one you did not ask.
4. (this one may get argued into the ground) A Dom is not a Dom without a sub.
5. Keep it simple
6. Communicate everything...not just BDSM related
7. When in Doubt...Don't
8. Raise the bar slowly but steadily
9. Allow your shortcomings to become learning tools
10. Enjoy yourself

These are in no particular order, so don't go flaming me cause I put communication at 6.

SirButchTX

(in reply to Misstoyou)

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RE: new to the life helpp - 11/22/2005 8:20:48 AM

Webmaster60

Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
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quote:

i met a woman that i truly care for that is into the d/s lifestyle im wondering if i need to do anything differently for her to keep her satisfied in her rols and mine right now its very new to me and im slightly concerned with going to far too fas

If she is also relatively new, one thing you can almost count on is that wherever she is now will probably change. As you grow together, new doors will open, new education, new idea's.

One thing to remember, is that the control needed by one girl is not whats needed by another. The largest problem I see out there is when a girl needs more control and structure than what she gets from her Master. Worst thing is a girl not firmly held in her bondage.

bottom line? COMMUNICATION.. open honest communication about needs wants etc is paramount.. Keep the communication going, and make the investment, it will pay off.

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to bigdaddyjohn74)

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