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RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 3:02:41 AM

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/12/2005
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It sounds to me like you are if nothing else a latent homosexual with an appetite for a black male and are using the cuckold excuse to arrive at where you would like to be without guilt and say my g/f or Mistress made me do it!! If a Mistress is going to cuckold you it is her prerogative and decision.

(in reply to veronicaofML)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 4:35:47 PM

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

...The basic definition of a cuckold is a man whose wife/gf goes to others for sexual pleasure while denying him access to her sexually.

The one thing I hear most often from potential cucks is that the hope to find a Cuckoldress that they can have a "normal" relationship on the outside or within vanilla life and a cuckolding situation with in the privacy of the marriage/relationship. That means a loving D/s relationship that has cuckolding at its basis. It is absolutely possible to have a loving D/s relationship and still humiliate the one You're with.

It isn't possible, from my perspective, to have said it better.

I happen to be one who would prefer to be sexual with my wife/Owner but I can't deny that the whole sexual denial aspect doesn't have it's value.

I do believe that the woman should be entirely 193% in charge of all aspects of the sexual relationship and if that means she says no to sex with her husband and only with other men...then that's the way it is. If she's generous enough to offer it to her husband on a limited basis, possibly on his birthday...their anniversary...possibly as a reward for some kind or considerate act on his part...or every Wednesday....however she wants that to occur, that alone makes it all the more beautiful and more of a loving cuckold marriage. (Of course, my preference would be of a slightly higher frequency...with some of the denial/teasing :)

I think that's what it comes down to for many cucks, that the frequency, if at all is entirely controlled by her, he never knows when he'll "get some" and it keeps him on edge/guessing at all times.

And for a woman, it has to be wonderful knowing that the man you love, when he knows you're out with another man, in another bed savoring every fruit and sexual frenzy you want out of life, indeed because of it, you always know at all times, your man is where he belongs, at home...alone....waiting for you, with a smile, head over heels in love, thankful that when you walk in that door, flushed and spent, you're coming home to the one you love and he loves you all the more.

Strange huh?

In fact, he loves you even more than every one of your girlfreinds husbands love their mates...and you know it...to your toes.

The funny thing is, every day you go out with your girlfriends, you're dying to tell them your secret because you know you've got the best gig on the planet and the fact that makes it all the more hilarious and so perfect is....every morning he wakes up and whispers quietly as he stares at you...as he wipes the last bit of sleep from his eyes...THANK you God!!!"

Because in his mind, you're the sexiest creature that ever walked the face of the Earth.

(Yeah...it's a good thing :)

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 5:58:53 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

And for a woman, it has to be wonderful knowing that the man you love, when he knows you're out with another man, in another bed savoring every fruit and sexual frenzy you want out of life, indeed because of it, you always know at all times, your man is where he belongs, at home...alone....waiting for you, with a smile, head over heels in love, thankful that when you walk in that door, flushed and spent, you're coming home to the one you love and he loves you all the more.

Strange huh?

In fact, he loves you even more than every one of your girlfreinds husbands love their mates...and you know it...to your toes.

The funny thing is, every day you go out with your girlfriends, you're dying to tell them your secret because you know you've got the best gig on the planet and the fact that makes it all the more hilarious and so perfect is....every morning he wakes up and whispers quietly as he stares at you...as he wipes the last bit of sleep from his eyes...THANK you God!!!"

Because in his mind, you're the sexiest creature that ever walked the face of the Earth.

(Yeah...it's a good thing :)

I think this is an example of a sub male fantasy that is desired to an "extreme" level, thus making it more unattainable (especially if you want an otherwise mutually loving, affectionate, traditional relationship/marriage) or almost impossible. Why does the cuckold sub desire it to the extreme, and why is a compromise or "just a taste of it" not enough?

Where the traditional relationship mix in this cuckold fantasy runs awry is with the issue of sexual relations, sexual intimacy, monogamy, and emotional impact -- most importantly, the risk of total disaster at any given turn when you have three people's sexual energy PLUS emotional connections all intertwined.

I don't think many women -- vanilla included -- don't enjoy a very tame, very subtle hint of cuckold-type flavor in their history of sexual or romantic adventures. Go to a college bar and see the sorority girl making out with a jock's best friend, just to show him that she can, and meanwhile in her head she's still emotionally tied to only one of them. Look at the ladies who dress really hot at bars with their husbands, knowing all the other guys will be checking them out and the husband can witness this and think, "Damn, the hottest woman in this bar is the one with me, and she could leave with any of those guys in a heartbeat..."

Women throughout history play a sadistic game with men: It's called "Let's make him jealous." This comes in varying degrees of non consensual headgames to complete mindfucks and often goes all the way to cheating -- just because she can. What's the common thread? Dysfunction, lack of trust, hurt feelings, and damaged love. Is it worth it for the thrill when two adults are now together? It's one thing in high school or college -- but as adults, are we to risk throwing a hand grenade into a perfectly fine relationship because what started as a fantasy went bad? What happens with the guy on the side starts to move in on her emotionally? What happens when the woman does decide another guy is better in bed -- and, actually, more fun at the movies, at the park, and at the beach -- and the husband is not only alone and horny -- but, simply, *alone*?

To me, the cuckolding quest is similar to a masochist who will never settle for some spanking and occassional intense pain play, but sets his sights on a full-on sadist who wants to beat him bloody 4 - 5 times a week. Or a submissive who does not want to even consider entering a relationship where he may have the opportunity to serve; instead, he is "holding out" for a woman who will cage him 24/7 and keep him serving constantly.

A vanilla (??) couple I know has an odd dynamic that even my non kinky siblings have observed. She wears outrageously hot outfits -- practically illegal -- to dinner parties and functions. Fuck me heels, major cleavage, skin tight, too short, you name it. Her husband dresses normal and watches her flirt with all the guys around, and she comes just short of propositioning the guys (these are husbands of the ladies, all of them are friends, so it's a "joke" mostly); the husband is also the butt of her silly jokes about it, or she hangs on men while smiling at him and he asks the other men what they think of her. It's amusing to everyone. I imagine they probably go home and have mindblowing sex after each of these nights on the town; she doesn't sleep around, she never actually beds any of these guys (the entire dynamics of multiple friendships would be ruined), but you can bed she's fucking with her man's head and he's loving it. It might even be his idea.

But you change this "easy going, fun and flirty" dynamic into full blown sexual intercourse with friends (thus damaging relationships if it goes sour) or strangers (entering risks for disease, abuse, you name it) and it's all of a sudden a level of outrageousness that puts it well out of range of most openminded ladies.

Unless, ironically, her real kink is cuckolding, and she's able to fully remove herself emotionally from sexual encounters, does not mind the risk, and her motivation is not for money, but is out of love.

Good luck finding her!

Akasha

_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 5:59:01 PM

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
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Ummmm Wow...couldn't have said that better Myself...gosh...its suddenly rather warm in here.

A Very good thing...oh my...

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 6:03:52 PM

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Joined: 5/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Good luck finding her!

Akasha

(I believe I may have recently done exactly that :)

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 7/5/2006 6:19:18 PM >

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 6:09:47 PM

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

Unless, ironically, her real kink is cuckolding, and she's able to fully remove herself emotionally from sexual encounters, does not mind the risk, and her motivation is not for money, but is out of love.

Good luck finding her!

Akasha

Actually AAkasha he just desctribed Me and the relationship I'm looking for to a T. I assure you I'm quite real and if you read some of My posts you'll see that I'm quite intent on having this type of relationship...

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 6:25:52 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

Unless, ironically, her real kink is cuckolding, and she's able to fully remove herself emotionally from sexual encounters, does not mind the risk, and her motivation is not for money, but is out of love.

Good luck finding her!

Akasha

Actually AAkasha he just desctribed Me and the relationship I'm looking for to a T. I assure you I'm quite real and if you read some of My posts you'll see that I'm quite intent on having this type of relationship...

Yes, I see that you appear to be seeking what is described. From your earlier post on this thread you qualified more:

quote:

Perhaps My view of it is different from others but this is only My opinion.The appeal of cuckolding to Me isn't necessarily an appeal at all as LA asked earlier. I see it this way. While a sub/slave/cuck may be a wonderful companion, servant, and provider; his "shortcomings" anatomically speaking shouldn't mean I have to make do with what's onhand. Needless to say it would be rare for Me to even desire sexual intercourse from a sub/slave/cuck to begin with aside from oral pleasure. Regardless of his size I still would look to others for sexual pleasure, its the humiliation and Power Exchange that goes into it. Most cuckold situations go hand in hand with orgasm denial and chastity. Power & Complete Control, both very erotic and compelling emotions.

At the core of this to me is one word: SHORTCOMINGS.

I can see that a woman should get whatever pleasure she deserves; by all means, if a man cannot satisfy her, she is entitled to satisfaction elsewhere. I also have a huge fetish for humiliation and mindfucks, and have a large sexual appetite.

However, in my primary partner, in the man I choose to spend the lionsshare of MY time, I won't settle for shortcomings. Not sexual, not otherwise. Why would I settle? Why would I want to have to work to go outside *my* relationship for sexual satisfaction? If it's just to mindfuck the guy, I can see that. But because I have purposely "settled" for a sexually inadequate man?

I demand the highest level of sexual performance from my man. That does not mean I do not control ALL of his orgasms, his cock, his sexual release; it does not mean I do not DENY him for my own pleasure and to make him crazy with need. However, I would never want to settle for a man with sexual shortcomings, just as I would not want to settle with a man who had low intelligence.

What prevents you from straying once you find a man with the entire package?
Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 6:37:30 PM

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Joined: 5/6/2006
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Damn you write well Aakasha!

And whenever you do, it's always extremely well thought out, covering every aspect of the topic.

Very logical stuff. Always impressive.

I think you're right, to a point on this topic, and I'd add, any topic where a kink is fraught with fetish. I would agree that cuckolding extends itself into this realm.

I of course have not had a full blown cuckold relationship, and while I've spoken to many who have or do, I've heard as many stories about "she eventually left me for the other guy" as I have about how it's made their relationship "more exciting, more fruitful and I'm happier now than I've ever been" typically followed up with "I love my husband / wife more than ever and I'm so thankful he / she allows this".

I'm not one to judge anyone in their kink or their preferred lifestyle. I can only say what works for me and while I know my preferences lend themselves to a bit more of an edge than many, I also have to admit that without something like this in my relationship, I truly can't imagine ever being in another.

I'm confident that most who view WIITWD would feel similarly along the lines of..."that's over the top...too much...it's fetishized (if that's even a word) and by virtue likely to cause disharmony".

I suspect that most people don't have a desire to jump 27 bus's with a two wheeled device, moreover, those that do probably don't hear too many "HELL Yeah's!!!" when they discussed it with their mates, adding in the potential consequences...but, I also suspect that even with all the hospital stays, people such as Evil Knievel are equally satisfied that they didn't become an accountant.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 6:38:47 PM

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Joined: 6/22/2004
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Yes, she does. She always makes ya think.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

Damn you write well Aakasha!

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 7:02:13 PM

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Joined: 5/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Yes, she does. She always makes ya think.

Perzakly.

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 7/5/2006 7:03:00 PM >

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 8:00:06 PM

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

What prevents you from straying once you find a man with the entire package?

why love of course....however it isnt straying since its quite out in the open and the entire point of cuckolding is a man who's wife get's pleasure from other men while denying him..

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 8:17:37 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

What prevents you from straying once you find a man with the entire package?

why love of course....however it isnt straying since its quite out in the open and the entire point of cuckolding is a man who's wife get's pleasure from other men while denying him..

The competitive nature of men is a concern here. Once the "boy on the side" decides he wants to be more than the casual fuck, there's nothing from stopping him from pursuing the femdom on a romantic level. Any time a submissive is a kept man BECAUSE of his shortcomings, I worry that ultimately he is replacable. Which is fine, if he is fully aware of that; but we were addressing how does a submissive get into a full loving, mutually affectionate LONG TERM relationship. If the femdom is already getting her sexual pleasure elsewhere, not as a supplement to her main lover but as a replacement because he is inadequate, ultimately he is going to be the one dumped when pushed comes to shove.

Because we are obviously talking about a woman with sexual needs and who places her sexual needs first; she won't give up her sexual pleasure because she is in love with a man and all of his shortcomings. She will get it elsewhere. So three, four, ten years down the road when push comes to shove, which guy gets the short end of the stick?

Or, what happens when the lover on the side does decide he wants more than sex, and starts to romance her? Who is the sub to say, "knock it off"?

When I say "stray" I don't mean "starting seeing guys on the side," I mean stray as in, "the humiliation sex games were fun, honey, but I fell hard in love with this guy -- the one who can also give me sexual pleasure -- and we're moving to Hawaii where I will live the life of a loved woman by a man with a great cock who is an excellent lover. See ya!"

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 8:45:01 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

Damn you write well Aakasha!

And whenever you do, it's always extremely well thought out, covering every aspect of the topic.

Very logical stuff. Always impressive.

I think you're right, to a point on this topic, and I'd add, any topic where a kink is fraught with fetish. I would agree that cuckolding extends itself into this realm.

I of course have not had a full blown cuckold relationship, and while I've spoken to many who have or do, I've heard as many stories about "she eventually left me for the other guy" as I have about how it's made their relationship "more exciting, more fruitful and I'm happier now than I've ever been" typically followed up with "I love my husband / wife more than ever and I'm so thankful he / she allows this".

I'm not one to judge anyone in their kink or their preferred lifestyle. I can only say what works for me and while I know my preferences lend themselves to a bit more of an edge than many, I also have to admit that without something like this in my relationship, I truly can't imagine ever being in another.

I'm confident that most who view WIITWD would feel similarly along the lines of..."that's over the top...too much...it's fetishized (if that's even a word) and by virtue likely to cause disharmony".

I suspect that most people don't have a desire to jump 27 bus's with a two wheeled device, moreover, those that do probably don't hear too many "HELL Yeah's!!!" when they discussed it with their mates, adding in the potential consequences...but, I also suspect that even with all the hospital stays, people such as Evil Knievel are equally satisfied that they didn't become an accountant.

You say you have never had a full blown cuckold relationship, yet that's what you must have.

You say you have "heard" about them, both good and bad. As for the "good," how much comes from couples you know who are actively living that lifestyle and are happy? How many years together? Versus how many "real life experiences" you have read about online; remember, many are fantasies written *as* truths but they are not.

Your Knievel analogy is interesting; however, the alternative to finding your dream is living a lonely life, single. In ten years are you going to be jaded? Sure, it sounds great right now when hot leads are coming in, and it seems like it might be doable, and you have some interest..but really, if in ten years, you still haven't had it, and you have been alone as a result, was it worth it?

I have a huge breath control fetish. Easily my hottest button on the planet. I've had it as far back as I could remember. I grew into this fetish learning about, reading, and buying the most amazing devices; rubber, masks, tubes, bags, you name it. I've researched and pondered builing an air tight plexiglass coffin shaped box to torment a lover in; I've written pretty detailed fantasies about that. This fantasy probably does not escape me for more than 5 days before it comes back to me. My ideal? A breath control dungeon with all of these devices, including the ones I have designed myself -- and an eternity to experiment!

Do I do it? No, of course not. I don't answer the calling of my most *intense* fantasy because it's also the most unlikely, the most dangerous, and the one that will yield me the lowest number of potential partners. My biggest fantasy is the one I will never have, simply because it's not feasible, not realistic, and not worth the risk.

There are so many things I can do to indulge this fantasy without taking on the risk, and pushing it to the extremes so that I limit my partner pool to only the smallest fraction of potential mates. Forget about it -- then we have to also match up on a host of other levels? Not going to happen!

I'd much rather play as close to the edge as possible, but do it with love, lust and a bounty of partners that will never leave me lonely, and give me the experiences I crave. I'm happy to "tone it down a notch" and get a nibble at a time if that's what it takes; true love is worth it.

Why do so many subs want their fantasy 100%, and will settle for nothing less, even if it means being alone?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 8:53:49 PM

Posts: 29
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nick2020

It sounds to me like you are if nothing else a latent homosexual with an appetite for a black male and are using the cuckold excuse to arrive at where you would like to be without guilt and say my g/f or Mistress made me do it!! If a Mistress is going to cuckold you it is her prerogative and decision.

You must be referring to your own fantasy or situation, because you can't be referring to mine.  I never mentioned a "black male." I never said anything about race or skin color. If anything, my ex liked blonde guys, but that's neither here nor there. I had no "appetite" for any male. I never did anything sexual directly with any of my ex's guys. As a matter of fact, the turn-on for her was in emasculating a straight guy. It was very important to her that I be straight. She never tried to feminize me, and she repeatedly warned that if I ever sucked a dildo or took a strap-on in the ass, we would be finished because it wouldn't be cuckolding to her unless I was completely straight.

Who are you to dictate that "if a Mistress is going to cuckold you it is her prerogative and decision?" It actually was always her decision, but what if it wasn't? Who made you the arbiter of other people's situations and preferences?  And I never said she was my "Mistress." That's your word, not mine. I never used the term "Mistress" with her. That wasn't our thing.

There's always at least one self-appointed armchair shrink in every crowd.  Psychoanalyze yourself.

(in reply to nick2020)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 9:13:40 PM

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Joined: 5/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I'm happy to "tone it down a notch" and get a nibble at a time if that's what it takes; true love is worth it.

Why do so many subs want their fantasy 100%, and will settle for nothing less, even if it means being alone?

Akasha

I could answer that a thousand ways (and I agree...true love is the key...it's the arbiter), but the best answer I could give you is...if all your life you dreamed of ascending Everest and at some point you had the opportunity, only to opt to stay below 3,000 feet for fear of the risk, and spent the rest of your life drudging in some menial life (and it could be being the CEO of the most favored corporation, or being the janitor at the local school), how often, even recklessly and wastefully would you wonder...."But I could have" ?

How much time is wasted not chasing a dream?

How much energy would be spent on wishing you had instead of knowing you did?

I don't know the answer to your question...but I know that the few brass rings I've acquired to date still don't have the shine of what I've been seeking for the last 20 years. (And as a side note, that doesn't limit itself to my sexual preferences).

I spent a great deal of my youth acquiring what was "safe", solely to ensure that what I reached for, I'd retain. I'm finally at a point where I'm confortable reaching for things that seem out of reach for most, still with the ability that if I fail miserably...I'll still be able to sleep, eat and all the other functions I need to do without worrying about a mortgage.

Do I want to go to my end without having tried everything I believe is within my grasp? No. Certainly not.

I spent the last 20+ years accomplishing what everyone around me warned me was not only foolhardy, but impossible.

After I spent a great deal of time listening to them explain why a thing was un-doable (including my own family by the way), I waited long enough for them to catch their breath and then explained to them I'd already done it.

Do I think I'm smart enough to know when I fly too close to the sun? History proves I'm not likely to be of the chosen.

But I'll be damned if I'm going to sacrifice what I dream about simply because others insist it can't be done.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 9:30:36 PM

Posts: 29
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Akasha's point about jealousy is well-taken. Making me jealous was one of my ex's major motivations in cuckolding me.

I do disagree with the "shortcomings" point - at least in connection with my former cuckold relationship. I may have been a bit shorter than the guys she cuckolded me with, and I was not as well-hung, but I have never been considered sexually inadequate.  My ex didn't view me as having "shortcomings." She had no particular preference for guys taller than me or better endowed than me. She is not a size queen. She picked such men only to make me feel inadequate.

Before we embarked on the cuckold relationship I described above, we were a conventional - albeit adventurous and experimental - couple in a monogamous relationship that was sexually satisfying for both of us.  It was only after I decided I didn't want to be involved with her long-term (for reasons unrelated to sex) that I pushed the cuckold situation. At first, she reluctantly agreed, but then she got into it herself.

My comment above that the relationship ended for reasons unrelated to cuckoldry, while true, does not tell the whole story. The reason we broke up is that she was in love with me and wanted to go back to the way we were as a monogamous couple, to get married and have kids. As I said above, I only pushed cuckoldry after I decided that I wasn't interested in a long-term committed relationship with her. To me, the cuckold thing was an experiment, and when it ended, our relationship would be over.  That's what happened.

< Message edited by malakas -- 7/5/2006 9:31:33 PM >

(in reply to malakas)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 9:40:35 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

Unless, ironically, her real kink is cuckolding, and she's able to fully remove herself emotionally from sexual encounters, does not mind the risk, and her motivation is not for money, but is out of love.

Good luck finding her!

Akasha

Actually AAkasha he just desctribed Me and the relationship I'm looking for to a T. I assure you I'm quite real and if you read some of My posts you'll see that I'm quite intent on having this type of relationship...

Yes, I see that you appear to be seeking what is described. From your earlier post on this thread you qualified more:

quote:

Perhaps My view of it is different from others but this is only My opinion.The appeal of cuckolding to Me isn't necessarily an appeal at all as LA asked earlier. I see it this way. While a sub/slave/cuck may be a wonderful companion, servant, and provider; his "shortcomings" anatomically speaking shouldn't mean I have to make do with what's onhand. Needless to say it would be rare for Me to even desire sexual intercourse from a sub/slave/cuck to begin with aside from oral pleasure. Regardless of his size I still would look to others for sexual pleasure, its the humiliation and Power Exchange that goes into it. Most cuckold situations go hand in hand with orgasm denial and chastity. Power & Complete Control, both very erotic and compelling emotions.

At the core of this to me is one word: SHORTCOMINGS.

I can see that a woman should get whatever pleasure she deserves; by all means, if a man cannot satisfy her, she is entitled to satisfaction elsewhere. I also have a huge fetish for humiliation and mindfucks, and have a large sexual appetite.

However, in my primary partner, in the man I choose to spend the lionsshare of MY time, I won't settle for shortcomings. Not sexual, not otherwise. Why would I settle? Why would I want to have to work to go outside *my* relationship for sexual satisfaction? If it's just to mindfuck the guy, I can see that. But because I have purposely "settled" for a sexually inadequate man?

I demand the highest level of sexual performance from my man. That does not mean I do not control ALL of his orgasms, his cock, his sexual release; it does not mean I do not DENY him for my own pleasure and to make him crazy with need. However, I would never want to settle for a man with sexual shortcomings, just as I would not want to settle with a man who had low intelligence.

What prevents you from straying once you find a man with the entire package?
Akasha

I usually agree with you Akasha, but not this time...

The entire package is the whole cuckold relationship, and is not something that can be found in one male. Sure a woman cuckolding her husband could fall in love with 'the other' man, and move away to Hawaii to live happily ever after. Does this not happen regularly in vanilla relationships as well? I don't view choosing not to have intercourse with a male as meaning he has any 'shortcomings' sexually, but that I would choose whether to use him sexually or not for my own fulfillment as it seems right to me. Lack of fulfillment can be potentially found in any relationship, and it can be found in many non-sexual forms

Many people don't understand the nature of a cuckold relationship, and are quick to judge as it would feel wrong for them. I don't think intercourse (or any sexual act) has any bearing on how much someone loves, or cares for another. I view the greatest love in being with Me... and being Mine always, despite the fact that he may never get to have intercourse with Me.... and then to know that another man has sexual privileges that he will never have, and he loves Me enough to want this for me, because it fulfills me, that's true love in My eyes. This true love is the most important part of the cuckold relationship, and it is strengthened with the presence of a secondary relationship

A cuckold relationship is usually not about sex games, but is a special relationship, that contains a dynamic and emotions that can not be understood by someone who does not have these desires; the same way that most vanilla people would think that many bdsm activities constitute 'abuse'.

Settling for less certainly is only going to lead me right back here eventually, seeking the relationship I know I desire.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 9:43:38 PM

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Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

Because we are obviously talking about a woman with sexual needs and who places her sexual needs first; she won't give up her sexual pleasure because she is in love with a man and all of his shortcomings. She will get it elsewhere. So three, four, ten years down the road when push comes to shove, which guy gets the short end of the stick?

Or, what happens when the lover on the side does decide he wants more than sex, and starts to romance her? Who is the sub to say, "knock it off"?

When I say "stray" I don't mean "starting seeing guys on the side," I mean stray as in, "the humiliation sex games were fun, honey, but I fell hard in love with this guy -- the one who can also give me sexual pleasure -- and we're moving to Hawaii where I will live the life of a loved woman by a man with a great cock who is an excellent lover. See ya!"

Akasha

Akasha...with all due respect I simply do not know how to explain this to you so that you will get it. Or even if its important that you do get it. I am not desiring a cuckold marriage to bide time until something better comes along. I'm not looking for a cuckold marraige in order to then leave them for one of My lovers. My lovers have a very specific and intensive purpose...pleasure. My cuckold husband has yet another...he will be My best friend, My submissive, My worshiper, My pet, My provider and My cuckold. What he won't be is My Lover in the way others will be.

I'm not going to leave him for them (once he is actually found). I'm not interested in them (lovers) emotionally as anything but sexual pleasure. There is a great gulf of difference between sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity. The entire basis of the relationship is that its a cuckold relationship to begin with...I don't know how to explain that any more clearly...they whole interest is in the fact that I can do whatever it is I want with whomever I want and yet still come home to an adoring loving cuckold husband who understands and accepts that as My due. Who is happy for Me that I've enjoyed that pleasure and is even happier that I've returned home to him. Therefore I'm not going to leave My cuck husband for a lover...that is never ever going to be an issue. Why should I? when I can have the best of both worlds?? I'm not in any way trying to be rude I just can't explain it any clearer. Lovers are for pleasure...nothing more and nothing less.

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Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
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I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 9:48:19 PM

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Joined: 5/6/2006
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Nicely put MistressLorelie.

Thank you.

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

RE: Cuckolding - 7/5/2006 9:51:31 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

Many people don't understand the nature of a cuckold relationship, and are quick to judge as it would feel wrong for them. I don't think intercourse (or any sexual act) has any bearing on how much someone loves, or cares for another. I view the greatest love in being with Me... and being Mine always, despite the fact that he may never get to have intercourse with Me.... and then to know that another man has sexual privileges that he will never have, and he loves Me enough to want this for me, because it fulfills me, that's true love in My eyes. This true love is the most important part of the cuckold relationship, and it is strengthened with the presence of a secondary relationship

A cuckold relationship is usually not about sex games, but is a special relationship, that contains a dynamic and emotions that can not be understood by someone who does not have these desires; the same way that most vanilla people would think that many bdsm activities constitute 'abuse'.

Settling for less certainly is only going to lead me right back here eventually, seeking the relationship I know I desire.

But does what you describe fall more under the category of "poly" than "cuckold"? It seems to me that there are some common underlying themes in the cuckold relationship, often focussing on the submissive being denied, sometimes with humiliation as part of the core of it, and sometimes being "forced" to service the man brought into the relationship. The common themes I see in cuckold fantasy are not about a loving couple where the woman takes on additional lovers and her mate is happy for her and they feel complete; more often, she is taking on other lovers to tease, humiliate and make her primary partner feel objectified, humiliated or inadequate. I have not heard of many cuckold fantasies where the woman takes on the additional lovers and the primary is not involved, humiliated, objectified or somehow involved; he is not merely acting as a removed third party, happy she is content, with a "don't ask, don't tell" rule.

If a femdom decides to take on additional male lovers just because she's seeking additional pleasures, and the primary partner is ok with that and is happy because it makes her happy, to me that's very different from a cuckold relationship where the submissive's role is as a secondary, a humiliated victim, an objectified and denied player in the game.

The way you describe the feelings as being something someone could not understand to me sound more like "poly" vs. "monogamous" -- but maybe I am missing something.

I could much easier envision myself as poly with my current lover/relationship; that's not a leap at all. However, to consider a cuckold relationship would change the dynamic entirely. I can reflect on relationships where I might have been able to very successfully integrate cuckolding; however, in all those cases, the man is so entirely replacable as a lover that he's also replacable as a primary mate, and thus wouldn't last long as a life partner. For a hot fling over a period of time -- absolutely! But as a lifelong relationship? If the sexual dynamic is based on his *inability to fulfil* then he's doomed to fail, in my opinion.

Akasha

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(in reply to MistressLorelei)

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