Slaves and subs support

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Slaves and subs support

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Slaves and subs support

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Slaves and subs support - 11/20/2005 8:12:17 PM

Simian

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

I have asked this question to the Ask a Mistress forum, with no response. I have been thinking it maybe better to ask a fellow sub as you will have a similar prespective or maybe experiences.

Question:

I am confussed about emotional boundaries in BDSM especially when old vanilla relationships between Mistress/sub become strictly BDSM again. I am at present entering into an unknown territory, where the Mistress is wanting me but still very much emotionally attached to an ex vanilla/slave. I can no longer fantaize about her because I see his anamtomy between us.

I am having second thoughts as some of the boundaries are blurred for me. I dont want to become emotionally attached or vanilla with a Mistress even if its been suggested as a possiblity, especially if she has a polyamourus lifestyle happening. I would prefer to keep my relationship with her as a Mistress/sub, but feel scared I may develop a deeper wanting.

Is it possible for a sub to not be overly attached to the Mistress?
How can I excercise a clear definative boundary between desire and self preservation?

I am romantically weak she likes this but I am afraid for my emotional wellbeing.
simian

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Slaves and subs support - 11/20/2005 8:19:09 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Simian
Is it possible for a sub to not be overly attached to the Mistress?

Yes.

Is it possible for you? I don't know.

quote:

How can I excercise a clear definative boundary between desire and self preservation?

More than anything TALK TO HER. Show her this post. Work this out NOW.

Otherwise, just understand that love is never enough to make a relationship work long term. Understand that love means everyone being fulfilled, even if that means they can't be together.

(in reply to Simian)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Slaves and subs support - 11/20/2005 8:23:43 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Simian

I have asked this question to the Ask a Mistress forum, with no response. I have been thinking it maybe better to ask a fellow sub as you will have a similar prespective or maybe experiences.

Question:

I am confussed about emotional boundaries in BDSM especially when old vanilla relationships between Mistress/sub become strictly BDSM again. I am at present entering into an unknown territory, where the Mistress is wanting me but still very much emotionally attached to an ex vanilla/slave. I can no longer fantaize about her because I see his anamtomy between us.

I am having second thoughts as some of the boundaries are blurred for me. I dont want to become emotionally attached or vanilla with a Mistress even if its been suggested as a possiblity, especially if she has a polyamourus lifestyle happening. I would prefer to keep my relationship with her as a Mistress/sub, but feel scared I may develop a deeper wanting.

Is it possible for a sub to not be overly attached to the Mistress?
How can I excercise a clear definative boundary between desire and self preservation?

I am romantically weak she likes this but I am afraid for my emotional wellbeing.
simian

take a really big chance and be honest about your feelings and express them. honesty isn't all that prevalent, despite the big claims, but it can do wonders for your soul and your understanding. we are separated by the animals by our abiility to talk. when we lose honest communication, there is nothing. nothing worth having, anyway. talk.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to Simian)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Slaves and subs support - 11/20/2005 8:34:07 PM

Simian

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

Yes I will talk with her most definately and if I must let it go I am able to do that also.

She does respect the honesty aspect very much, so I will take the risk and sift through the hay.

Its not so much about love its more about self respect, although it maybe love I am afraid of most of all, more than pain, probably the greatest pain...... Is love not just a pain in the ass!!?

I will talk thanks for the encouragement........proverbal prod
simian

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Slaves and subs support - 11/20/2005 8:50:29 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Understand that love means everyone being fulfilled, even if that means they can't be together.

I am going to remember that particular string of words, and use it often.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Slaves and subs support - 11/20/2005 9:16:57 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

Edited:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Simian

Its not so much about love its more about self respect, although it maybe love I am afraid of most of all, more than pain, probably the greatest pain...... Is love not just a pain in the ass!!?

I will talk thanks for the encouragement........proverbal prod
simian

self respect will always be with you, while relationships may come and go. enough to give pause for me. yes, love can be a pain in the arse. but keep in mind to never lose you. you always come home to you, and it's you and what you do that you've to live with if you've a sense of ethics and values. i wish you well.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to Simian)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Slaves and subs support - 11/20/2005 11:29:27 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

quote:

Understand that love means everyone being fulfilled, even if that means they can't be together.

I am going to remember that particular string of words, and use it often.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross
=========================

hmmm. interesting. "I" was told......."love is for those that have the time to"-----nancy sinatra......1960's

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to Sensualips)

Profile

Post #: 7