RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (Full Version)

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Evility -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 3:30:16 PM)

I don't want her to fear for her safety or well being but beyond that caveat I love her fear. It's the one thing that drives me. I seek out sadistic activities that exploit her fear. The run of the mill stuff (like impact play) has little to do with what we do when we play. During the rest of the day there is no fear. You might not distinguish us from any other couple in love.



littlewonder -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 3:33:47 PM)

I couldn't imagine being with someone that I feared. It's just not something that attracts me to someone. I don't want to live my life always feeling like I'm walking on glass.

There are times when I may be afraid of something he does to me but it's not him I fear. It's that momentary fight or flight that kicks in but passes after the event is over.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 4:01:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Do you want them to fear you?

Why yes or no?

If so, all the time or just during intense edge play?

How does fear factor in your relationship outside of the BDSM activities?

Anything else you can think of on the subject......

For me it's just something I enjoy as a kink.  Fear will occur in life elsewhere of course, but I do not want to create or initiate it.  I've never seen fear useful in the long term.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 5:15:05 PM)

Fear has no place in my relationships.  I want my women to know the only person who should know fear is anyone who attempts to lay a hand on them or to interfere in them.  I want them to feel safer with me than with anyone else they have ever been with, period, safer emotionally, physically, and I am working on financially, although that is still a ways off, hell I even want them to feel safer when they dream.



coupleowl -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 5:18:38 PM)

I don't want my sub to fear me. However I do believe that she should be a afriad of disappointing me. 



OrionTheWolf -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 5:41:27 PM)

I wish for my property to have a reverant fear of me. Basically a fear of not being pleasing or angering me. My greatest punishment towards her is showing my disappointment usually, though she has had her ass and feet strapped a few times.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I was just reading a post in the sub/slave section asking whether or not they feared their dominant. Which made me wonder how the dominants felt about fear in their sub/slaves.

Do you want them to fear you?

Why yes or no?

If so, all the time or just during intense edge play?

How does fear factor in your relationship outside of the BDSM activities?

Anything else you can think of on the subject......



opposingtwilight -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 5:43:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Fear has no place in my relationships.  I want my women to know the only person who should know fear is anyone who attempts to lay a hand on them or to interfere in them.  I want them to feel safer with me than with anyone else they have ever been with, period, safer emotionally, physically, and I am working on financially, although that is still a ways off, hell I even want them to feel safer when they dream.


I melted a little when I read this. :)



KnightofMists -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 5:45:15 PM)

I want them to fear my disappointment in them

I do not want them to fear the lost of my undying love for them

I want them to fear what I could do to them

I do not want them to fear that I would intentionally harm them.

I want them to fear the pain of being without me

I do not want them to fear that I would abandon them.

I want them to fear Disobedience to me.

I do not want them to fear my Authority.



Racquelle -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 5:49:53 PM)

I don't want fear so much as my boy or girl knowing I will follow through on what I have warned them I will do.  Using some fear for a temporary mindfuck can be fine, but on an ongoing basis, I mostly just want everyone to have a good time and be happy.



chicagoswitch -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 5:53:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Fear has no place in my relationships.  I want my women to know the only person who should know fear is anyone who attempts to lay a hand on them or to interfere in them.  I want them to feel safer with me than with anyone else they have ever been with, period, safer emotionally, physically, and I am working on financially, although that is still a ways off, hell I even want them to feel safer when they dream.


That is absolutely beautiful.  What a lucky woman.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 5:59:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I want them to fear my disappointment in them

I do not want them to fear the lost of my undying love for them

I want them to fear what I could do to them

I do not want them to fear that I would intentionally harm them.

I want them to fear the pain of being without me

I do not want them to fear that I would abandon them.

I want them to fear Disobedience to me.

I do not want them to fear my Authority.


Well said Sir!



LaTigresse -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 6:52:46 PM)

I agree Michael, excellent post KoM. I think you've come closest to putting into words what I've been trying to work through since reading the other thread.

For some reason fear itself isn't something I've ever given alot of thought to, even though is does have a place in some aspects of all of this. Regardless of the individual and their unique relationship.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 7:11:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I want them to fear my disappointment in them

I do not want them to fear the lost of my undying love for them

I want them to fear what I could do to them

I do not want them to fear that I would intentionally harm them.

I want them to fear the pain of being without me

I do not want them to fear that I would abandon them.

I want them to fear Disobedience to me.

I do not want them to fear my Authority.

I know what you're saying and where you're going with it and how it works for you- but it doesn't for me.  My problem is that my partner DOES fear those things, and the fear prevents him from taking necessary risks.  He fears disappointing me to the point where he will repress what he knows is right for him- which ultimately makes none of us happy.

So no fear, of any sort.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 7:22:01 PM)

No fear.  Excitement, yes, anticipation, yes, but not fear, not ever.

I need my relationships to be a safe haven, not a place where I have to protect my partner from *me*.



Leatherist -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 7:34:26 PM)

I want them to have adoration for the vision that our collective is based on.
 
And to fear in themselves-the reaper that kills bright futures.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 7:56:27 PM)

quote:

Do you want them to fear you?

Why yes or no?

Afraid of things I don’t want them to be afraid of, no.  In fact, I will work to overcome phobias and personality weaknesses that create unwanted fears.  I want them to love me, trust and be comfortable with me not afraid. 
quote:

If so, all the time or just during intense edge play?

But fear for other reasons like edge play… oh yes.  In fact, terror is ok!  Cry for me baby, mascara stained cheeks, quivering lips, shaky hands, trembling voice, weak knees, quickened pulse, shallow panting breaths, puffy red eyes and a dripping wet pussy are hawt!
quote:

How does fear factor in your relationship outside of the BDSM activities?

The list is long.  Normal relationship fears.  I am as motivated by fear as my partner.  If someone values the relationship and their roles within it, fear (not terror) is often *partly* a motivation not to lose it.  It motivates us both to use that little bit of extra care and respect that shows they are important and you care more about them than the rest of the world.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 8:34:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I want them to have adoration for the vision that our collective is based on.
 
And to fear in themselves-the reaper that kills bright futures.





ChainedExistence -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 8:46:07 PM)

I love fear...I love feeling my heart beat hard in my chest...I love being NOT QUITE SURE ...I love seeing the fire burn in his eyes..love the way my own excitement feeds off my fear till I am shaking, till I am sobbing,  till I am nearly paralyzed. I love feeling small and timid and afraid. Now deep down in my heart of hearts I know I can entirely trust him...but on the surface ....the fear is simply exquisite.



Leatherist -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 9:05:38 PM)

this is fear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1JwVGZO6LY



SimplyMichael -> RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear (8/13/2008 9:07:55 PM)

I think there is a vast difference between "living in fear" and "getting wet over fear"...



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