Alphas... afraid to be called Switches?

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Alphas... afraid to be called Switches? - 8/20/2008 9:23:43 AM

ToysAndTies

Posts: 124
Joined: 5/20/2007
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I've been noticing a lot lately as I peruse profiles that there seem to be a lot of Dominant women who make mention in their profiles of having Masters or Mistresses. I'm sure it probably happens with Dominant Men too, but as my searches don't include them, I don't notice. Now, to me, that puts the person in the role of an Alpha sub / slave, and, while still in a power or authoritative role over other subs / slaves, submits to a higher authority. I don't want to launch this into another nitpicky terminology debate, however, it seems odd that an Alpha would go by anything other than Switch or sub. Has anyone got any insight into why this may be?

I think it has something to do with the sister-seeking duties of some alphas, that their job is to attract more submissives to the family, and that's better done with a Dominant profile. Just a hunch. Thoughts?

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RE: Alphas... afraid to be called Switches? - 8/21/2008 6:33:57 PM

TheTXRanch

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/18/2008
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I am Dominant towards women but very sub towards Men. In talking to people, I often get the comment "I'm sorry, I'm not looking for a switch". I always laugh a little, because I used to feel the same way. It took a lot of effort for me to finally call myself a switch. Much was the same when I was younger and exploring my sexual preference. I would strictly date women and call myself a lesbian but then I would switch back to men and call myself straight. I never called myself "bi". I think because I am such a decisive person, I felt that "switch" or "bi" was indecisiveness and therefore inadequate.

I think I am a better Mistress to women because I am such a good sub to Master. Nevertheless, calling myself a switch turns away a lot of potential subs who say they are looking for Dom/Domme couples only.

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julz

"Until they become conscious, they will never rebel, and until they have rebelled they cannot become conscious." 1984 by George Orwell

(in reply to ToysAndTies)

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RE: Alphas... afraid to be called Switches? - 8/21/2008 7:53:27 PM

gobsmack

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/11/2008
From: Mars
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Maybe identifying as a Dominant on their profile lets the potential subs know exactly where they stand before they initiate contact. The roles are already defined and a sub contacting a Domme knows they are expected to be submissive in the relationship. With a switch, unless they mention who they are dom/sub to, it's like Forrest Gump and his box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get.

(in reply to TheTXRanch)

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RE: Alphas... afraid to be called Switches? - 8/22/2008 7:42:54 PM

Naira

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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Heh...I am a switch, but I changed my profile to "dominant" when I came into a relationship where I was to be the dominant. If I found myself in a relationship where I was the sub, it would so change on my profile.

Like TXRanch mentioned, identity (especially for other people) depenends a lot on what they see. I act dominant now, thus I must be a domme. It's the same with my sexuality...I can't be in a straight relationship and be bisexual, I MUST be straight as well.

I think this is utter bullcrap. I am bisexual and a switch, no matter what the make up of my current relationship(s) is/are. BUT given that most people want to box everyone else into neat little categories, I have little problem just going from one neat little category to another as it suits me. If this pisses off people who want me to pick a box and stick with it, I don't care.

The other thing is that when I had myself marked as a switch, I got lewdly worded messages from both subs and doms. I found this to be really annoying. I was thinking that by picking dom, I could cut the number of idiotic messages in half. Well, that didn't work either. Now, I just don't answer the messages that are one line or include any amount of idiocy.

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RE: Alphas... afraid to be called Switches? - 8/23/2008 3:31:23 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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I am not any kind of Alpha anything, the person I submit to wants nothing to do with the people I dominate, although he's frequently amused by the stories. I am a switch, and I ignore the overinflated egos of the types that say anything rude about it.... and yes, there's a lot.

Actually, it seems there are a bucket of 'gorean' guys that seem quite certain that I just don't know my place, and must be chomping at the bit to be their mindless little slave. Blech. Quite often switches are seen as people who just can't make up their mind. Personally, I already HAVE made up my mind, and I want a little bit of everything, thanks.

-Lynx, the drunken bisexual switch.

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(in reply to Naira)

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RE: Alphas... afraid to be called Switches? - 8/24/2008 4:57:24 AM

ToysAndTies

Posts: 124
Joined: 5/20/2007
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I know a great deal of switches who do not find themselves in any kind of alpha poly setup, but have moments on top, moment on bottom...hell moments in between, whatever floats their boat. However, I was more throwing the question out there to the Alphas, regardless of what "box they put themselves in". To the alphas of a poly family; why do you call yourself dominant, switch, submissive, or any other title for that matter? Are there alphas that do not switch (such as a lead submissive type that does not top others at all?) I'm just curious about the whole arrangement there. Perhaps this would be better fit in the poly forum, but I thought I'd see how it went here.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

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RE: Alphas... afraid to be called Switches? - 8/27/2008 6:44:44 PM

virgini970

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Joined: 5/28/2008
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I think a lot of them are not sure what they want

(in reply to ToysAndTies)

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